to think that how a person reacts to having their infidelity exposed...

[dogearedtooth]

...could tell you more about them than you want to know?

Is there a typical Narc way of reacting to being found out?

Or do all cheaters lie compulsively?

I'm ashamed to admit I cheated on a couple of girls as a teenager.

The first one I lied to. When it all came out apparently it wasn't the fact that I'd done it but that I'd lied to her.

So, the second one I owned up to straight away. It didn't matter that I hadn't lied to her, it was the fact that I'd done it.

The first time, he lied - said it was only fantasy, he hadn't actually done anything. I believed him.

The second time he ignored me, refused to communicate at all (lay in bed all day) and then had a go at me for checking up on him. He did finally admit it, apologise profusely, and in the end I forgave him.

The third time I didn't ask, I was icy calm, told him I knew what he'd done and I wanted him to leave. He tried to act like he had no idea what I was talking about, I told him to stop being silly and pack a bag. He did, he hasn't apologised or attempted to explain and he hasn't asked me to try again.

I still feel very sad about the whole thing (it was very recent), but I just have to keep reminding myself what a lying, cheating, self-centred bastard he is.