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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to have walked out?

41 replies

infamousfive · 12/07/2012 20:12

Started work at 8am this morning. Line manager announced she had booked me onto a complusory training course starting at 1pm. I have to leave work at 5 to get home in time to pick up the dc from nursery and after school club. I asked manager what time course meant to finish she said 5. I said OK but will have to leave at 5 even if course overruns.

At around 4pm it was obvious we were nowhere near finishing. It didn't help that the trainer didn't start the course til 1.15 as he was waiting for 2 people to turn up. We stopped for a coffee break just after 4 and I approached the trainer and told him I would have to leave at 5. He looked at me open mouthed in shock and said 'I will try and finish up by 5.15'. I felt like saying well that's no good to me I just said I need to leave at 5 but didn't.

Anway 5 comes and goes and I get up and say 'I'm really sorry but I'm going to have to leave now'. Cue lots of shocked looks from the other 20 odd people on the course. The trainer throws me a dirty look and thrusts an evaluation form at me on my way out telling me I have to fill it out and return it to him. As I left trainer said 'thank you everyone else for staying when some people have decided to leave early'. .

The thing is that I was in a room with 20 or so people who finish work at 7pm, so for them there's no issue with them about this course overrunning whereas for me it means I would have left two small children stranded at school and nursery. There is literally no-one else who can pick them up.

I just know trainer is going to tell my line manager that I left early. But I don't think IABU as I am paid to work til 5 which is what I did...

OP posts:

pjmama · 12/07/2012 20:14

You told them you had to leave at 5pm. You were leaving to collect your children, not to keep a pedicure appointment. Fuck 'em if they didn't like it.

BlackOutTheSun · 12/07/2012 20:15

you didn't leave early, you left on time

princessclaradoll · 12/07/2012 20:15

YANBU, i have this issue regularly. I get dirty looks when i up and walk out at 4pm but other staff seem to forget i am only paid until 4pm and its that time for a reason.

Noqontrol · 12/07/2012 20:15

You should have told him straight, cheeky sod. But as you've had no notice to plan for this then obviously you're not unreasonable.

ChuckleMonster · 12/07/2012 20:15

Sounds reasonable to me, especially if you only found out about course today, you didn't have time to try and arrange for someone else to pick up dc.

olimpia · 12/07/2012 20:16

Don't feel guilty. If you had to go, you had to go! I'm sure that you're not the only one with childcare commitments. Your line manager will understand.

NotAnAxeMurderer · 12/07/2012 20:17

YANBU. Cheeky sod! What did he expect you to do, leave your kids waiting on the footpath in the rain?

FlossieMae · 12/07/2012 20:18

Booking someone on to a training course without telling them would be considered unreasonable in my organisation.
Leaving as you did, at a fixed time for childcare reasons, is also the norm. Actually, because that's the time you finish is a good enough reason, without having to explain yourself.
I do hope you don't get in trouble for it.

TheMysteryCat · 12/07/2012 20:18

YANBU!

I've done it several times, despite people saying "we'll only be another ten minutes", when I know that's a) not true, they'll be twenty minutes... and b) It still takes me an hour, exactly to get to where I need to be to pick up my DS and it's not reasonable to make the nursery late, and I would have picked up a late fee.

If you are challenged on it, then maybe explain that the course started late, because other members of staff didn't bother to turn up on time, and if you're going to be disciplined, will they be too?

marriedinwhite · 12/07/2012 20:19

If you are expected to work beyond your contracted hours, if you have childcare commitments you should have been given notice. The trainer was very rude but I think you should have told him at the beginning that although you would love to stay until the end, you had to leave at 5pm to collect your children not just that you had to leave at 5pm. I would have sat close to the door so that I could have got up and slipped out very discreetly having already said when I needed to leave and why.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 12/07/2012 20:20

YANBU at all. Your boss made the mistake, and should admit it to the trainer.

MammaTJ · 12/07/2012 20:20

I would have had to turn round and point out I was leaving on time!! You can still do that!

Shenanagins · 12/07/2012 20:20

Yanbu. you have a contract that states you finish time of 5pm, you made it clear to both your line manager and the trainerin advance that you had to leave at 5, the trainer chose to wait for late comers making the course run late.

i wouldn't worry about it as you have acted reasonably given that you were not given advanced notice which could have allowed you to make alternative child care arrangements.

Minesaguinness · 12/07/2012 20:22

Having to leave bang on time is normal for most working parents isn't it? I wouldn't worry as your line manager knows your situation and will be used to it and secondly, the course was sprung on you last minute so there was no way you could have made contingency plans.

rhondajean · 12/07/2012 20:22

YANBU.

I have worked as a trainer and it does my head in when people can't stick to timings and finish when they should. It's poor planning and unprofessional on their part. For that reason ALONE I leave now when something should be finished.

lovebunny · 12/07/2012 20:23

you did the right thing.

igggi · 12/07/2012 20:23

Have led training and while it's a bit off-putting if people come late or leave early (or don't come at all!) I would be the one in trouble if I passed a remark like that. It may be your boss was at fault for booking you onto something that actually finished at 6 or whatever.

ImperialBlether · 12/07/2012 20:25

You were in the right, the trainer was in the wrong.

Have fun with the feedback sheet. It's disgraceful that a trainer makes bitchy remarks during training.

MerylStrop · 12/07/2012 20:26

YANBU

When you fill in your evaluation form make sure that you include that the trainer started late and could not keep to the time allowed, diminishing the effectiveness of training for you, and that they also chose to make an unprofessional comment when you HAD to leave ON TIME.

You would not have been unjustified in leaving even if you WERE going for a pedicure.

LibrariansMakeNovelLovers · 12/07/2012 20:27

YANBU - you couldn't have done anything else really could you

mayorquimby · 12/07/2012 20:27

They're in house training, what the fuck are they going to do?

AlmostAHipster · 12/07/2012 20:31

In most places I've worked, it would have been considered bad form for anyone to question someone leaving due to childcare arrangements!

NowThenWreck · 12/07/2012 20:34

Where I work no WAY would a training course have been sprung on you at the last minute. Fuck THAT.
YANBU, and do not even think of apologising for it.

BackforGood · 12/07/2012 20:35

YANBU, but your manager was for booking you onto something without any notice.
When I do training, I always plan it to finish a good 15mins before the published time, and then it leaves time for those days when there are a lot of extra questions or issues to iron out - it's only common sense, after all, you don't usually get complaints about being allowed to go 10 - 15mins early!
That said, we regularly get people who (knowing it is due to finish at 3.30 or 4, come and tell you they need to go at 2.30 or 3 or whatever, and expect you to say it's fine. IMO, then that's not fine. If your job involves you having to go on training, then you should have notice of the date, and you should make arrangements for that day.
The trainer shouldn't have spoken to you like that in front of everyone, whatever they may have thought.

wherearemysocks · 12/07/2012 20:36

I had to do it recently, the course was due to finish at 2 and it ran way over. I told the trainer I had to leave at 3 at very latest but it still hadn't finished. In my case though i was getting looks of envy as it was the most boring course ever and the only reason it ran over so much was because there were a couple of people asking really stupid questions and coming up with problems of why they wouldn't be able to follow the new policies!

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