to speak to this girl's mum?

[Megatron]

I am not trying to be an interfering old boot here but I am really worried about a girl that works in the same place as I do. She's very young (16) and is on placement from college. She is an absolutely lovely lass, very good at her job and generally just a delight to have around and I and the rest of my colleagues are very fond of her.

Now here is my problem. I am certain she is making herself sick after eating. She is painfully thin but eats a ton of food, normally cakes, chocolate, biscuits etc and I have been in the staff loos on a couple of occasions and heard her vomitting. I heard her today and when she came out she looked embarrassed to see me and said that 'she couldn't bear that stuff in her stomach' then continued to eat all afternoon and disappear at regular intervals, coming back looking flushed.

Her mum picks her up some nights and I give her a lift home the other nights so I have got to know her mum fairly well. I am genuinely worried about this girl and I think I need to speak to her mum, actually I am in no doubt about this but I guess I'm just asking if anyone else thinks I should or mind my own business as another colleague suggests?

How awful, for HER and for YOU.
I think, if it was me, I'd have to do something. Is there a Senior Manager you could ask to take over? Have you talked to the girl? That might be a good place to start.

Any ed needs to be addressed but I would try to approach her directly rather than her mum to begin with. If she won't engage or refuses to get help tell her you may need to inform her mum as a responsible adult (like a teacher would in school), then tell her mum if needed.

Your colleague thinks you should mind your own business? How sad.

Chances are her mum already knows, but what if she doesn't? I think you should definitely say something.

I'd casually say something like 'doesn't she have a delicate stomach, she must get quite washed out by it'

The ball is then in the mums court to ask more or deal with, without creating an awkward situation.

I reckon just talk to her first. She has pretty much admitted she does it to you and that's quite an admission

Maybe she would like to talk to someone about it? Give it a go

Poor girl. I'd be surprised if her mum didn't already know though. She was able to talk to you a little bit so I would also try to talk to her again.

I suppose I just didn't want to embarrass her. She's quite a shy, sensitive girl and I know she had some issues at school last year before she started with us but I just cannot sit back and do nothing. I've kind of taken her under my wing a bit and feel very protective of her. It makes me so, SO sad that she has so little confidence (always saying she's a mess - she's not she's lovely) I just want to help her.

Difficult one, her mum may well know about it of course and then would feel a bit embarrased. I would maybe talk to the college, make it absolutely clear that she works well etc but you are worried about it. Then they can chat to her mum. Otherwise talk to the girl, the fact that she made that comment may well have been a cry for help otherwise she woudl have been hiding it. Don't do nothing though for fear of interfering. I think you need to help her and you sound lovely and caring.

She might find it easier to talk to you than her mum too, just because teenagers don't often open up to their parents.

I was quite shocked when my colleage said to 'keep out'. I would never normally interfere but I feel this situation is different.

I would try speaking to her but maybe it is best if you don't discuss any of this with any of your collegues.

Tro oh I didn't talk to all my colleagues about it, one of them was in the staff loos at the same time. It's not something I would gossip about, we were both there and both thought that there was a problem (my colleague also had noticed it before). We just had a different view on how to approach the situation.

Her Mum likely knows, but on the off chance that she doesn't, it's probably a good idea. But do speak directly to the girl about it too, she's old enough to have a right to know what you are going to do, even if she doesn't like it. Maybe it might spur either her or her Mum to take a step towards getting help if she doesn't have help already :(

I would attempt to open the communication with the girl herself...If she has said something about it to you then I'd definitely see this as a possible cry for help from someone she feels she can trust....
I wouldn't tell her mother at this stage...this girl has become close to you and maybe needs to know you won't betray her secrets...
you are older and she looks up to you...let her lead take things forward...don't push it or be too direct...discuss third party situ's and reactions of others, forming opinions and opening up about her own thought processes...it will give you enormous insight into how she ticks and responds...you can tell alot about a person's emotional state by simply hearing views and feelings on things that are personally unrelated to them....
don't discuss with colleagus either...just between you and her at mo....

Sorry, opps, i didn't phrase my post that well, I didn't mean I thought you were gossipy. . Quite the opposite, you sound kind and considerate.
Hope whatever you decide to do goes well.