To not want this nutcase near my kids

[justwanderingalong]

My ex Husband's DP quite frankly is a bit unhinged and I do not want her anywhere near my DC.

She lied to my ex Husband about everything about herself (name, job, where she lived) and also made up some other disturbing stories. She only revealed the truth when he was forced to confront her. So far this is none of my business but he has openly told me and anybody else that would listen about the lies. Until recently he has promised me that he would keep her away from our DC but now I have reason to believe that he plans to involve her with them.

Initially his family backed me up but now they are even being cagey about her and the DC and have basically told me that when the DC are with them I have no control over who is around the DC.

This has resulted in an argument with them as the say I am being unreasonable about putting my ex in a difficult situation for no reason.

So AIBU.

YANBU but on dodgy ground legally. If your ex is deemed fit to have access, then he is the one who gets to choose who they spend time with while with them. I know, I tried this.

How long has she been with your exP?

Did you find out why she lied?

For the record, I agree with your ex's family.

If your ex feels the kids aren't in any sort of danger, why wouldn't he involve them?

Sorry, ExH (not exP) and how much contact does he have with the dc?

Maybe she made a silly mistake but has now proved her worth with the ex's family?

Yabu

and your ex H is still with her?
he accepts the lies?

what contact does he presenlty have?

Could it be through contact centre or supervised if you have proof that ex -h p is dangerous?

Have you met his gf? If not, maybe you could ask to meet her and see for yourself what she's like

. Have you asked your exH why she lied?

What threat do you think she is to your children?
What harm do you envisage?

It's hard to keep your children from your ex's partner.

The lies may show a confused person but not necessarily someone who would cause your children distress.

My ex wasnt allowed to involve his partner. There wasnt any danger to my child i just wanted contact to b between my DD and her dad as they didnt have a relationship.

Have you met the other woman? Do you know what she would be like with your DC?

YABU to use the word 'nutcase'.

YANBU to be anxious about who spends time with your children.

You can ask your solicitor to inform his solicitor to agree for the children to not yet meet the new partner ( usually because the children won't be emotionally ready) and if all in agreement then hunky dory. But if the ex decides to ignore that and introduces them, then there's bugger all you can do about it after the event.

But he has already done as you asked..... He has kept them apart. Now he decides it's time they met

Did you specify a timescale when you asked him to wait before introducing her?

its a hard one because you have to work out if she is a actual risk or if shes just a lying cow. sadly if shes just a lying cow there is nothing you can do about it as it is up to him who he includes in there life when they are with him just as its up to you who you include in there life when they are with you.
if she is a actual risk then you can stop it but the differculity is he is under no obligation to allow you to asses her.and she is under no obligation to present herself for assesment.
if the suituation were to be reversed you would probally be very cross so you YABU but i compleatly understand why and lots of people woulf feel the same way

Have you tried putting her name(s) in google................................possibly adding a town if used to live away..............not that I've ever done that about anyone I ever came across that has raised suspicions........

it has only been an hour since you posted OP.. any chance of a reply...

And what about your own dp? Hardly an example of saintly behaviour is he? And you have moved him in with your dc..... Imagine how your ex must feel?

Do you know the OP then Katherine?

Have been on threads where op has been very open about her dp. She had a mil thread this week also, so remember her from that too

lol burn