to think you don't elbow in and try to knead someone elses bread!?

[TheSpokenNerd]

Silly aibu really but it wound me up! I decied to try and make some bread for the first time today and as I was kneading the dough, DH comes in and gets all "Give me a go give me a go!! You're doing it WRONG!"

In a panicky way...he's watched a mate of his do it...the guy is a chef...so I said NO...this is my loaf...you can tell me how if you know better...

But no...he HAD to hve a go so I let him and he just did what I was doing!

He obviously didn't realise it's quite tough to knead... the twat twit.

Now I feel robbed of my bread experience!

Please god let this not be a euphemism...

Tell him to make some of these instead :o

Alcon I have never heard of anything that can be kneaded referred to as a loaf before....

Just checking, i'm not up with the young people's terminology these days

There is nothing worse than a know-it-all coming along offering ad-bloody-vice.Have you cooked and eaten it yet and is it nice?

No sugar...but I just went to it after it's first "prove" was over and it was MASSIVE and air holey as it should be.

Have knocked the air out as he instructionssaid to and put back for 2nd prove.

Should be ready for oven at 8.00pm

DH isn't getting any! If it's rubbish he will say I should have given him a proper go....if it's nice he will say that his 5 kneads did that.

Why did the baker have brown hands?
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Because he kneaded a poo.

I'm making soda bread next week cos it needs minimal kneading. And is luvverly.

That's one of my favourite jokes to tell the kids BuggerAll :o

DoesBuggerAll - just proper laughed out loud at that!

My kids think I'm very childish

eeeeeeugh DoesBuggerAll.

exH used to elbow me out of the kitchen all the time as I was Doing It All Wrong. I would quietly leave and let him get on with dinner or whatever it was that he felt he could do so much better than me. I hated it.

I once volunteered for a bread baking session in connection with First Communion preparation in my parish. I was to go through the steps of making dough with a group of about 14 seven year olds. Step one for them all was a trip to the bathroom to wash their hands but sadly the religious ed lady didn't actually check that they all did this, just saw them all to the bathroom and counted them all when they came out.

We started with the dough and I explained about the role of yeast and a pinch of sugar and gluten and salt and we measured and mixed and then turned our huge lump of dough out onto the floured table when the time came to knead. I divided the group and the dough into three, and the children started whacking and poking and rolling it, with hardly any of them making any effort to copy the technique I had shown them. But heyho, they were enthusiastic and taking turns amicably and I was happy with the way things were going. They reported the dough was coming together and feeling they way it should have felt. Surveying the scene, I noticed their filthy hands for the first time .

We proceeded to bake the batch of dough I had already prepared and put in little loaf pans for its second rising while kneading the hands-on dough (it was arranged like this so that the children would have a little loaf to bring home to enjoy after the session without having to wait around too long for it to rise) and since the alternative batch was being baked, I could do whatever I liked with the dough the children had kneaded. I put it all into my bowl and left it in the back of my car while I cleaned up the dough room and waited for the little loaves to bake. Got back to the car when the loaves had been distributed and decided the dough had risen nicely so why not bake it... It turned out to be the absolutely best loaf I have ever taken out of my oven.

The lesson is the wrong way to make bread might be the best way.

Well I think I made a mistake.

In order to prove it well, I placed it on a baking tray....floured....and put a HUGE mixing bowl over it to keep the heat in.

The thing rose so much that it lifted the bowl off and stuck to it.
I had to pull it out which probably popped all the holes of air.

I was as fast as I coud be...and gently put it in.

I HOPE its ok as it rose so well it will be sad otherwise!

Math...did you eat the grubby bread?

I did indeed. The crust was perfect and the texture was fantastic. I reckon a lot of the microbes got well and truly cooked

There's a wrong way to knead bread? How complicated does he want to make life?!

Next time, you should look really shocked at tell him your friend, another chef, has separate kneading techniques for different kinds of bread ... that's just the kind of perfectionism you're after ...

It's out and it looks fine! Nice colour....sounded hollow...its a weird shape as I was afraid to mess with it too much.

I will come back in a while when it's ready and report.

Tell him you're worried you aren't doing the washing up properly...