To leave DH to get a taxi back after his vasectomy?

[Notinmykitchen]

Please be gentle, this is my first AIBU, and I suspect IABU! I will try to keep the back story brief. DH and I have one DS. When DS was 3 DH reluctantly agreed we could TTC a second. Unfortunately after about 18 months of actively TTC nothing had happened. DH was not willing to try any sort of treatment so we gave up. That was about 6 months ago, and since then I have been trying, and mostly succeeding in coming to terms with how things are, although it is not easy.

However he then announced he was off to the doctors to get a vasectomy. To me this just feels too final, and he knows I have a massive problem with it, however it is his body so I appreciate not much I can do. As a result I have said when he goes for the op I want nothing to do with it, and he will have to make his own way there and back, which will mean a 20 minute taxi ride post op. Now having said that I feel guilty, so should I give in and say I will take him there and back, or not?

Take him

YABU to think that transport is the issue here.

You want another baby, DH is having an operation to ensure that you, as a couple, don't have any more babies.

I think you need to have a good talk to your DH.

Does he know that something between 1 in 30 and 1 in 60 men have chronic, untreatable testicular pain following a vasectomy?

Worth a mention just in case he has second thoughts.

So rather than try to establish why conception is taking longer than you thought it would he'd rather get his tubes tied?

For what it's worth it took up 20 months of trying to conceive number 2. No reason.

I think you need to sort out how you both feel before he gets the op.

Hmm I'm not sure. I'd be pretty upset if my dh decided on a vasectomy without discussing it and knowing I wasn't happy about it.
Might be a bit harsh making him taxi back but I'd probably have said what you said initially - then changed my mind!

Unfortunately there is no way to resolve the main issue. I want a child, he doesn't. He did agree to try, which he didn't have to do. There are good reasons why he doesn't want any more, which I understand. Unfortunately this is not something you can compromise on. Believe me we have talked about it many many times!

He won't be able to get a taxi back by himself ime - we were told that someone had to pick dh up and accompany him home afterwards.

Is he have the snip because no 2 hasn't happened yet?