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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is this selfish?

10 replies

glittertree · 11/07/2012 09:28

Dilemma not a huge one but its still one to me... I am turning 40 next week and wondered if it would be selfish of me to not have a big party... I have been mulling it over and feel like I would just like to spend it with my daughter sons and granduaghters as they mean the world to me...
The problem being that my family sisters dad etc, will be huffy about me doing this and will probably expect me to organise something free at my house which to me defeats the purpose because i will end up running around and doing all the cooking and cleaning ....
The reason I dont want to invite them is because in the past they have just annoyed me with the way they have behaved at anything I have organised....
My wedding was one they moaned about it and not one of them bought us a gift , and I know thats not the most important thing but I felt a bit hurt given that they wanted to take what was left of my buffet home and wine!
My sister and husband also tried to add on half there bill to ours at my daughters 18th birthday do by pretending they had forgot to pay for a few things at the meal...
Its just stupid niggly things My sister and husband sit bitch and moan about anything I organise especially if they have to pay I always usually try to organise these things at my house and I have had a good few so that they dont have to put there hands in their pockets
but it even gets as petty to the fact my sister and kids will get jealous if I pay more attention to my grandchildren I feel that I cant win no matter what I do....
I think it hurts more because I always make a huge effort to make theirs special....
So do I sit with a stepmum that cant stand me a stepsister that has caused so much trouble in the family and my sister and partner and kids who will just moan no matter what I do......
Should I just face the wrath of having something with my own family and put everyone elses noses out of joint...Bahhhhh families!!!

OP posts:
Noqontrol · 11/07/2012 09:30

Do what you want, its your day, no one elses.

Peggotty · 11/07/2012 09:30

Just do what makes you happy, it's your birthday after all.

Groovee · 11/07/2012 09:30

Do what you want to do and tell everyone quite clearly that it is YOUR day and therefore you will do it your way and how you want to spend it x

Westcountrylovescheese · 11/07/2012 09:31

It's your birthday, do what you want to. It doesn't sound like the other option will make you happy at all!

Treblesallround · 11/07/2012 09:32

Have a nice time with your own family, then suggest to your sister that a nice present would be a big party round at hers so you can just enjoy yourself. If the invitation isn't forthcoming then that's up to them, and no loss to you.

Pseudo341 · 11/07/2012 09:34

YANBU. Have a lovely day with the people who care about you.

LentillyFart · 11/07/2012 09:36

Screw them. Let them organise and pay for a party if they want one that badly. As for you - turning 40 is great and very liberating. Start your new era by telling the whole damned lot of them to fuck off to the very furthest side of fuck. You'll feel so much better for it!

Dropdeadfred · 11/07/2012 09:42

Just do what you like! If they moan about no party say ' oh you mean you haven't arranged one for me??!!' Grin

VodkaJelly · 11/07/2012 09:42

I am 40 in a couple of months and the idea of a party is hell on earth to me. I am looking forward to a lovely meal out with my family (DP and DC's) and being waited on all day by them.

awaynboilyurheid · 11/07/2012 09:45

I didnt have a party for 40th because like you i knew it would be me cleaning organising and just a lot of work, told everyone I was going away with husband and daughters and thats what I did! it was heaven [and sadly a while ago have past another milestone since then!] really do what makes you happy it is your day.

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