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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to wean my 16month off from the best for a decent night sleep

18 replies

razzledazzler · 14/07/2012 23:10

My 16month old DS is a great eater of solids etc she still takes breast milk last thing at night. I work nights, my DH can put her to sleep without a bottle but she will stir and i will, finish her off if you like for the night with a BF. Recently when she wakes in the night shes wanting to "nuzzle", its a couple of times a night every bloody night. I want it to stop. Not too sure how I go about it and if its the right thing to do. I do like the connection but also know that I have a great connection aside from the BF and know that it isnt the be all and end all. I need to sleep!!!! Dont mind formula, so she could still get that to help her over..... help!!

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Original poster

razzledazzler · 14/07/2012 23:10

FFS title should read breast

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CarefullyAirbrushedPotato · 14/07/2012 23:20

no research has ever shown that babies sleep better on formula or solids as far as I am aware. I think I'd just get on with it and know that it'll pass? They're a long time grown

McHappyPants2012 · 14/07/2012 23:23

IMO a 16 month old does not need formula.

ImaCleverClogs · 14/07/2012 23:25

Try sippy cup of water. She may give up if that is all that is on offer. if not Jack Newman nightweaning has been recommended on here lots.

kinkyfuckery · 14/07/2012 23:34

There is no guarantee that it will work. My DC weaned at 2 1/2 and still isn't sleeping in their own bed all night at past 4.

If you'd be happy enough to give up breastfeeding, it's worth a try, but if you think you would regret stopping at this stage if it doesn't work....? I'd keep going.

Original poster

razzledazzler · 14/07/2012 23:35

Carefully - I know that formula wont help her sleep longer, but I mean that shes got into a routine of nuzzling me to get to sleep, I would like to break this. Also meaning that im not anti formula and this doesn't bother me as shes had it the odd time.

Would like to break the routine, beginning to wish I had done it earlier, feel that she's older and understands (to a point) and will be wondering why she doesn't get BF anymore.

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Original poster

razzledazzler · 14/07/2012 23:36

Everyone thanks for their replies - I know its not the most exciting of topics for a Saturday night. I value everyones opinions

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TheEnglishWomanInTheAttic · 14/07/2012 23:38

I night weaned from breat at 11 months for that reason - we had got to the stage of wake ups every 45 minutes for a solid few months... but 5 months later he still wakes 3-4 times on the average night 8though he has slept though a few times). He also lost interest in BF about 6 weeks after night weaning - I introduced bottles of cows ilk at the same time, and he stopped asking for breast and started asking for bottle gradually, over 2-3 weeks.

But you are absolutely NBU esp at 16 months with sleep deprivation!

TheEnglishWomanInTheAttic · 14/07/2012 23:41

apologies for typos... 14 month old asleep on me! you get the picture! But don't regret night weaning! Night weaned my 2nd born at 9 months and he has slept through ever since, except for nightmares and illness, it works brilliantly for some, less so for others, but it almost always brings a bit more sleep!

Original poster

razzledazzler · 14/07/2012 23:44

Thanks English Woman, I think Im going to give it a go. Again was carrying on til this age through convenience (and possibly laziness) but think the time has come to wean her off completely - do you think she will understand? (as crazy as that sounds)

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GruffalosGirl · 14/07/2012 23:46

i had the same problem at 13 months and gave up breastfeeding cause of it. Was the best for us. DD sleeps great now and eats better in the day. It took two nights for her to settle but she sleeps through now and is much brighter now she doesn't wake every two hours to feed.

If you're happy to stop breastfeeding I'd say go for it.

lovebunny · 14/07/2012 23:46

don't know what to say. my daughter was four when she was weaned. sixteen months seems very early to me but if it suits you and her there is no reason why not.

rhondajean · 14/07/2012 23:48

Dazzle you have done amazingly for your kid carrying it on this long. I think that the extended bf that is in the news now makes people feel bad weaning from the breast at a "normal"age (quotation marks for a reason to)

Yes she will understand as it were. The first two years in particular I noticed are full of reasons to be guilty, don't be, do the best thing for you all.

Original poster

razzledazzler · 14/07/2012 23:49

GruffalosGirl, was it really ok after a couple of nights? how did you go about denying her requests? Like, did you think it would be easier to give in, obviously thats the easy (lazy) way out that I was talking about earlier

Lovebunny thats an amazing amount of time you breastfed for. I was aiming for 6months so Im pleased that I carried on for as long as I did.

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Elderflowergranita · 14/07/2012 23:55

You have done amazingly well to carry on breastfeeding til this age. You sound like you're ready to move on, so go for it and don't feel guilty. You don't need anyone's permission to do what's right for your family.

At every stage of childrearing there is a pang when something changes, ending breastfeeding is only the start of it !

TheEnglishWomanInTheAttic · 14/07/2012 23:58

Razzled it took 4 nights for my DS to accept it - he was literally having 12 or 14 breast feeds in 24 hours! I found some of the mums who advocated self-weaning had either children who fed only morning and evening, or had a very big age gap or an only child (in this post I am talking about DC3, who is the one I night weaned at 11 months and totally stopped at 13 months). I was finding that as DC3 got older he was feeding more not less, and being up for 10 mins ever 45 is NOT in the best interests of a family including 2 older, but still little, siblings! Things are much easier now that I get blocks of 3-4 hours sleep, and very, very occasionally up to 6 hours...

She may not totally understand, but if you put a jumper on to dampen the milk smell and the access, and cuddle her while she rages at you the first few nights she will "get it" and not feel alone/ rejected. Even better get DH to do the first couple of nights, but I know that is an ideal world suggestion!

Good luck! Not all babies subject us to extremes of sleep deprivation, and those who never went through it, even if they had children, can make us feel bad... there is no one size fits all with babies, and what looks selfish to a mum whose child self weaned at 4 but cut down to 2 feeds at 12 months is different to the experience of a mum of a 16 month old who feeds hourly!

GruffalosGirl · 15/07/2012 00:08

she really was fine. She wasn't feeding for hunger but comfort and so DH did settling for first couple of nights and i kept away so she couldn't smell any milk. Think she never took more than fifteen mins to go back off on any of her wake ups. She's never even tried to grab at me or feed since.

She really wasn't bothered that much, she just took the milk cause it was there cause i was quite lazy about feeding her to sleep so i didn't have to get up and rock her to be honest. Once it was gone she stopped bothering to wake for it. I'm really glad i did it and wish I'd done it a bit earlier now to be honest.

Original poster

razzledazzler · 15/07/2012 00:45

Gruffalsogirl - sorry for the delay, you can guess what it was! During those first few nights with your DS - when she motioned that she wanted more, did you give her formula or just refuse point blank?

Englishwoman thanks a lot - again not wanting praise as the mean reasoning behind carrying on this long was more selfish (im ashamed to admit than for the benefit of DS. Obviously she was benefitting from it which is also a huge bonus.

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