I apologise if this is posted in the wrong part of the board, I'm new to this but have heard you're great for advice. I'm sorry it's long winded as well.
My partner decided about four months ago that he didn't love me any more and that he wanted to move out. It may come as a surprise to many but there is no other woman involved, he has however been diagnosed with aspergers so seems to be battling many demons within himself. I've been having counselling and am coping surprisingly well most of the time, in one way its a weight off my shoulders not having to deal with the roller coaster ride that has been our relationship over the years. I still care for him very much but as a person who has no empathy he isn't seeing the effect he's having on our children or myself so it hasn't been easy. Anyway, when he moved out, he moved about half a mile away as he wanted to be close to our children, it's had it's up and downs, they are fairly young so it's been confusing that he's been around every day but not living here. All of this will be changing within the next couple of weeks as he lost a very well paid job this week, he was on a probationary period with new employers but it hasn't worked out and they've had to let him go (he of course doesn't see that it all began to go wrong the time he left home). Anyway he will now either have to return to a low income self employed job or sign on. This means he won't be able to afford to stay in the rented house down the road and will have to move into a property his parents own which is 60 miles away. Another upheaval for my lovely children but possibly one that will be for the best as there will be more structure and consistency to his visiting instead of him letting them down all the time as he was often late when he had other things on his mind.
Anyway we have lots to discuss and arrange regarding visitation ect, anyway he has already said that he won't be able to pay me maintenance when he signs on / re-establishes his business. He's currently paying £300 a month so it will be huge difference to me. I do work full time and get some child tax credits but it won't be easy, I still have to keep a roof over our heads and pay bills whereas he won't! Anyway I've suggested that he sees them every Wednesday for a few hours after school, every other Saturday and that they can stay with him one Friday a month and that he brings them home by bed time on Saturday, at least to begin with as they are going to need a lot of adjusting and then it can be increased to every other Friday night if they wanted to. Am I being unreasonable here? It's his decision to leave I wanted to try to work things out, I'm still not 100% sure that he won't eventually say he'd like to come home but at the moment with him being able to drop round whenever he wanted he hasn't really seen what he's missing out.
I apologise for the long waffle!
Thanks if you've got this far :)