to want to silence this guy wth a rolled up copy of "engineering weekly"?

[StealthPolarBear]

He's treating the entire train carriage to the sound of his voice. It has been a long journey ad he's not paused for breath
So far his little gems have included "rocket science is easy, just a bunch of equations...rocket engineering on the other hand that's hard " and "let's not gild the lily its a pyrotechnic" nd my favourite "ive only just met you so I'm not gping to start a fight"
Pity the poor man sat opposite who is sporting a glazed look and nodding at suspiciously regular intervals

I love when there's someone like that on the train and all the non-twattish travellers have that sense of solidarity.

Once I was on a rush hour train and the mousy, middle aged woman opposite me was reading the Joy of Sex intently. She was highlighting lines and everything. A few of us had a childish smirk at that

She was probably doing the "fake book covers" thing in reverse. It was probably a book on rocket science.

I saw the beardy man

Chief rocket guy? ;)

Ok am now in platform waiting room, there's a woman here who keeps putting small pieces of stuff into her mouth with her right hand then spitting it into her left. What is she doing?

Bump. Could have been gum or popcorn but she didn't chee

She is a spy. She has just received a top secret message and is now destroying it, as instructed, by chewing it up in little pieces.

I think you might be right! She keptlooking at me as I was hiding round the corner by Tje vending machine (found a socket for my phone) maybe she thought I was one too!

Stand next to her and, while pretending to read your battered copy of Engineering Weekly, whisper to her: 'mother owl swims at night'.

She just hit me with a well thumbed, highlighted, joy of sex!

Ah, so now you feel a bit dizzy with the joy of sex?

You simply MUST get those chewed up bits of paper from her! The future of Mumsnet depends on it!

You have GOT to be kidding me

Go on, you can do it!

Do you have bluetooth turned on? Search for other devices and see if there's one with a name you think he might have chosen. It'll be something grandiose or pornographic no doubt.

Send him a bluetooth message telling him exactly what you (and the rest of mumsnet, apparently) think of him. Send it to all the other bluetooth devices within range to give the other passengers a good laugh.