To want to smother his drunken, snoring face with a pillow?

[Cydonia]

DP has been to a wedding today, which was basically a quick registry office service and a piss up afterwards. He finally rolls in at 3am, gets into bed, passes out and starts snoring loud enough to wake the dead. He always does snore horrifically and has, I think, got sleep apnoea but it's always so much worse when he's had a drink.
This would normally piss me off and send me to the sofa in a self righteous huff. But we now have a 6 week old son, who was also disturbed by the racket and is now downstairs on the sofa with me. I can still hear him snoring from down here it's that loud.
AIBU to expect him to be a little less selfish? He knows his snoring keeps me awake, why didn't he sleep on the sofa when he got in? Sadly we don't have a spare bed. Even better, now he's 41 and a father maybe he could stop binge drinking like an 18 year old?
Just wanted to rant about this, listening to his snoring always sends me into a rage, as if I'm not sleep deprived enough! He works night shifts at the moment ( thank god else I really would be sleep deprived ) so I do all the childcare, housework etc during the week. He is supposed to give me a break at the weekend but generally will lie in, then fall asleep (snoring, natch!) whenever he sits down and moan about how knackered he is. This is going to be even worse today when he's hungover. Grrrrr.
Thanks for listening to my rant, just wanted to let it out! If I say anything to him he'll just set off on one about how he never goes out anymore, how good he's been by not going out, how he works his arse off and deserves a pint, etc etc. Then he'll say how he didnt really enjoy it anyway, how it's crap going out these days and he's not really that bothered!!
By the way, he's not a total arsehole, he does tell me I'm doing a brilliant job of looking after the baby, but that's not really the point, a bit of actual help and support wouldn't go amiss!
Right, off to put DS in his carry cot and try and get
some sleep now I've let some of my rage out :)

YADNBU

In fact, are you me? My evening/night sounds exactly the same as yours, except our DC is still in utero! Literally I could have typed this.

I hear you, sister

I'm eyeing up the pillows too, sadly he doesn't have the excuse of being drunk but has snored all fucking night, as well as flailing, nearly hitting me and baby, taking all of the covers and the snoring! AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH
My 7 week old has been woken up by him

raises fist in solidarity I have a plastic bag you can borrow, I hear its easier........

In fairness my DH went through similar when I was pg with #1, much better with #2!

Hope you get some sleep.

Oh I feel your pain. On the rare occasion my DH drinks too much, the warthog snoring does my head in. And I normally get a leg clamped over me too. I have eyed the pillows, believe you me.

Mines in utero too still, but the alcohol has the same effect on DH. Oh, and then the rain set off an alarm which was going for hours. It was like an orchestra...

Mine's lovely too but I am not speaking to him as the lack of sleep has put me in a bad bad mood. He's made me a cup of tea and given me a back run already this morning.

YADNBU and are not alone.

My husband doesnt drink but snores all the fucking time. I kick, push and shake him all night. He still doesnt stop. I wonder why I'm always worn out when I wake up and it's because I'm up breastfeeding or shouting at him to shut the fuck up all night. Very selfish behaviour I agree. Sorry OP - if you find a cure for snoring men please do tell me.

My DH was out last night. Knowing he would come in drunk, I made up the spare bed and left the back door unlocked (because he would have forgotten his key, which he did).

I came down this morning and the back door was open. Fortunately he had also left the kitchen door open, so the dog was sleeping on the new sofa rather than running around the streets...

He did however contain the snoring to the spare room, for which I am grateful.

I'm right there with you. My drunken pig man came at some point in the early hours and proceeded to be sick. (in the toilet thankfully, not all over himself and the bathroom like he did last time)

But can he be sick quietly to avoid waking the child? - no he has to go and make loads of ridiculous noise wretching and generally making a meal of it. Then he spent another five minute blowing his nose and pissing about in the bathroom.

He took himself downstairs after that and then fell asleep on the sofa where I happily left him till 6.30 when our little boy got up so we came down stairs and that fool when upstairs.

I know the day is now a write off as he'll be hungover and just generally useless (more so than normal), plus I'm cross that Saturdays are my lie in and I was up early.

But I was cheered up a bit this morning when I looked at face book and saw a picture of him looking like a drunk.

I'll send the boy upstairs in a bit to jump on the bed. ha!

Get a spare bed, seriously, even if it's just replacing your sofa with a cheap sofa-bed from Ikea. Your sleep is valuable. Take it from one who knows.

Next time he sleeps on the sofa. Seriously, co-sleeping on a sofa is dangerous, and even if you aren't co-sleeping he will sleep like a log anywhere, you need a proper bed!

My DH did that a couple of times when DS was small. He did grow up eventually.

I hear you too! I don't have a tiny baby yet, but will do in approx 11 weeks. have got dcs already though, and hate explaining why dh has woken up the household in the early hours by either stumbling around when he comes in, or snoring. never snores when he's not drunk, but binge drinks like a teenager every friday night without fail. he usually does this at either his brother or sisters house, and i'd go too, to be sociable, but i was getting so fed up sitting there watching them all getting drunk, waiting until he felt ready to go home, so i could drive back, so the last couple of weeks i've stayed at home, and asked him to come home in the morning! This week he'd promised to have last night in with me, with a film and takeaway, but then he got 'the phone call' and off he went. He is lovely most of the time- just wish he wasn't so selfish when it comes to having a drink!

Glad to see I'm not alone! However not glad to see how many men just carry on as normal when they become a dad :( I can't imagine being drunk ever again, which considering my past record is pretty amazing!
Spare bed might be the answer, I did consider this when I found out I was pregnant cos I knew the snoring would be a nightmare. Was going to have a bed in the nursery instead of having the baby in a crib in our room but decided not to for some reason. Even a camp bed in the loft room would do.
Oh and I didn't sleep with DS on the sofa, he was in his carry cot that I normally use for daytime naps. Thats another thing that annoys me, whenever he has DS with him to give me a 'break' I invariably find them both asleep on the sofa so I have to rescue DS. Have told DP it's dangerous, he just says he wasn't really asleep! Yeah right.
Maybe I should start a new thread ' All men are lazy drunken pigs, discuss '

Oh, except my dad, don't remember my dad having a hangover or waking the house up drunk when I was a kid. He went out, but drank sensibly, now he hardly drinks at all.

How utterly shit to have to raise children with someone like that :(

Get him to ask for a referral to a sleep clinic. Sleep apnea is awful - bad for health and can cause a range of conditions like high blood pressure. If he's driving and there's a possibility he could fall asleep at the wheel....

Also, if he does get seen and needs a CPAP machine he'll get a better night and so will you - happiness all round!

Yanbu to be pissed off. I have a similar problem with DH, mild snoring that is tolerable with ear plugs when sober, horrendous snoring when drunk. But whirly is absolutely right. If he appears to have slept apnoea that is a very serious but treatable condition - you need to drag him to the GP to check for underlying medical conditions and see about getting him referred to a sleep clinic.

I will try, have tried time and again to get him to see the doctor about it, apparently there's no point as there's nothing that they can do. How he knows that without actually seeing the doctor I don't know. I told him about the dangers of sleep apnoea too, after reading about it on here, but again nothing.
I did get my revenge though - I noticed the dog sneakily stick her tongue in DP's glass of milk this morning. I kept this to myself. DP drank the milk. Even better, my lovely dog had been eating sheep shit on her walk earlier that morning! Hehehe.

DH used to snore horribly. He lost 20lbs and had an operation on his nose. No snoring.

Have you recorded him and played it back?

I snore like a dying warthog - DH does too. Separate bedrooms = problem over!