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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think this is a stupid idea?

41 replies

extremepie · 15/07/2012 17:29

A friend of mine has a 5yr old DS.

His ex and his son's half siblings live up north so he doesn't get to see them very often.

He has decided to take his DS out of school on the last day of term to go and visit his ex and his siblings.

I understand that he wants to take him for a visit but why does he have to take his DS out of school to do it?

Neither he or his ex work so I know that isn't an issue for them, I don't get why he can't wait until the weekend, or any of the following 6 weeks of the holiday!

Admittedly he probably isn't going to miss much 'learning' on the last day of term but I kind of feel like that isn't the point. I'm not sure why this is bothering me so much, possibly because said friend's DS got into an extremely good, oversubscribed school (they even increased the class size for him) and I feel like DF (friend) is not very appriciative of this fact by pulling his DS out of school whenever he feels like it for quite flakey reasons.

Arrrg, am I just being an unreasonable bitch who should mind her own business?

OP posts:

TapirBackRider · 15/07/2012 18:32

That sounds like it's unhealthily close for both sides - maybe you should take a step back if it bothers you to this extent.

This child is not missing school for a day though, are they? He's missing playing games, having some cake or sweets, watching a film. Primary schools do nothing on the last day but have fun.

This may not be something that you would do, but it is something they intend to, and are going to do.

hermionestranger · 15/07/2012 18:32

My DS has you day on the last day of term. All they do is play. All day.

Op wind your neck in.

TapirBackRider · 15/07/2012 18:36

So the issue isn't actually missing school, but the fact that this child was given a school place which is now being treated, in your view, in a rather cavalier fashion?

Still unreasonable tbh, because it's nothing to do with you.

Tee2072 · 15/07/2012 18:37

"Although I am sure that the fact my DS (same age) has struggled to get any school place at all, let alone one in one of the most oversubscribed schools in town, is colouring my view somewhat!"

Yup. Jealous. Like I said.

CwtchesAndCuddles · 15/07/2012 18:38

It's one day and the child is 5 - it's not like the kid is missing GCSE exams !!!

Kayano · 15/07/2012 18:41

Last day of school aged five is drawing pictures and singing

Butt out

nailak · 15/07/2012 18:43

i found the last day of reception was a very important day for my dd emotionally. Since she was very attatched to her teachers, and quite upset, obviously yr1 is a lot different from reception. The teachers made a huge fuss out of the kids that day, full of games and fun and good memories and positive things about moving in to yr1.

Although normally I am off the its only one day and family is more important camp of thought, I do think it is a shame to miss the last day of reception.

squeakytoy · 15/07/2012 18:45

a five year old missing the last day of school is not going to have one iota of impact on his education or friendships.. when he goes back, none of his little friends will remember that he was not there on the last day..

missing the first day of term is much more of an issue..

keep your beak out as the others have said..

Original poster

extremepie · 15/07/2012 18:46

I already admitted that I am jealous Tee, tell me something I don't know!

Just to clarify, I'm irritated at DF's attitude.

I'm not annoyed that DF's son got a place in that school, I'm annoyed that he has that place, which a lot of other parents (including me) would kill for, and yet he pulls his son out of school wherever he feels like it, for no good reason.

Like, for example, the time where his son was off school for 2 weeks because he had tonsilitus and his dad didn't give him his medicine, meaning that he was off school for about a week longer than he needed to be.

Or the time when he took him home at lunchtime because he was 'acting up' and he didn't feel like he was up for staying at school the rest of the day.

Would it be ok if he missed the last week of term, because it 'isn't important'?

It just bothers me that he has such a blase attitude.

OP posts:

Original poster

extremepie · 15/07/2012 18:51

It could also be bothering me because his DS has special needs and IMO he needs to make the most of his schooling so he can progress as much as possible. Not to mention the fact that he might not understand why when he goes back to school he might not understand why he has a completely different teacher and classroom.

(FWIW, before anyone flames me I also have a DS with special needs).

OP posts:

Original poster

extremepie · 15/07/2012 18:51

^Ooops, repeated myself a bit there!

OP posts:

akaemmafrost · 15/07/2012 19:48

Just mind your own business. There is NO reason IMO that can justify how invested you seem to be in this.

mumeeee · 15/07/2012 20:53

DD3 now 20 has learning difficulties and I found at 5 she learnt things a lot better at home. Yes she did go to school but things we did at home got through to her more. Missing a day at the end of term at 5 years old won't put him back. Also he will have already met his new teacher before the last day of term. Why are you so bothered?

mumeeee · 15/07/2012 20:59

Oh by the way tonsillitis can take ages to get over even if you are taking the medicine. Anyway how do you know your friend wasn't giving his DS his medicine. DD3 has taken over to weeks to be completely well. Your friend knows his son better than you and maybe he needs these times off of school. It is none of your business and if the school had a problem with it they would discuss it with your friend.

Original poster

extremepie · 15/07/2012 21:30

I know he wasn't giving him the meds because he told me! He was complaining that he wouldn't take it and sent him back to school after a week - he then took him off school again a few days later due to him becoming sick again (after not taking his meds).

I know it probably seems I care way too much about this but if you knew him in real life and knew his attitude you might care too! DF is constantly complaining about how hard his life is, despite having a pretty cushy set up - I appreciate it is not easy being a parent but he does nothing but moan and act like he can't be bothered.

OP posts:

Nagoo · 15/07/2012 21:37

why are you friends when you don't like this person?

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