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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Is this taking the p**s?

17 replies

nethunsreject · 13/07/2012 20:37

Evening all.

A friend (not close, but Nice Person who I like hanging ot with, etc) has a wee boy who gets on pretty well with my eldest. Her chilminder was ill today so she asked me if I would mind having her little boy over while she did her 6 hr shift. I was happy to help.
However, she was over an hour and a half late to collect him and didn't let me know, then when he asked her if he could please stay for dinner (this was never metioned nor part of the plan) she said 'well, yes, if it's okay with nethunsreject'. I was and basically made up an excuse about going out, but thus made me look like the one who was saying 'no'. Yeah, I WAS saying no, but feel she should have said no in the first place as he had been there for the entire day.
The kids had behaved well for 2 6yr olds who were stuck in a small space together fo such a long time, but had I been her, I'd have been apologising and saying 'no, you can't stay for tea, you've been here long enough.'
What do you guys think?

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 13/07/2012 20:39

I imagine she thought her son, your son and possibly you had already ok'd it.

cocolepew · 13/07/2012 20:41

I agree with you, did she apologise for being late?

Original poster

nethunsreject · 13/07/2012 20:42

Ah, maybe worral.

coco, no she didn't. That really annoyed me tbh

OP posts:

MagicHouse · 13/07/2012 20:43

I think it was appalling not to let you know she was going to be an hour and a half late, and then not to have been the slightest bit apologetic about it. I would chalk it up to experience though, and if you ever offer to look after friends' children again be very clear about hours/ time you are available etc

It's really hard to do (not sure I would) but it really is best to be upfront; the best thing would have been to have told her you had been very worried because she was so late, and that after such a long day you need a break now, rather than sorting out tea, thank you very much.

cocolepew · 13/07/2012 20:44

Taking the piss for sure.

AgentZigzag · 13/07/2012 20:44

She did ask if it was OK with you, there wasn't much else she could do.

You said no, she probably just thought the DC hadn't really included you in their decision.

Maybe she thinks you're one of those weirdos parents who like other peoples children?

ginghamfish · 13/07/2012 20:45

without a doubt taking the piss, big time.

ScarletLadyOfTheNight01 · 13/07/2012 20:45

YANBU - I hate lateness...although I understand it can happen. If you're going to be late though, especially to pick up your children, it's the least you can do to let the person know. Doesn't take much, and I'd be SO apologetic if I was ever that late.

Original poster

nethunsreject · 13/07/2012 20:46

Pmsl! Yeah, I can tolerate OPCs for a very short amount of time!

Thanks for replies.

OP posts:

AgentZigzag · 13/07/2012 20:47

Yes, she should have contacted you and apologised for being late, that part was definitely taking the piss/rude.

BillyBollyBandy · 13/07/2012 20:48

The tea thing wouldn't bother me, the lateness really really would

dolallylass · 13/07/2012 20:50

YANBU not only should she have called and apologised when she got there but she should have had a box of choccies or bottle of wine in her hand as a thanks!

Shullbit · 13/07/2012 20:52

I do think not ringing you to let you know she was going to be so late was out of order, but the whole staying for dinner, no I don't.

I remember as a child, if ever I was at a friends, the only reason I would be asking whether I could stay for tea was if my friends mum had asked if I wanted to and was told to ask my mum. My mum used to say the same, "If it's ok with X's mum, then it's ok with me!" etc. I have also done this with the eldest friends on a couple of occasions so maybe she just assumed you had given it the ok?

Cheriefroufrou · 13/07/2012 20:53

d'ya think that maybe she thought he was asking if he could stay because he had been invited by your or your child?

rude not to let you know she'ld be late though

Original poster

nethunsreject · 13/07/2012 20:54

Actually, thinking about it, she is the type of person who loves kids in general and would happily take my ds for an entire weekend if I asked her. She perhaps assumes that I feel the same way whereas I can't be arsed with other folks kids

OP posts:

BillyBollyBandy · 13/07/2012 22:35

Can you introduce me?

ImperialBlether · 14/07/2012 00:09

My children would go to the childminder's after school until 6pm, three nights a week. Quite often I would find myself in my house at 6.05 with my children and hers. And I'd deliver them back at 8pm ready for bed.

I'm never certain how that happened. I think she cast a spell on me. I'd pay her £20 for the privilege, too.

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