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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to cook dinner?

15 replies

AugustMoon · 08/07/2012 18:54

I'm 35 wks pg, got appalling heartburn and terrible headache. Been watching the tennis and now I have to make dinner but I just can't bf arsed and want to cry.
Was at Ikea earlier and DH called me a 'selfish bitch' because I wanted to buy a feather pillow and he says he's allergic even though have a feather duvet and I've never seen any evidence of an allergy but he insists a doctor told him he's allergic - although that must have been at least 20 years ago - and it aggravates his asthma. I think it may be more that he was in a bad mood and the one I wanted cost more than the one he chose. He would deny this.
The kids are hungry, we always have a big Sunday dinner about now and DH went out and bought steak yesterday and has been making a mess working in the garden all afternoon so I should cook. I just really don't want to. I'm not even hungry, feel slightly sick. AIBU to just make something for the kids and forget about dinner for him us?

OP posts:
CurrySpice · 08/07/2012 18:55

Gosh. I feel like I've stumbled right into the middle of a row!!

Original poster
AugustMoon · 08/07/2012 18:57

Ha, no, not a row. He's outside. Haven't even spoken to him about it.

OP posts:
peeriebear · 08/07/2012 19:05

Give the kids a sandwich or beans on toast. Stuff him, you're not hungry and you're upset because he has upset you.

Inadeeptrance · 08/07/2012 19:06

You're 35 weeks pg, and he called you a selfish bitch because you wanted to buy a pillow?! Angry

OP that's really not normal, and if it is, you have bigger problems than tonight's dinner.

Is he normally nasty to you? He should be protecting and loving you, not insulting you and making you cry. You are carrying his child ffs!!

Original poster
AugustMoon · 08/07/2012 19:18

Well, yeah. He called me a selfish bitch because I chose a feather pillow and then probably offended him by implying that his allergy was nonsense. I said, 'I sleep with a feather pillow now and we've tried synthetic and it didn't make any difference to your snoring, you snore regardless' and he said it's not about the snoring, it aggravates his asthma which I said was nonsense - honestly, I've never seen him suffer as a result of MY pillow. Which was when he said that's because I'm a selfish bitch. I said 'what's wrong with you, calling me selfish because I like a feather pillow?' and he said again 'not just selfish, a selfish bitch'
Cue me crying through the checkout and all the way home. My darling boys asking 'what's the matter mum?'

OP posts:
JeezyPeeps · 08/07/2012 19:19

I'm asthmatic and allergic to feathers.

It's seriously unpleasant.

However - for some reason the duck down sleeping bag doesn't trigger it, but pillows do. I think it's because it's better made and the 'essence of feather' doesn't get through the fabric. Maybe it's the same?

I guess it's difficult for someone without asthma to know how scary it is to struggle to breathe, and not take it too seriously - but I totally get where your oh is coming from too.

scuzy · 08/07/2012 19:20

does he or does he not have asthma?

Original poster
AugustMoon · 08/07/2012 19:20

Oh and I put the pillow back. I'm also upset that I now don't have a new pillow and I actually really need one.

OP posts:
JeezyPeeps · 08/07/2012 19:20

Cross post - he was bein unreasonable making such a big deal of it.

scuzy · 08/07/2012 19:20

agree Jeezypeeps.

Original poster
AugustMoon · 08/07/2012 19:24

He has asthma. We have a duck down duvet and my favourite feather pillow that is in a padded cover. I always make sure he has synthetic pillows and he's never complained before. Was a bit of a shock.

OP posts:
scuzy · 08/07/2012 19:29

sounds like a stressful day for ye all. feed the kids something quick and easy. the streaks can keep for tomorrow. but dont drag on the argument. sort it before bed. he shouldnt have called you that. but i feel bad for men at times when we are heavily pregnant we get away with letting off steam and it is to be excused. men have to just put up or shut up. he better apologise but without knowing your tone either perhaps you fueled it also. draw a line under the day and cuddle on couch.

Gettheetoanunnery · 08/07/2012 19:35

Let everyone have cereal for tea, one night won't do any harm!
But then I would always agree with a heavily pregnant woman, it's far to dangerous not to!

Put your feet up and relax OP

Krumbum · 08/07/2012 19:37

Why can't he make dinner? If you don't want it don't make it. He can make something for the kids and himself if he wants.

Inadeeptrance · 08/07/2012 20:31

Even if he was allergic, which it sounds as if he isn't, calling you a selfish bitch is way out of order! If my DH ever insulted me like that, I would be having strong words! He would never do that though, he loves me and would never insult me, even if we fall out.

My abusive ex did though. Note he is now an ex.

I hope you feel ok now OP.

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