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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think that taking care of a home is seen as lowly, dull and a waste of time?

41 replies

lowfatiscrap12 · 10/07/2012 14:25

I'm not talking about the wohm vs sahm thing before anyone jumps in!
Do you think it's become fashionable to slate anyone who likes keeping their house clean, cooking, baking, sewing, gardening etc? That it's seen as the lowest form of work? I'm on another forum and someone just posted a link to an American blog where a Mother (who works outside the home too) posts recipes and writes down what she's done around the house that day and what her and her dh's routine consists of when she's not at work. The person who posted the link said : 'what an empty life, who has the time to make cupcakes?'
Now I'm not a great cook and I've not got the cleanest or tidiest home, but I don't have a problem if someone is house proud or likes to bake. Why would I?
Surely we all need to eat? We all like a clean kitchen, an empty dishwasher and not to have to wipe 3 inches of dust off the telly before switching it on? And we all have to do it. Even those lucky enough to have cleaner... unless the cleaner is coming in daily, we still need to stick our marigolds on and get stuck in from time to time? Where's the harm in being houseproud?

OP posts:
MissFaversam · 10/07/2012 14:28

Well I've made cakes (from a packet) now and again. I'm also rather OCD houseproud. If my house is a mess I can't function properly, if you know what I mean. I love being organised.

So she can sod right off ay OP Grin

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 10/07/2012 14:29

I didnt know there was any harm in being houseproud, I dont think I've ever seen anything along those lines.

Its a case of self respect..I'm not a slave to my house, but I dont want to live in a pig sty either.

lowfatiscrap12 · 10/07/2012 14:30

yes I agree. It's that snooty 'I am above all that domestic drudgery' attitude which irritates me. The suggestion that only a dullard could possibly enjoy making a pleasant home.

OP posts:
Cuddler · 10/07/2012 14:34

Theres a similar thing where you hear women say proudly "i cant cook!" as if its so faminist of them.Whats wrong with wanting to live in nice surroundings-and eat nice cakes!?

Cuddler · 10/07/2012 14:34

feminist obviously!

Dprince · 10/07/2012 14:35

I have never picked up on that feeling. Some people find baking, cooking, housework boring.
My mum loves it. She absolutely loves hoovering. I however hate all of the above. I am lucky as dh is a chef and cooks all our meals at home. I do bake, but that's because the kids like to and it keeps them busy. I do housework but hate it and dh does his share. Because I like a tidy and clean home.
different people enjoy different things. I have never thought about it being 'looked down on.'

VisuallyChallengedFiend · 10/07/2012 14:36

I don't know, I think it's become quite fashionable - all the cosy Cath Kidston style stuff.

If it is looked down upon, I suppose it's because it's not seen as being economically valuable or needing a high level of skill/education/intellect, but then you could say the same for most hobbies/things people enjoy

GnocchiNineDoors · 10/07/2012 14:37

My sil does grip my shit with her endless "a womans work is never done"...."making.x y and z for my dh from scratch, what a good wife".

Makes me stabby.

She is on maternity leave and always complaining that her dd needs her attention all the time and she cant get amything done - so dont do it. Its maternity leave not housekeepn

GnocchiNineDoors · 10/07/2012 14:37

...leave. before you know it your dd will be all grown up.

Buttwart · 10/07/2012 14:38

I feel like I achieve more with my day if I bake / sew / clean / tidy etc etc.

I take pride in it! I've never thought of it as something to look down on tbh.

Callisto · 10/07/2012 14:40

I would say that the person who wrote 'what an empty life, who has the time to make cupcakes?' has a screaming case of jealousy for this woman (who sounds amazing if she has the energy to work, clean, bake and write a blog). Why on earth else would they comment so negatively?

I think it is quite fashionable these days to bake, craft and garden. I'm not so sure about housework which I think is the most loathesome drudgery, but I have nothing against people who have lovely tidy and clean houses. Personally, I would far rather live in a tidy and clean house but it isn't a priority when there is other stuff that needs to be done.

MarysBeard · 10/07/2012 14:41

I like baking, I don't like cleaning much though there can be a certain satisfaction in having finished it! Some times I like sewing - up to a point anyway (no pun intended).

I think being reasonably organised and tidy, and not living in abject filth is a good idea as it makes life easier. But there is no moral highground in being OTT about it, if you like that sort if thing, fine, if not, don't do so much of it.

MarysBeard · 10/07/2012 14:43

I would say that the person who wrote 'what an empty life, who has the time to make cupcakes?' has a screaming case of jealousy for this woman (who sounds amazing if she has the energy to work, clean, bake and write a blog). Why on earth else would they comment so negatively?

The correct response would be: I find time to bake as I spend no time whatsoever making snarky comments on other peoples' blogs.

LadyWidmerpool · 10/07/2012 14:53

Baking and 'crafting' is soooooooo fashionable it's untrue.

elizaregina · 10/07/2012 16:06

I think good ole' Cherry Menlove has shown how complicated and neccasry it is to be " homemaker".

PenisVanLesbian · 10/07/2012 16:15

Some people enjoy it, some people don't. Most people fall somewhere in the middle.

Who could possibly give a fuck?

WorraLiberty · 10/07/2012 16:17

Well to be honest, I can think of more interesting things to blog about.

I'd rather shit in my hands and clap than read about what some random housewife does/doesn't do with her days.

Debeezandbirds · 10/07/2012 16:52

I suppose it's not exciting to read about others doing these things, but I have just baked DP a birthday cake. I had tears in my eyes when it turned out ok. I am not a natural homemaker and I'm currently a SAHM for the first time in my life, every little thing feels like an achievement at the moment.

Ormiriathomimus · 10/07/2012 16:54

It is dull! IMO. However as I dislike living in a shit pit it has to be done. Doesn't stop it being dull though.

But I quite like cooking. That isn't dull.

sanguinechompa · 10/07/2012 17:00

I agree with you Lowfatiscrap I do find housework boring but I also dream of a nice, clean, organised home so I try and find satisfaction in it. A Fly thread on here has really helped and made it less isolating. And so has this book "Housework Blues - A Survival Guide: How to Cope with the Mental and Emotional Challenge of Keeping a Home by Danielle Raine."

There was a discussion about this on R4 this morning as it happens. They interviewed three cleaners in N.England who found genuine satisfaction in their jobs. Even top bankers/captains of industry need clean plates, clothes, and sheets once in a while. It's essential and important work. And it's not recognised as such.

sanguinechompa · 10/07/2012 17:04

[hasty back-track]

not that being a top banker or captain of industry is the be all and end all of course

just meant that however high flying a career you have - the essentials still need doing either by yourself or someone else.

Sassybeast · 10/07/2012 17:12

There is nothing wrong with being houseproud.
There is something very sad about taking pictures of your house and blogging about them.

lovebunny · 10/07/2012 18:39

i don't get much spare time - its work, commute, sleep. i wish i had more time to spend on the house. i'd love to be that woman with a sparkling home, who is able to make cupcakes and whose lunches for the week are already in the fridge on sunday night. oh yes, the houseproud have my admiration and envy.

Bonsoir · 10/07/2012 18:43

I don't find cooking dull at all - it's very relaxing and creative. But ironing... OMG...

LibrarianByDay · 12/07/2012 00:02

I love making cupcakes, making jam, gardening, etc. It's not work though is it. I mean, why shouldn't someone think it is dull if it something they don't enjoy? I think trainspotting is dull.

Unless, of course, this is really a WOHM v SAHM thread in disguise. Wink