To think if mil wanted to spend £250 on us she could have chosen better than a...

[lecce]

2ft tall black and white framed print of John Lennon, taken c.1968 with Yoko in the background.

I love John Lennon, dh not so much. However, mil had no idea whether either of us likes him- was happily surprised to find I do. Much as I do, I don't want this gift. It is huge. It will dominate which ever room we put it in.

To make matters worse, we are trying to sell our house so it really can't go up now. It seems we may have found a buyer but, when we do move, the fun of decorating the new home, arranging furniture etc will be totally spoilt by having to accomodate this picture.

WWBU to 'accidentally' break it while moving? I cringe when I think about the amount she spent on it - why, without having any sense that we would like/want it? It was a joint birthday present. I do not expect to have anywhere near that amount spent on me and would be more than happy with a card. But. But - if she was going to spend that amount there is so much we could have had that would have been either useful or a lovely treat (money is fairly tight - certainly wouldn't spend that amount without thinking very carefully first.)

Tbh, I see it as another example of her controlling behaviour.

Sorry typo ridden post...

Sorry typo ridden post...

Very very similar issue for my birthday a few years ago, I actually cried after she left that she spent so much on something i would never choose to put on the wall, then I realised i was being a tit and a gift is a gift, people don't spend vast sums of money on things they want you to hate, they think you will like it...sometimes they are wrong.

Mine still sits on the floor tucked to the side of a chest of drawers, in the spare room. It's a shame because someone would love it but i daren't sell it.

How strange that she bought you a present and then told you how much it cost! It does seem a bit of a random present. If she does this sort of thing alot you will have some interesting Christmases and birthdays ahead of you

One of my elderly cousins bought us a very large limited edition print of the Red Arrows taking off on a misty morning for a wedding present. No we do not have any RAF or any other military connections. Nor are we particularly interested in planes. We were totally nonplussed but my Mum said she thought he had spent quite a bit of money on it so we had to send an effusive thank you letter. Thankfuly he lives nowhere near us so we have never felt compelled to hang it, though we did toy with the idea of puttng it in the downstairs loo as a talking point for visitors.

I doubt if she paid that much if she bought it in a pub. Maybe someone said, "Here, it's yours for a fiver, but (whisper) don't tell anyone, but these are going for £200, £250 you know, just they're back of the lorry here. Want two?"

Say, "Thanks and here's a gift for you.

"

If she didn't know that you actually liked JL, maybe there's an off chance that she likes him, and bought a gift that she would like .
She might secretly want it back.
You could ask her to guard it while you move and decorate? And hope she wants to keep it?

But that scuppers your chances of losing/damaging it in the move

She definitely paid that for it. We went to lunch in the pub it came from the following weekend and it is full of similar prints at similar prices. It is a good quality print in a good quality (big) frame. I am just relieved she didn't get us one of Macca - couldn't have even allowed a huge print of his smug mug over my threshold .

She doesn't like him much but I think she likes the fact that it kind of sums up the spirit of 1960s London, or something . Sil loves it and said how jealous she was so dh suggested to mil we give it to her as she has just moved to a new flat. Mil went mad...

Think we will have to find a corner for it somewhere when we move. It's propped up behind the sofa now.

Can you take it back to the pub and ask for a refund, tell them you hate it.

It seems so crass to tell someone how much they spent on a gift!! yuck. reminds me of my mil.

Leave it in the attic when you leave.

I'd regift it to your SIL if she loves it so much. I can't be doing with people who effectively blackmail you with presents - I had to have strong words with my sister about this sort of thing years ago, because she buys presents for people that she likes, rather than thinking about what they would like - so you end up with a present that you have to try and look grateful for but you'd rather never have seen, ever.

If your MIL chucks a wobbler over it, then perhaps it will be the end of stupidly expensive, ill-thought out gifts - no loss. Just don't tell her - she can find out whenever.

Xales bet me to it - I'd put it in the loo, too. Tiny rooms are often better placed to take strong colour schemes or humongous B&W photographs of dead celebrities in a way that other rooms can't.

Then, when you've nailed it the wall, go out and buy a mahoosive Monet print (enlarge it if necessary) with a load of pastel pinks and greens in it, frame it in gold leaf and gift it to MIL. See how she likes them apples.

this just makes me laugh! what on earth is the woman thinking of? does she like john lennon? is she hoping she can stare at him when she visits, instead of having to look at your faces?

my guess is she bought it at a charity auction where she wanted to show off to her friends, and now she's won the thing she doesn't know how to get rid of it. i could be wrong, of course. i might be maligning the poor woman.

a discreet 'breakage' whilst moving, combined with a subtle sale on ebay, seems like the best solution. unless of course, she would hurry out to buy you a replacement...

When you say you MIL went mad at the suggestion of giving to sis, what exactly do you mean? Anger?
Your dh should tell her...or simply don't put it up. When my mil gave me a few nice but not to my taste decorative items, I simply thanked her, but put them away. (Only 3 times in all, and 1 of the 3 I was able to return, with an honest reason, because they were frilly seat cushions that (thankfully) did not fit my kitchen chairs. I bought a toaster oven instead). She never asked where the other 2 items were, (she is very polite) and after about 10 years stopped buying decorative items for me, and stuck to useful or gift certificates/cash.

Anyways, if you just put it away, and she asks, you can just say you haven't found the right spot yet.

Had she had a few too many Dubonnets and lemonade one evening?

"gahh... S'that John Lenin... they'll love this... Barman!"

My MIL does a peculiar thing where if she finds out I am coveting something, or I particularly like something, she will buy something not quite but almost entirely unlike tea it and present it to me triumphantly. It's always a bit perplexing. I have a small square synthetic sheepskin-style footrug that is not really the large real sheepskin I was saving up to buy. I have, well, I have numerous things like this.

She means well! I try to think of it as morally improving. Covetousness being wrong etc.

It's obvious that you need help with this, tell her: 'money can't buy me love, why don't you get something to please, please me instead'.
Imagine what what you could do with the money.

How bizarre! I think you should sell it. If she's controlling as you suggest then you shouldn't pander to her.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! NOT fair!!! I'd have wanted Ringo. She's a cow!!

The. Flower. It. Flows.

Youre all ungrateful hussies. The weding gifts from my husbands family would never gave reached that amount! Twas all tat. And theyre not skint. Chuck ut in the attic for one of your kids in a few years.

Although some say that Lennon was at his artistic peak c1968, one would argue that, creatively, nothing could better the raw sensuality displayed -nay, thrust by him during the period of '63'-'66.

I wouldn't care who it was from, my home is my sanctuary and everything that adorns it has to bring me pleasure. I'd be honest and if she got upset then fine.

My mum had a collection if things from her MIL that got put out before a visit. Naturally she forgot once and Granny raised it once my dad was a few drinks down and... well, honesty upfront would've been better!