I want to throttle my work colleague

[therealmrsk]

I can not bear it any longer. The incessant tap tap tap tap tap, ping, ping ping. We are here to work mumsnet AIBU to ask her to put her mobile in her bag bin?

Tell her there's an app she can download called "Shut the fuck up before I shit on your liver".

I'm not sure there is such an app by the way, but it'll keep her busy looking for it.....

We have a loud sneezer in our office and every time I hear it I want to maim and kill.

Mmmm, are you really in a position to moan when you are mumsnetting??

Cheers worra - another half cup of coffee all over everything!

you could ask her to turn the tap tap click click ping ping noises off couldn't you? They are optional settings aren't they?

Lentilly

worra PMSL thanks for that, it has taken the edge off my anger!!!

betty but mumsnet is allowed at work isn't it????

She never puts it down! How can she get any work done? Seriously, she has it glued to her head.

Just ask her to put it on silent at work! It should be anyway.

YANBU. We have a fiddler, tapper, jigger, squeaker (chair, everyone else can use that chair without the bloody racket), sniffer, cruncher person who I want to kill on a daily basis.

Most days I can just about tolerate it, but not today

I can deal with the constant sniffing, throat clearing and farting - yes she farts and we all then pretend nothing happened. Obviously I find this hilarious and have to leave the room immediately!

I am now obsessed with her pings. There have been 142 pings since my previous post. 142

Tell her to turn the sounds off because its annoying you, I work with crunchers, boiled sweet banging against the teeth types, singers, chewing gum poppers and slurpers.

It makes me want to fucking explode, but I do tell them, everyfuckingtime.

Oh God I have worked with a noisy sneezer. EPIC sneezes. For a while we were at the client's site and they had a building with a rather oddly shaped roof which meant the noise seemed to echo all the way round the building. I always imagined people on the other side of the room diving for cover whenever they heard this explosion.

Annoying! I'd put my iPod on with music to drown them out, unless you are answering phones and need to hear whats going on.

UGH! There is a keyboard basher and a crisp muncher in my officce - drives me insane and 90% of the working day we aren't in our office. To spend all day in an office with an excess noise maker would...I really don't want to imagine!
Definitely ask her to turn the pings off! I am so close to saying something the keyboard basher but it isn't like he can suddenly learn to touch type...so hopefully I won't!

We have a sniffer. The gathering-something-up-from-the-depths-of-your-soul type. Shudder. I have invested in noise cancelling headphones.

Well, you're not really in a position to speak are you? But if, say, you were working and someone was on their phone all the time, surely it would be reasonable to say, "Are you still on that phone? Aren't you doing any work today?"

Do you share work? If she falls behind, will you have to do some of it?

I would tell her to put it in silent
I'd also call her up about her farting

Phew, not about me I hope

AAAArgghhh its the tapping with fingernails on the phone, its hardly noticeable except I'm now highly tuned in to it, obsessively. I'm going to ask her how she manages to text with such lovely long plastic nails FFS. I've got the rage again...

btw I'm on my lunch hour

Can I moan about loud fucking typers on trains? In quiet carriages.

They TAP TAP TAP DE FUCKING TAP really loudly, like they are hammering they keys in a 1960s typing pool.

But you can't complain at a loud typer in a quiet carriage can you?

You can, GetOrf. You can and you must. It is your civic duty.