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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off at my cousin offering me weaning advice?

20 replies

showtunesgirl · 08/07/2012 20:11

We went out for a lovely family outing yesterday for Chinese and BLW 7.5 m/o DD had her first taste of dim sum. She had a bit of a nibble of some dumplings just for taste. I posted some pics on FB and my cousin has come back at me having a go saying: I hope you know that dim sum is full of fat/sugar/salt and prawns can cause allergies.

Now I KNOW my nutritional info and a lick of a dumpling is not going to do her much harm and as there are no known allergies on either side of the family, I judged it to be ok for her to try it. Anyway, how are you going to know if they are allergic if they never try it?

I'm just pissed off as I have never offered him unwanted advice about what to do with is 11 m/o DS and there is plenty I COULD say but do not as it's up to him how to bring up his kid.

Now I feel as though my very lovely memories of yesterday have been spoiled by his judgy comments.

Humph.

OP posts:
tryingtonotfeckup · 08/07/2012 20:17

YANBU, just wait for a little while when your DD is eating everything under the sun and his DS is refusing to eat anything apart from crisps and chips. At that point, remember his wise words and smile.

Dprince · 08/07/2012 20:17

He sounds like a dick. However, stop posting stuff on Facebook if you don't want people to comment. Simple really.
If you are that sensitive that his comments ruined yesterday for you, may e you should limit who can view what on your Facebook. There is no rule about what people can post.
Also he may have thought you genuinely didn't know. My sil has just bought some lavender for a nice bath and is 6 weeks pg. I told her its not recommended and that raspberry leaf tea shouldn't be drank yet either. She genuinely didn't realise. She was grateful.

parakeet · 08/07/2012 20:17

Maybe he was saying it tongue in cheek?

Just ignore. It will annoy him and you'll take the moral high ground.

Original poster
showtunesgirl · 08/07/2012 20:21

Well we post because we live on opposite sides of the world and it's a nice way to see what our kids are up to.

Nah, my cousin knows me well enough to know that I know my nutritional stuff. In fact, I am so naice and MC that my DD is a River Cottage BLW type of girl.

I'm afraid I am horrible, low and petty and posted back: She only had a taste and also seafood is absolutely fine if there is no known allergies in either family. In fact to restrict their experiences now will create a fussy eater later.

I am pretty sure they are doing purees so heavens knows how this will go down.

I am a bad person. Blush

OP posts:
Flisspaps · 08/07/2012 20:24

Just to pick up on one point, I'm not sure that what or how babies eat when weaned has any bearing on whether or not you actually end up with a fussy eater

whenyouseeitwaveorcheer · 08/07/2012 20:27

"In fact to restrict their experiences now will create a fussy eater later."

Is toot.

But your cousin was being annoying.

But does it matter?? What were you expecting by posting a pic of your baby licking a dim sum? Honestly? A big pat on the back for BLW? Snooooore.

Just...post less stuff?

Original poster
showtunesgirl · 08/07/2012 20:28

Evidence suggests that it can create fussy eaters and to be honest, a lot of this is based on how I was as a child. I was a horrible, horrible picky eater and used food refusal as a means of control and I was definitely aggressively spoon fed by my mother. I really don't want to inflict a mini version of myself on me!

OP posts:
charitygirl · 08/07/2012 20:32

Ok, I'm a BLW-er too and I think you are coming across a little badly now. But the main thing is - if you know you're doing the right thing, don't let throwaway comments on FB get to you so much!

whenyouseeitwaveorcheer · 08/07/2012 20:33

"In fact to restrict their experiences now will create a fussy eater later."

"Evidence suggests that it can create fussy eaters"

Do you understand the difference between these two statements?

whenyouseeitwaveorcheer · 08/07/2012 20:35

I have no axe to grind re: BLW, btw.

I weaned one on a mixture of purees and finger food and the other fed herself solid food from 6 months and refused to be fed by anyone else, or to touch purees.

There is no difference in their 'fussines' when it comes to food. None.

Original poster
showtunesgirl · 08/07/2012 20:35

I posted it cause some of the earliest pics of me as a kid were of the same thing and my parents who are far away will love it.

Sorry if I'm coming across badly, I'm just annoyed as we are usually very supportive of each other.

OP posts:
whenyouseeitwaveorcheer · 08/07/2012 20:37

You came across ok in you OP - it would annoy me too if someone made a public comment about how I was feeding my child.

But your subsequent post comes across as though you are doing it 'right' and they are doing it 'wrong' so how dare they criticise you.

SugarBatty · 08/07/2012 20:43

I think a lot of people would see a pic of a baby eating prawns and worry! There is lots of panic around pregnancy and babies and shellfish in case of food poisoning I think. Not everyone knows enough about and has the confidence to embrace baby led weaning! It might have been a genuine comment? Where I live its not promoted by the health visitors and no other mums I know seem to do it.
Are you friends on facebook with your relative to stay in touch or to compare parenting styles?

I'd have just ignored the comment its not that much of a big deal really. If your happy with the things you feed your baby who cares what anyone else thinks.

Original poster
showtunesgirl · 08/07/2012 20:44

Sorry, what I meant to say was that I am doing what I believe to be the right thing for me to do and each to his own.

My issue here is that the advice from him was unsolicited.

I don't doubt that he is a wonderful father but he does his own thing and I do mine as well and I just wish he would respect that.

OP posts:
Original poster
showtunesgirl · 08/07/2012 20:45

Doh, what an idiot, I just remembered, the dim sum she is eating in pic didn't even have prawns in it! Blush

OP posts:
DunkyWhorey · 08/07/2012 20:52

Your cousin was being a gobshite.

And now you are.

It probably runs in the family.

As does fussy eating.

So, all the best with that. Wait till she's around 2. Then come back.

HTH x

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 08/07/2012 21:07

If this cousin lives on the other side of the world, maybe they are given different advice over there?

YABU to be annoyed. You invited comments by putting a picture on fb, and I'm sure that I'd your cousin is usually supportive then the comment will have come out of genuine concern.

And what make you think that their baby's experiences would be restricted because they are using pureees? Your way is only the right way for you, it's not neccesarily right for every baby all over the world.

quoteunquote · 08/07/2012 21:34

I hope you cousin is going to let all the millions of chinese mothers know this important information.

KateSpade · 08/07/2012 21:34

YANBU & FWIW I always do the same as you with giving my 9MO a lick of everything.

She likes chocolate but hates Chips.

FriedSprout · 08/07/2012 21:38

Could he not have been teasing you a bit, esp as he knows you are food aware?

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