Am I being unreasonable to go out and get tipsy come home at 2am

[queenofthedancefloor]

Hi I was wandering do you think this is unreasonable... I am a single mum. I have children ranging from ten to 3. Their dad doesnt help at all so I am left holdng the children 24/7 365....I like to go out...This makes me a happier mum. And happier mum equals happier kids. It makes me feel alive and not just a mum. I work hard. And I am a mum aswell..everyone needs to let off steam yes...???

I have a friend who will babysit say once a fortnight once a month. She will come round. I put the kids in bed. Then I go out about half 8 niine. She babysits. I then come home half one twos and am merry when i get home. I do have a drink but I handle my drink well and am never intoxicated or falling over or anything. I know my limit. She usually goes home when i come in and i go to bed and then get woken up by kids at half seven and get up with them.

Is this unreasonable???????I dont think so but am orepared to get flamed. I just want your honest opinions. I dont think there a prob with this but thir dad does....yet he wont have them??????what do you all think. Time for myself makes me a better happier mum.

What is he objecting to?

YANBU! Lots of parents go out and get tipsy together, then come home to their kids. I bet you both did when you were still together. What's the difference?!

YANBU - cant see whats wrong with that at all!

hardly ever maybe twicw a year letting kids sleep at his...and objecting t me having a drink and going out and coming in at 2am whn i am responsible for his children lol know he shuld have them more so i can do this but he doesnt want me to enjoy myself thats a dfferent thread....So I am trying to make best of a bad job and arrange childcare fr myself so i can go out...I think this is ok as i am always in control and know my drinking limit...What do you think??x

I'm a lp and when I go out I don't tend to have more than one/two drinks early on if I'm having to go home and be the only adult in the house. I can handle my drink.

This may be linked to the fact that dc has health problems though, as I would never forgive myself if something happened in the night and I slept through it/was not as capable of dealing with it as would be stone cold sober/hours after a drink or two.

I know of a few lps that are happy to go out and get quite drunk before returning home to sole responsibility. I just couldn't do it.

Do you not have someone who can sleep over with them, or grandparents that you can send them to?

I go out once every few months and have a proper drinking sesh, but only if dc is safely under the care of another family member.

I'd laugh in his face tbh, and then tell him to fuck off to the far side of fuck :)

Thanks guys i dont c problem...Only problem is getting up early next day lol...but i can handle it :-)

How does he know? Don't tell him! It is NONE of his business.

YANBU at all! (says the single mum who will be going out tonight, coming home tipsy, then doing the same thing tomorrow night as well. DD is now 15 but I now have lots of friendships that I was able to maintain as I've kept a social life going since she was born)

So long as you would be in a fit state to deal with anything that happened once you are back and the babysitter is gone, I don't see any problem with it.

How dare he object when he doesn't help you with their care?

It seems perfectly OK to me - but only know how capable you'd be in an emergency.

Know what you sayng wilbur...But no no grandparents willing lol..And sometimess she sleepsover if i go oout of town for the night. Thanks scottish mummy I am capable...luckily nothing ever happened. But am always prepared for that. And one bottom lolx

he is an arse

I wouldn't even dignify such a ridiculous objection with an answer TBH.

i agree hullyglly....he is lol..He thought he would not have them overnight so as i could never go out etc...so now i found an alternative he doesnt like it. yet still refuses to have them over. only once in a blue moon.x

Dont tell him. It is as simple as that.

i agree dalen. and i dont tell him sqeak he just finds out.x

Just one point- if you do come home a bit more then "tipsy" ever, could your friend stay the night? I'm not sure I would be entirely happy with a properly drunk person being in sole charge.......

He's trying to control you and he has no right.

wwell seeker that has never happened...merry yes...blind drunk no.....and im sure she would but i dont intend to get drrruunk...as have to get up early and be n mummy mode

i know erik but he jus is so selfish and wont help

There is of course nothing wrong with you going out and having a drink.

The only issue is if you are capable enough to deal with an emergency in the night. What if one of the DC is ill in the night? What if one of them needs to be taken to hospital? Are you 100% sure you could cope with this?

red sky i know what you are saying... i obviously would have to deal if they ill thsts why i have to make sure i would never get drunk...i would have to call ambulanve if they ill instead of driving to hospital obviously...undrestand your point thoughx

Why tell him? It's common for parents to go out together once in a while and get tipsy. Why shouldn't you just because you are a single parent?

You can do whatever you like, it has nothing to do with him.
He never sees his own kids? Why?
He's trying to control you because he thinks you should be what he deems a 'good mother' while he does fa. He's a misogynistic idiot.
Ignore him. And if he won't see his kids why do you even speak to him?

As long as you have a responsible babysitter I don't see the problem with going out, or with having a few drinks.

'Tipsy' doesn't sound like you wouldn't be able to look after your children in an emergency. You might not be able to drive, but then some parents can't drive or don't own a car at all.