Not to tell MIL I'm pregnant?

[lollipoppi]

How long do you think I can get away with it.... 7/8/9 months?? :-)
We had a mc in march and MIL found out through DP, whilst I wasn't expecting sympathy, I certainly wasn't expecting for her to storm round to my house (whilst I was still going through mc) and yell at me about how stupid we are to even consider having another baby yet!!?? WTF?? "it's a blessing in disguise" apparently! I was too shocked and upset to say anything back at the time but I still want to rip her head off everytime I think about it!
We own a small successful business, own our house, were not well off but who the hell is ?

I'm 12 weeks now and while we should be excited were dreading telling her as she will just put a dampener on everything.
I just don't know how to handle her snide comments when we tell her, smile and nod? I'm not very quick with whitty comebacks, I know I will either just burst into tears or walk out the house!
Help!!!!

Just a thought, is she likely to find out from other family members? I imagine, from what you describe, that she might be the type to play the martyr if she finds out second-hand.

It might be easier just to let her know via phone/text and then call her on any comments she makes.

She was out of order, though how was she to know you were still mc.

Your Dh told her too soon about mc.

Just tell her and get it over with.

Then get on with enjoying your pregnancy :)

Bertha brilliant!!
Thank you, we are going to have to tell her soon as I feel like I can't tell anybody else incase she finds out through them, which i think will only make the situation worse.

I don't like the woman, but she is my MIL and although she has BIG faults I have to bite my tongue and accept she is part of my life, I love my FIL and he adores my DS

She has lost so much family by opening her big mouth before engaging her brain.

We have our scan on Thursday (eeeekkkkkk) so I think maybe get it over and done with after that.
DP is very supportive and has suggested he tells her on his own, but in a weird way I kind if want to be there to stick up for myself (and bitch slap her if she says anything)

Has she apologised for her behaviour last time round?

My mother was similar, she was much more sympathetic to my m/c but assumed it was an accident (she thought DS was too, because he was born less than 3 months before our wedding, he wasn't, he was beautifully timed ;)) She kept telling me how it was too soon to have another baby and perhaps it was for the best. I fell pregnant again 2 weeks after losing that one (which I was very happy about), and I told her at 8 weeks. When I told her, her reaction was an accusing "and how do you feel about that?" I was still really fragile post m/c and coming to terms with a new pregnancy, so it really bit. I was so upset I couldn't bring myself to tell my DB and SIL (I was visiting for Christmas and wanted to use the rare chance to announce it face-to face) after my mum's reaction I didn't think I could say it without bursting into tears.
I would leave it for as long as you feel you need to, even if that is up to the due date! I like the idea of DH announcing it as brilliant news, or you could announce it at a family get together when her reaction would be masked by everyone else's (thinking back I recall that my mother sat in shocked silence with a cat's bum mouth when I told them about DS, but my DF was so extremely and vociferously pleased that I barely registered her). Or just wait until she notices and then shrug and tell her you didn't think she would be interested.

Definitely tell her together - "united we stand" and all that!

Dontmind - no it has never been mentioned since!

Don't tell her until you're ready.

lollipoppi can I be your MIL, promise no nastiness from me and I will be a doting granny. Take care, hope all goes well with your pregnancy.

Canuck - your hired

How awful. What maeks people think they can be so rude to others.

Defintiely stand up for yourself if she says anything negative.

upset not accept !

congratulations!

don't tell if you don't want to. she'll notice eventually.

take a firm line. if she's harsh with you, tell her and ask her why she's being unpleasant. tell her if she wants to see you, she has to be nice.

She was interfering and rude.

People can be weird about (i) small age gaps (ii) m/c and (iii) ttc/pregnancy not long after m/c and unfortunately share their opinions! I had similar from my family in a similar situation, lots of insensitive comments, "you're not coping" etc.

In-laws, not normally great, were weirdly tactful and helpful through pregnancy problems.

agree that your Dh needs to sort her out, privately, and think his idea of telling her alone is a good one, she can say stupid things, he can tell her not to say them again or in front of you.