to stop reminding DCs about EVERYTHING?

[fedupandunhappy]

I am so fed up.

DS1 is soon to be sitting the 11+. He seems (to me) to be nowhere near it but school say he should definitely go for it.

DCs (age 7 and 9 1/2) play an instrument each and I would like them to practice their times tables regularly too as they do not know them off by heart.

And they have homework from school once a week (eg DC2 reading book and spellings, DC1 a page of maths, a page of english and spellings).

So not a huge amount.

But NOTHING gets done unless I remind nag EVERY BLOODY DAY.

I am utterly fed up with it all. DH and I had an argument tonight over the whole thing, he thinks I should lay off, I think if I do they won't ever practice or do any of it (this partly because I think they are quite young and unable to self regulate and also will always find something more "interesting" to do instead).

Feel like giving up.

AIBU to feel like this?

Why do they only have homework once a week? They should be doing at least 30 minutes to an hour of homework every night of they week.

YANBU to feel fed up with always nagging. I'm fed up with it too, think it's at its height now because it's been a long school year and everyone is tired. I have to nag 2 DDs to get dressed in the morning let alone do homework, practice the piano, do their reading books. I do lay off about the piano because it really puts them off and instead I just want them to enjoy it, which they do when left to their own devices. I try to make the homework and reading/words/spelling as fun as possible which often works but we're all busy and sometimes they have to understand that they just have to do stuff. nagging goes with the territory and in my house it falls down to me rather than DH.

novack I don't think it's much either, I keep telling DC1 that when he goes to secondary school (grammar or not) his homework will increase hugely.

goofy "sometimes they have to understand that they just have to do stuff."
I wish!!

Sit down with them and make a chart together with each day of the week and what they have to do each day then tell them it's up to them when in the day they do it (obviously before bedtime!) and then pocket money (or some such reward) depends on it being done each day. You could deduct money etc for each day it's not done. Maybe that will give them the responsibility and the incentive to do it.

I sympathise though-my DS is sitting the 11+ this year too...

What I ended up doing was saying,right,this lot needs to be done.
When is the best time for you to do it.
morning,,afternoon,evening.
weekends,all in one evening whatever.
I discovered that while I am a morning person,the kids wanted to do it in the evening etc.
So when it came to the time they had chosen,they had to do it then.

Did the chart a while ago...think they stopped looking at it.

And I refuse to pay them, we'd be broke (have 3 DCs)!

RRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

sorry

I feel for you op. I have a teenager and it is murder getting her to do anything.
I had a battle a year ago when she wanted to give up playing the piano and doing grades, in the end I compromised with giving up the grades but her playing the piano, choosing her own pieces. Hence, giving up the stress of getting her to practice for the exams. In essence, the preparation cannot be rushed in the week before the exam and so it led to conflict. My dh said not to nag her but I knew all it would take would be a failure and then she would give up.
I think you need to pick your battles in the future, if only to save your nerves. Theres so much to argue about.
I think it is important to teach children life skills of how to manage tidying their room and doing their work at a certain time. Maybe a homework routine.
Any chance of doing piano practice before school?
Good luck

tropical Ideally, they both do piano and times tables in the morning and evening (only 3 lots of tt each for now).

Maybe it was Sunday evening / end of term meltdown...

Oh well, buggered up that name change...

I have just started reading "Calmer, Easier, Happier Parenting" by Noel [I can't remember her surname] to try to address exactly this issue.

She starts by saying you need to start with "descriptive praise" - making a point of describing the good things your child has done (or even, the absence of bad) so that they know exactly what it is that they are doing right or that pleases you.

She suggests that you do this for 2-4 weeks, so that is as far as I've got. although I'm going to continue reading so at least I know what the next steps are

I'll let you know how it goes!