to confess

[StaterForTen]

that, if I could guarantee not being judged I'd have:

-had an ELCS at a posh private hospital
-FF DS from the start
-Hired a night nanny when I was really fucking tired

I did the opposite of all these things. Why? Not because I wanted to experience the massive endorphin rush (ahem) that is labour, give my child the best nutritional start in life and encourage bonding. No, I did it because I felt like it was what I was 'supposed' to do, because all my friends were doing it and I was too much of a sap to say actually fuck off, I'll do it my way.

Maybe if you'd had 1 and 3 then 2 might have felt easier. I'm not starting a feeding debate. Birth options are down to the individual -parenting is important and I say fuck off to the natural birth activists.

I totally agree. If I had my time again, I would:

• have caesarians
• not breast feed for as long as I did
• save up to get some help in the early days.

I think particularly the first one. Sex has been ruined for me by the fact that I can't feel anything. However, every time I mention that I am considering vaginoplasty to, erm, tighten things up, I get accused of 'doing it for a man' or 'putting the feminist movement back 30 years'.

Why do women believe that other women are not entitled to a fulfilling sex life?

After an excruciating, failure to progress 2 day labour and an emcs, I am with you on the elcs and will be fighting tooth-and-nail for one.

I ff DD from day one and will do that again with any other children.

And, god, yes, if we could afford a night nanny I'd have one.

I do agree that you get judged on some of these decisions and its not always that easy to ignore it. Some other mums are ridiculously competitive, you go to baby groups when the babies are very young and everyone is sharing birth stories, there are always smug mums who had an easy natural birth and go on and on and on about how 'easy' and 'wonderful' it was, making you feel shit if you didn't manage it. Ditto ff - its probably just the area I lived in, but when I went to these NHS classes when all the babies were very young and got out a bottle and carton to feed DD, it led to a lot of "aren't you breast-feeding?!" conversations. I was polite at first but eventually snapped and had a mild rant about how DD had been poorly in NICU and needed to eat to get better and ff ended up being the best way forward.

So YANBU.

Gemma - that's absurd don't listen to them and get it do e

Thanks Scarredbutnotbroken. The surgery is planned for October. I can report back, if you like

I'd hire a night nanny in a heartbeat.

There is a sleep trainer near here who says the will gently solve sleep problems in 3-5 nights. At $250 a night. I regularly stare longingly at her web page

1. Had ELCS - but not privately - probaly would have settled for a private room
2. I FF both - it wasn't until I came onto MN that I found out that BF should have been my only aim in terms of parenting
3. I also had a night nanny a couple of times but should have done it more often*

• Neither DS slept for 4 hours uninterrupted until they were 3.