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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be getting more and more angry

54 replies

Newtothisstuff · 16/07/2012 11:14

I probably abu because I'm hormonal but....
I'm getting more and more pissed off at a friends gf's fb status... Story is (if anyone is interested)
We got married late last year but I was pregnant so we decided to postpone our honeymoon until this year.
DH's best friend announces he's getting married abroad in an expensive place
DH asks if we could go there for our honeymoon so we could go to the wedding as well.
Not somewhere is usually go but I agreed as DH really wanted to go.
Wedding is in 6 weeks time.
Last week they called it off and decided to cancel everything.
So now there's 30+ people all booked up to go there and no wedding to go to.
Now she's posting all over fb that she wanting to book various places (that I'd rather have gone to) I just want to write on there.
"so would I but I'm stuck going somewhere id rather not THANKS"
It doesn't really matter I suppose because it's our belated honeymoon and we are going to have fun but it just pisses me off, surely she should have a bit more respect for the people who have just spent over £1000 on going to their none existant wedding !! Phew rant over !!! God reading this back no wonder DH told me to stop moaning lol

OP posts:

Original poster

Newtothisstuff · 16/07/2012 11:49

It's Italy.. Ihatethecold.... Could be worse I suppose.

OP posts:

SomethingSuitablyWitty · 16/07/2012 11:49

You are definitely NBU - if I have understood rightly that she has taken it into her head to just move her wedding somewhere that she now finds more convenient, it is just mind-blowing. I hope she realises that she has wiped out a lot of guest list in the process.

LemonBreeland · 16/07/2012 11:50

I agree that it wouldn't be wrong to post what you said. I would post and defriend. What a selfish bitch.

AKMD · 16/07/2012 11:51

Italy is lovely... all of it except Naples.

garlicbutter · 16/07/2012 11:51

You will have a great time, and you will post it :) :)

I'd be inclined to contact her friends before you go (if you've got time and can be bothered, what with your wedding and all) to arrange a Non-Wedding Celebration over there - if you make sure they all know it's your honeymoon, you should be getting plenty of free drinks out of it

BackforGood · 16/07/2012 11:52

What Pandemoniaa said.
Of course they shouldn't get married if they have realised they are not ready to take such a step, just to not inconvenience any guests . Can't believe anybody thinks they are wrong to pull out of the wedding if they are not ready!

Original poster

Newtothisstuff · 16/07/2012 11:57

Backforgood.. It's not the fact they have cancelled it, like you said if they are not ready it's a good thing, it's the fact she's posting all over fb that shes booking other places for next month (ibiza and other party places) now leaving everyone stuck with their travel plans !!

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AKMD · 16/07/2012 11:58

BackforGood I don't think anyone blames them for cancelling their wedding. I'm sure quite a few marriages have gone ahead because people are too embarassed to back out :(

The selfish bit of this is the bride going on and on and on about how they didn't really fancy plan A but now they want to get married in St Lucia/Las Vegas/Spain/Paris/Copenhagen/Butlins and won't it be so fun and jolly for everyone who was invited last time. When the people who were invited to Plan A have bought tickets that they won't be able to get refunded without paying penalty charges and have rearranged family holidays/settled for a destination they wouldn't have chosen themselves/gone without a family holiday/made other sacrifices in order to attend this now non-event and are now expected to make further sacrifices to attend at the next destination of choice.

toomuchmonthatendofthemoney · 16/07/2012 11:58

I wouldn't FB it, but I would phone her and say "look, your FB updates are upsetting a LOT of people who have paid money etc, perhaps you could cut it out or you may end up alienating a lot of people and not get any nice presents when you do decide to get hitched "

That way it's not in print forever, you sound like you are trying to help her, and it gets it off your chest.

bleedingheart · 16/07/2012 11:59

Well she can post all she likes on FaceBook but I'm guessing that they'll have to borrow witnesses from the venue as none of the original guests will be willing to book to go aborad again will they? Unless the couple pay for it!

Of course, you shouldn't feel to afraid of the guests' reaction to call off a wedding but to start positng alternative venues is crass, immature and thoughtless.

Enjoy your honeymoon OP!

pictish · 16/07/2012 12:00

Totally New!! I could not agree more - she clearly doesn't give a flying fuck about all the people they have put out of pocket with their whim, as she is stupid and socially inept enough to shout publicly about going elsewhere, while the folks who have forked out for their non wedding are stuck with the tickets.
She is an insensitive clod and needs made aware of that fact.

bleedingheart · 16/07/2012 12:01

abroad too posting

ViviPru · 16/07/2012 12:17

I love your turns of phrase pictish :)

PenisVanLesbian · 16/07/2012 12:19

You booked it as your honeymoon though because your DH asked you to, because he wanted to go. So he's happy enough anyway, and you shouldn't have agreed in the first place if you didn't want to go there.

Ephiny · 16/07/2012 12:30

So they've decided to cancel this wedding but they're already planning another one in a different location? How odd. I'd be surprised if they get many people wanting to attend next time!

I could understand if they'd split up or changed their minds about marraige or something, but this is just bizarre!

ViviPru · 16/07/2012 12:38

I gathered that she isn't organising a second one in a different location, just bleating on about unrelated travel plans?

Birdsgottafly · 16/07/2012 12:41

How do you know that those statuses aren't PA for someone else?

A friend of mine canceled her 'abroad' wedding a few months before, he had played away, thinking that she wouldn't make a fuss, because of letting everyone down by canceling the wedding.

She posted alot about how good life was, but everyone close to her knew who they were directed at.

It sounds as though she may be trying to save face, with people who may be smirking about what happened.

Birdsgottafly · 16/07/2012 12:43

Why don't you head over to the relationship boards to tell anyone canceling their wedding, because of doubts, or something that has happened, that they cannot because they will let people down.

If a woman/man is going to change, it happens after an expensive showy wedding is booked, or a pregnancy.

NeenawNana · 16/07/2012 12:51

You have to remember that (presumably) she didn't hold a gun to your head to force you to book your honeymoon in that location - you could've declined the invite and gone elsewhere (though I understand why you felt it wouldn't be the done thing).

I totally understand why her posts are winding you up though - is she on about booking another wedding in an exotic location, or just going on her hols there?

At least you'll have a nice time with your friends and family though and can post about it all over facebook. Rise above it and don't make comment, hopefully someone else will do that!

Original poster

Newtothisstuff · 16/07/2012 13:03

I take it you haven't read this properly Birds ???
I totally understand that they Decided not to get married, that's not my problem, she called it off and good on her she was brave.
My problem is the fb posts saying she's booking elsewhere.
No noone held a gun to my head, or the other people who booked but it's my dh's good friend, a friend who was an usher a our wedding so DH wanted to be there for him like he was for us !

OP posts:

Minesaguinness · 16/07/2012 13:13

Did I read that right? She's going on about booking places for NEXT month? So six weeks is too soon for them to get married but ten weeks isn't? Makes no sense!

ViviPru · 16/07/2012 13:24

Newtothisstuff

Please could you clarify... Is she booking a wedding elsewhere or just a regular holiday next month?

Ephiny · 16/07/2012 13:28

I'm confused now, assumed they were re-booking it as the OP mentioned a 'next time', but maybe that's a separate thing?

Original poster

Newtothisstuff · 16/07/2012 13:33

No she's not rebooking the wedding for next month, she's booking a holiday for them both to somewhere else for next month (which is when the wedding was), if that even makes sense !!

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NeenawNana · 16/07/2012 13:35

I don't even get why she can't just go on the original holiday and not have the wedding - She must be made of money tbh and it is rubbing your noses in it somewhat to go on about it.

Unfriend her, I reckon.

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