to find this a bit odd?

[Kveta]

DD is 3 weeks old. she is the absolute double of DS at that age.

When he was wee, people would always comment on a what a little boy he was, how masculine his face was, how you couldn't mistake him for a girl etc etc. I tended to dress him in blue if it was to hand, but he had a lot of white, red, stripy clothes too.

Now DD is getting the same comments, except they are all 'ooh, what delicate features she has', obviously a girl, what a feminine face! She is also dressed in fairly neutral clothes, some blue, some red, some pink, depends what she hasn't chucked on that day.

So why do people do this? Both babies, IMO look like babies, and you can't tell from first glance what sex they are. But even my parents, who keep saying how she's the double of DS, have been saying what a little girl she is

is it just politeness because there isn't much you can say about a newborn?

Just summat to say isn't it? I too agree that even up to about seven or eight there isn't much physical difference facially between boys and girls which is why I am against little boys having long hair.

Probably. DS is the spit of DD, but people say he looks like a 'proper little boy'

I think if they didn't know he was a boy, they wouldn't be able to say his face has masculine features, but because they do know he's a boy they mentally apply masculine attributes to him IYSWIM?

fgs people have to say something nice and positive about a newborn out of poiteness. You're overthinking this.

They are being polite. No one can tell what sex a baby is without pink/blue clues.

I'm sure you would be offended if someone said "ooo what an adrogynous baby"

*androgynous

Of course I am overthinking. Just not something I would say about a baby so find it weird!

Ah but you will Kveta

It comes to all of us eventually, saying completely inane things!

After reading one too many furious AIBUs, I'm now so paranoid about saying anything to the parent of a small baby, that, 'Oh, isn't she a pretty little girl/handsome wee chap' seems just about the only safe option. And if the clothes weren't enough of a clue, I'd have to stick with, 'What a lovely baby!'

It's politeness and not having much to say about a baby, but it's also the start of the constant tirade of gender-based comments. "Oh look, he likes wheels, he's such a boy", "Oh she's so delicate and girly" etc etc. Drives me mad! It's been shown that people do more rough play with babies if they think the baby's a boy, and are more gentle if they think it's a girl.

One midwife told me DD was obviously very intelligent because she opened her eyes and looked around.

People say silly things about babies.

"Nice hat/outfit/blanket" Seems to be a common one.

Billy I've got one of them! DS (14mo) still doesn't look at all masculine, he could be either. Totally fine by me, I don't even really see the point of having different categories for boy/girl baby clothes, they're the same shape, and their gender makes no difference to anything at that age. He has a pink hoody and often people assume he's a girl when wearing it, maybe I should not correct them and see if they tell me "what a feminine face she has, obv a girl"!

A few of his baby friends do actually look very boyish tho, and always did (not sure if they did at 3 weeks tho, that's pushing it). I remember trying to picture them in pink and frills, and nope, they still looked like boys.

Agreed that babies just look like babies! A friend of mine used her DD1's photo for her DS3's passport as she got sick of pictures being rejected, and to be fair, they did look alike.

Things to say to a proud mum about her new baby:
"Oooh, isn't she small"
"Oooh, look at her cradle cap"
"Oooh, her milk spots haven't cleared up yet then?"
"Oooh, isn't she bald?"

I suspect the autowitter boy/girl comments are probably less likely to cause offence.

I think it's an interesting point actually op, there was some research done which showed that people treated the same baby completely differently depending on whether they were dressed in girl's or boy's clothes. They were much more gentle with the "girls" and responded more quickly to them crying, and comforted them more readily if they were hurt. It explains a lot I expect.

I waas told 'oh she's going to be a heartbreaker' and absolutely loved it.

When my twins were babies they were often dressed in pink (for her) and blue (for him) mostly due to the gift clothes they had been given. We were still asked "Which one is the boy?"!! We told one man that the one in pink was the boy and he said "Handsome chap isn't he"........