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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to have a 3rd?

41 replies

toni76 · 10/07/2012 14:52

Cons: No sleep for a year

  • I prefer older chidren: I find babies incredibly tedious from 3 weeks to 14-ish months
  • My life is getting easier all the time - my youngest is 18 months and my oldest is 4 - they're lovely and get on well
- We'd be outnumbered
  • the cost; altho' we could just about afford it
-I've spent 6 months running etc to get a just about tolerable shape
  • No. 2 took 45 mins to be born - this one would probably have to be a home birth; which I don't want
  • I'm on the coil, and it's a faf to get it out
  • DH leaning towards 3rd but says it's up to me cos I'd have to do all the hard work Hmm
  • work - freelance - would take yet another hit

Pros

  • I can't get it out of my head that I want another. That's it really.

Tell me waht to do?

OP posts:
Memoo · 10/07/2012 14:53

Yes.

blondiep14 · 10/07/2012 14:54

I'm a bit biased, 30 weeks with #3 so I say go for it Wink

Declutterbug · 10/07/2012 14:55

Only you can decide Smile

worriedwretch · 10/07/2012 14:56

35 weeks with number 3 here Grin

dc2 is currently 18 months, im looking forward to them growing up together and enjoying them - you wont regret doing it but you may regret not

Fisharefriendsnotfood · 10/07/2012 14:57

I felt unsure for ages. When I got the positive poas I was may more delighted and sure than I thought I would be. We are the same, dd (4) start school in sept and ds (2.5) so things had gotten easier.

But I'm getting a baby GrinbGrin Grin.

Am 24 weeks today Grin

MrsJamin · 10/07/2012 14:58

YABU. I have no idea why anyone would ever even contemplate having more than 2. I have no broodiness left!

tedmundo · 10/07/2012 14:59

I am 5 wks with no. 3 and any doubts I had about wanting another one are now gone... I soooooo want this one to stick! FX FX FX

Go for it, I say.

(although I do know what you mean about the early stage being a bit dull!)

rainydaysarebad · 10/07/2012 15:03

Could you wait a few more years and then decide?

Dprince · 10/07/2012 15:08

I absolutely do not want 3. I have an 8 year old and a 16 month old. Not so keen on babies myself and the youngest has just started sleeping through. It gets easier all the time and I feel I have the right balance now.
but that's not to say no one should have 3. Just I don't want 3.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 10/07/2012 15:12

So if we all said go for it would you actually take notice.

We cant possibly say, we dont know anything about your life to make such a massive decision, only you and DH know if its the right thing.

You certainly have more cons that pros which should give you a clue!

PoshPaula · 10/07/2012 15:16

There are no logical reasons for having children at all, are there? No guarantees, nothing.

Then you hold your child and smell their hair, and they smile at you, and you know why you had them.

SoleSource · 10/07/2012 15:18

Wait, then see. :) Have a bit of a 'break' first.

BeautifulBlondePineapple · 10/07/2012 15:45

I went for #3 as I'd always had it in my head I wanted 3. Manage to convince DH (not that hard really!).

DC1 is 7, DC2 is 4, DC3 is 1 and it's hard work. Hellish hard work. Esp now that DC3 is walking & pulling everything out of the bin.

Love love love them all, but occasionally think how much easier it would be to just have had 2.

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 10/07/2012 16:02

Get the coil out and leave it up to "mother nature"?

Buttwart · 10/07/2012 16:04

A child's existence depends on the say so of MN?

Sunnydelight · 10/07/2012 16:05

Our third was unplanned, big brothers were 10 and 5 so a major shock to the system in terms of sleepless nights, etc. She is the BEST thing to ever happen to our family and I love having three. Go for it and enjoy!

Threelittleducks · 10/07/2012 16:06

I want three. I really, really do. Much of my pros and Cons are the same as yours.
Also, I had 2 sections, so a 3rd kind of worries me.

But yes, I really do want another.
I just wish someone would do it for me or force my hand so I can make a decision on it.

SandyBottoms · 10/07/2012 16:06

Is that your only pro?

holyfishnets · 10/07/2012 16:07

If your hearts in it, go for it. My third has been a joy to DH, the kids and I and worth all the hard work in the first year.

BarredfromhavingStella · 10/07/2012 17:12

As your cons far outweigh the pros I'd say you've answered your own question.....

Bimbledorf · 10/07/2012 17:25

I felt like you did at when dd2 was 18 months but did nothing about it. 5 years later I STILL wasn't over it, so now here I am 22 weeks pregnant with number 3.

In some ways I wish I had just gone and done it back then, I say the urge will probably never leave you - so just go for it Smile

Bimbledorf · 10/07/2012 17:27

I have to say though for 16 weeks of this pregnancy I have still felt unsure about the decision - but since seeing him/her on the scan and feeling her kicking away I am now truly excited and I am sure we will cope and not look back.

LongGoneBeforeDaylight · 10/07/2012 17:27

Just counting the number of pros and cons doesn't really shed any light on anything as they carry different weight.

PanicMode · 10/07/2012 17:38

I have four and have days when I really, really wish we'd stopped at two. Life would have been SO much easier, and financially we'd have been SO much better off - I'd still have a career rather than a job for example.

However, I look at the four of them together and know that however much hard work it is, and however 'poor' we'll be (when/if they all go to university!), our lives are so much richer for their existence and it's a privilege to have such wonderful people in my life.

But don't make the decision lightly - and we can't make it for you!

akaemmafrost · 10/07/2012 17:43

If I could I would.

But I can't because I am a lone parent and one of my dc has SN.

I still want another though Sad.