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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or is my neighbour a cheeky and interfering bugger?

32 replies

TheSpokenNerd · 14/07/2012 19:58

Because she has just knocked on my front door to ask me "do you know your daughters are on their own out here?"

She had a face like this Shock

My DDs are 7.11 and 4.6. They are playing out the front of our house on the grass.

They have a little blanket to sit on and are threading bits of grass and daisies into a piece of cloth.

My front door and kitchen window is open...I am sitting where..I can moreor less see them....and I can definitely hear them and they and I check in regularly...the house is in a cul de sac...very quiet and both DDs know not to go near the road or they'll never be allowed out there again.

I KNOW it's 8.00pm but it's Saturday and very light too...they're quiet and happy and what's more, DH is working on the fence in the garden and regularly comes onto the driveway to get the tools he as out there..he's painting the panels.

We're not being loud or anything.

I said "Yes thank you I know they're out here" and looked at her blankly...she kind of went "Oh rght...but....oh never mind!" and waked off.

AM I wrong to let them out there in this way?

OP posts:
MrsRhettButler · 14/07/2012 20:00

She's weird

imsotired · 14/07/2012 20:01

dont think any more about it.

Iatemyskinnyperson · 14/07/2012 20:01

They sound perfectly safe to me. She's an interfering old wagon...

MammaTJ · 14/07/2012 20:01

Um, no!! I don't let mine out but that is because I have bastard unpleasant neighbours. They are old enough to be out by the front of your house. Mine are in bed though, after all, it is Wine o'clock!! My DD is a nightmare if she doesn't get her proper sleep!!

poorbuthappy · 14/07/2012 20:01

Nope, yanbu.

Original poster
TheSpokenNerd · 14/07/2012 20:01

Old wagon!

Ha....she's only about 35 or so!

OP posts:
RancerDoo · 14/07/2012 20:02

Or maybe she's just checking your kids haven't been left alone. I'd be happy to have a neighbour who wanted to look out for my girls. Poss she couldn't see your DH?

AgentZigzag · 14/07/2012 20:02

At least she was watching out for them.

SWBU to assume you weren't keeping an eye on them though.

What's she like normally?

MammaTJ · 14/07/2012 20:02

I suppose she meant it kindly though!! Look at the intention rather than the action!!!

Does she have children?

Original poster
TheSpokenNerd · 14/07/2012 20:02

Mamma mine are crappy sleepers andusually they wold be in bed...but they'd be creating a fuss and moaning and calling down...so thought I would tire them out more.

OP posts:
PuppyMonkey · 14/07/2012 20:03

Yep, 8pm - get 'em to bed so you can Wine

JeezyPeeps · 14/07/2012 20:04

She thought she was being helpful, and didn't say anything when you told her that you knew.

What was cheeky and interfering about that? I think that there aren't enough people looking out for others in general.

MammaTJ · 14/07/2012 20:04

I remember being on FB and someone who lives near popped up on chat. 'Do you know that DD2 is hanging out of your bedroom window?'

I was grateful!!

LRDtheFeministDragon · 14/07/2012 20:04

Sorry, but that made me snigger. She asked if you knew your children were out on your front lawn?! As opposed to where, down the local pub swigging shandy?

I think if she does it again you need to explain gently that you can actually see your front lawn and a reason for having grass out there is for children to play on it.

Johnnydeppsnewmrs · 14/07/2012 20:05

I had a neighbour knock on my door to say my kids were hanging out of the bedroom window Shock. I ran straight upstairs scared stupid.
They were both sat on the window sill. Inside the bedroom, the window was closed, and the bottom pane was locked. Hmm
People over react sometimes.
YANBU!

MammaTJ · 14/07/2012 20:07

Mine are also crappy sleepers, but I keep trying!! Thinking seriously of trying letting them stay up till they drop and then gradually bringing the bed time back by 20 mins. Can't remember what that is called.

Actually DD2 is the crappy sleeper, I am getting her assessed for ADHD soon. I often come downstairs at 5.30 am to find she has been watching tv for a while.

MammaTJ · 14/07/2012 20:08

Ah no JohnnysMrs she really was!! Little ratbag!! She can undo the child locks!!

ArielThePiraticalMermaid · 14/07/2012 20:10

Strange woman, and don't feel you have to justify by living in a cul de sac or whatever. If they were playing on the M6 at midnight she may have had a point, but as it is....

Johnnydeppsnewmrs · 14/07/2012 20:12

I actually hadn't seen your post MammaTJ prior to posting mine.
But my kids were not hanging out of the window, nor could the part of the window they could reach was locked. The top half of the window was unlocked but closed. DD can open it, but can't climb out of it.
My neighbour felt the need to scare me shitless, thats all.

Johnnydeppsnewmrs · 14/07/2012 20:14

*nor could that part of the window be opened as it was locked. My typing is shocking!

fedupofnamechanging · 14/07/2012 20:15

She is implying that you are the sort of mother who doesn't know where her own children are, because she disapproves of them being outside at this time. I'd be offended too.

Different if she saw them playing in the road and called to tell you, but they are safe and she just wanted to express her disapproval at what she perceives to be slack parenting.

They are your kids and if you are happy with what they are doing and they are causing no harm to others, then her opinion is of no consequence.

Jiggleballs123 · 14/07/2012 20:17

yanbu but sometimes nosey neighbours can be a good thing. If they had escaped you'd appreciate it!

My neighbours comes round to tell me my washing has blown off the line!

Original poster
TheSpokenNerd · 14/07/2012 20:18

Jeezy but she lives across the road almost opposite! She MUST have seen DH and I popping in and out all day! And the door is wide open....DH is clearly visible from her house as he comes in and out...there's a load of timber and other things on the drive...it's obvious!

She was I think, letting us know that she judged us.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheSpokenNerd · 14/07/2012 20:20

Karma x posts...exactly! She is implying I'm a crap Mother...they're in now.

I ate to leave them out there to show her I don't care! Grin

I should have plonked some McDonalds on the lawn for them to eat and bawled out of the door "Now shurrup and don't you bloody come in till i say so!"

That would have given her some fodder!

OP posts:
JeezyPeeps · 14/07/2012 20:23

You are assuming she's been watching. Chances are she glanced out and spotted the kids, and wanted to make sure you knew they were there.

If you take that attitude, she might not tell you if she sees them disappearing round the corner...