to expect DH to apply for jobs?

[bushymcbush]

He has been out of work for 5 months. He has applied for the grand total of ...

1 job.

I am on maternity and the money is running out fast. We're up shit creek without a paddle.

So yesterday, when I asked him what jobs he had seen lately, he had a quick look and saw one that would really suit him. The deadline is Monday. I asked him last night if he'd applied. No. Was he going to? Answer too vague to discern meaning. Same thing tonight.

And do you know the most ridiculous thing? I haven't got the balls to pull him up about this. If he leaves a mess somewhere, or forgets to put any washing on etc, I am down on him like a tonne of bricks. But the important stuff - this, and his drinking - I don't know how to talk to him about it all.

I'm fucking miserable.

Do you love him? Do you want to grow old with him?

Yes, and yes but only if he gets a job and sorts out his drink problem. Permanently.

How old are you both? :)

Are there any reasons finding a job is difficult for him?

I mean age/ restriction type things?

Bushy, he's not going to, is he? He knows you want to be a SAHM and yet he's done absolutely nothing at all to make that happen, has he?

Regardless of the physical and emotional effects of alcohol on him and therefore on you, there must be a huge financial cost, too. Surely the cost would be enough to enable you to not work as many hours, at least?

Maybe you have to be tough now. If you go back to work now, he will turn from an unemployed man (due to sacking) to a SAHD again. He knows you will always protect him, doesn't he? Do you know that about him?

In your position I wouldn't put up with him. It's up to you what you decide to do, or whether you decide to do nothing, go back to work and let him drink a lot and look after the children.