To think that XP should not leave dd2 out of sight.

[baabaapinksheep]

XP live a couple of hours away and comes to see the dc about once every 6 weeks, this is his choice, I want him to come more regularly. Over the last year he hasn't seen them much, and not very often on his own, he used to come and see them at mine but as we don't get on ivsaid he needs to take them out somewhere instead.

Anyway, yesterday he took them to soft play for he afternoon, and while they were having lunch he left dd2 (2.8) on her own to go and get some ketchup. He tried to get DD1 (4.3) to stay at the table but she wanted to come with him, he told them that someone needed to stay with the food, so left dd2 who didn't mind staying at the table. I wouldn't mind if he could see her, but he had to go downstairs to another level of the building where he could not see dd2.

This makes me feel uncomfortable, I think she is too young to be left in a public place out of sight. Also, due to the little amount of time he spends with them I don't trust his judgement in these situations. He told me I was overreacting, and I shouldn't criticise his parenting.

So AIBU, or is what he did ok? I am more than happy to be told I need to chill out and trust what he does.

Was she strapped in a high chair?

I thinks so, but she's quite a houdini!

If she was strapped in, I probably would have shot downstairs quickly to grab the ketchup, yes.

However, I wouldn't have let a 4yr old dictate to me so she would have stayed and kept an eye on her sister for the minute it would have taken.

He's being unreasonable. You don't leave kids alone in public, its just asking for trouble.

I personally wouldn't leave a child unattended in a highchair in that situation. What if she'd tried to get out to follow them?

I wouldn't have given the 4 year old a choice about staying at the table.

Our local soft play is small so I would leave Ds who is a similar age alone (and not in a highchair as he doesn't use one) to run for something, but the one you describe sounds much larger so I wouldn't

Sorry but I think YAB a bit U, can you honestly say that you can constantly see your DC in a soft play centre the whole time you are there? I certainly can't

He nipped to get ketchup, not really the crime of the century is it?

Are you looking for some excuse to have s go at him? Cos this seems quite flimsy really. He will learn..

I wouldn't have left a child strapped in a high chair. If they attempt to get out, actually getting out and running off is the least of your problems. More likely is tipping the high chair over in the process and smashing your head on the floor. This happened to a friend of mine, whose child ended up with a fractured skull (fortunately, no lasting damage).

Thanks for the replies.

Barred soft play is my idea of he'll so don't take them, but no I probably wouldn't be able to see her at all times.

I main worries were that someone would starting talking to her and she gets upset (she is very wary of strangers), she tried to get out and fell, DD1 falling down the stairs or there being a queue, therefore delaying them getting back to her.

I know it's not the worst thing in the world, but it doesn't sit right with me, especially when I already find it hard to trust him with them.

YANBU
I would be very upset leaving a small child like that alone.

If he left her strapped in a high chair, he is out of order, because you don't leave a 'houdini' in a high up place, with stairs separating you, with hot food about.

If she wasn't strapped in, you don't leave a 'houdini', just over 2 1/2 year old, in a strange place where there is hot food and people carrying hot food/drinks to wander after you.

If he is just getting the hang of taking them both out on his own, then there is nothing wrong with raising this, but unfair to 'have a go' at this stage.

The ketchup couldn't have been a million miles away from the eating area.

He should have told the 4yr old to sit down and stay there while he went to get it.

I know it's not the worst thing in the world

There is a real concern of a head injury, or fracture, though.

I wouldn't do this. Ketchup is hardly a necessity, I'd have done without.

I'm not looking for a reason to 'have a go at him, besides him telling me and me saying that I wasn't happy we haven't talked about it. If the general consensus is that it's ok then I will leave it. It's not something I would do, but obviously that doesn't make it wrong.

Birds he probably doesn't know how good she is at escaping, he doesn't see her enough for that, and it didn't occur to me to tell him as I don't use highchairs for her anymore.

you can't trust this man to look after your children properly. re-think access. have him round to see them at yours. your children are not old enough to look after themselves when he lets them down.

and it bloody well is not alright to leave a small child alone in a restaurant. all it takes is one dodgy character to pick her up and carry her out of the building and you've lost her.

YAB a little bit U but I agree with Worra - It doesn't sound like he has much control over them. If you have calmly suggested that it might not be the best idea to leave them alone at all then that seems fair enough. He may not have thought about the high chair falling over thing.

love bunny- you seem to have an axe to grind.

Lovebunny - please chill out.

Thanks for all the replies, I'll have another chat with him soon.