to be crying over a goldfish

[hairylemon]

I know Im a saddo, got quite attached to the little thing though

Only had him a couple of weeks, he looked a bit unhappy a few days ago and Ive only been doing partial water changes so thought "I know what will cheer him up, a nice clean tank" so I put him in a bowl, cleaned all the tank, filter, stones etc. Slung him back in and he looked quite happy.

This morning he was found on his side at the bottom of the tank, dead as a really dead thing. Took him out by hand to check for signs of life. Nothing.

I feel so guilty, I dont think the water change is 100% to blame as he clearly wasnt right but it probably sped it up somewhat.

What am I going to tell DS? He hasnt noticed yet

How did your ds take it? My dd's were ok about losing a few fish a while back, just tell him you can get another one soon.

What size is the tank (measurements LxW)? You could have a <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?hl=en&sa=X&tbm=isch&prmd=imvns&tbnid=D7Y-DYGeYcLQ5M:&imgrefurl=animal-world.com/encyclo/fresh/anabantoids/bettas.php&docid=gWWAHQUhEHsVIM&imgurl=animal-world.com/encyclo/fresh/anabantoids/images/Betta(bluemale)WFA_Ap4Be.jpg&w=400&h=313&ei=HlcBUNrfCcWp0QWk5PidBw&zoom=1&iact=rc&dur=270&sig=102374417680536564502&page=1&tbnh=123&tbnw=155&start=0&ndsp=17&ved=1t:429,r:2,s:0,i:145&tx=33&ty=46&biw=1024&bih=617" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">siamese fighter fish if you have a heater. They are beautiful fish (though cannot be kept with anything else) but they will take food from your hand and play with a ping pong ball. You can cycle your tank using pure ammonia or fish food.

I'm planning on getting one when i can afford another tank (have 2 already :) )

sorry been tending to a teething 9 month old arrrrgh!

Ahh, well it was veyr bittersweet. and in equal measurements. Im so proud of my boy. I made a hash of it, he didnt buy my "oh are you sure hes not hiding behind the plant" so decided to tell him as much of the truth as possible without being too blunt, started off saying "fishy was a little bit poorly....." and then realised Ive been telling him that Im a bit poorly (having some health probs atm, nothing serious) so so didnt want him to equal fishy being a bit poorly and not being there with me IYSWIM. Then just said fishy was a very very VERY poorly fish and hes gone somewhere where he doesnt feel sick anymore and just as I was about to say he has died honest to god he took hold of my hand and said "its ok mummy" [eyes well up] and I KNEW he knew what had happened. Cant explain it, I just knew that he understood. Told him we'd get another one soon we just have to make sure Fishys home is left alone for a little while to give it chance to get ready for the new one.

I had a little cry, again. Must be hormones or something

Thanks everyone for the advice, I will defo look on Fishnet. Thisis Im going to stick with the tank we've got and chalk it up to my stupid fish killing mistake experience but its clear i didnt do enough research which makes me feel very stupid and arrogant.

Zelda that fish is gorgeous, absolutely stunning! Ive measured the tank, its 40cmx30x28 and think the capacity is 24L.

I will definitely have a look on fishnet before I get another one, really dont want to do this again

Gosh. Naughty Pets At Home, 24 litres is much much to small for a goldfish.

Definitely think something like Cherry Shrimp and some pretty snails like Zebra snails would be good.

Shrimp are great fun watching the zip around the tank and climbing weed

Does anyone else think the government should bring in some legislation about this. Minimum sizes for tanks, and also rabbit hutches etc.

Places like PAH obviously couldn't care less and will continue to sell tiny tanks and cages and give misleading advice as their is no comeback for them. And to put it bluntly, more dead fish is good news for them, as they sell more.

I often think the government interfere too much in our lives, but this is one area where they could do some good!

thisisyesterday. I did fishless cycling with my tank. I rather enjoyed all the pipetting and measuring. IME it's not in the interests of pets shop owners to know about or advise fishless cycling. They'd rather sell more fish to replace the poor sacrificial ones.

I wouldn't advise goldfish as first fish, as others have said.

OP - I also cried when our first fish died.

No idea there was a fishnet. How exciting!

Perhaps someone can tell me why our Dwarf Gourami has just slipped this mortal coil

I wonder if that's what the pah guy meant then when he said to expect the first one to die? He only said I needed to keep the filter on 3 days before putting a fish in and he sold us the 24l one as being fine for 2 goldfish as we said we would want another one when we've got used to looking after them, it even said it on the packaging.

I admit my 'research' was more asking mates who keep them. I honestly didn't realise how delicate it all is, especially as back in the day we all had them won at fairs etc and you could put them in a bowl, none of this filter stuff, and they all seemed fine. A mate has still got hers in a tank about half the size of ours, no filter, changes water once a blue moon and hers is about 5 years old! Will be sending her here for advice

The filter can't develop - i.e. , no good bacteria can grow, unless they have something to feed on - fish waste, or in the case of fishless cycling, ammonia. So I'm not sure why they would tell you to even wait 3 days to put the fish in.

But don't berate yourself. I had this advice too. It's what many many people do. You can buy "filter developers" - like Cycle, which claims to put the bacteria into your filter. I have no idea if they work. I stumbled on fishless cycling.

TBH, fish do die, even if you've apparently done everything right. Nothing hurts like the first one, though ...

I think for a couple of goldfish you need at least a 50 / 60l tank.

They poo loads hence end up in their own filth as they are messy eaters too.

hey don't be silly, you asked around, you went to what ought to be a reputable pet shop and you took the advice of someone there.
please don't beat yourself up over it.

we started off with a 24l tank too, and tbh it really was/is a pain because you just can't keep very many fish in it. most fish like to shoal, but a 24l tank isn't really big enough to have a shoal of anything in it!

we eventually picked up a big 3ft tank for £20 on ebay and it's SO much easier maintenance-wise. we got a decent external filter and it stays so much cleaner than the small tank ever did.

i would agree that shrimp/snails are a good bet for a small tank

not at all - you're in good company!

I also started with a smaller tank. It's ironic because you think small=easier but it's not.

Foslady - that was ace

Jamie, google 'dwarf gourami iridovirus'. It's endemic in UK stocks and many sources now say not to bother with them at all as they will all cark it within a few months. :(

That tank would be perfect for a betta (siamese fighter fish) as they only need a small space. You should fish-lessly cycle it then get a betta I'm quite the fish keeper so if you have any q's feel free to pm me :)

Oh and i recommend www.tropicalfishforums.co.uk/index.php?action=forum lots of lovely people to help on there, its where i learned everything.