Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is it U for us to say no to keeping her stuff?

16 replies

vodkaandcaviar · 05/07/2012 20:04

DP's sister lives across the road from us and is moving back home tomorrow. She can't fit all of her stuff in her parents car (they brought their smaller car and their dog so there's very little space really). We were over helping carry things down to the car for her when she took DP aside to say that there were several larger items she couldn't fit in the car and asked if we would keep them for her.

The items include a chest of drawers, ironing board, tv stand, large bin, clothes airer etc. She said it was fine for us to use them but we already have all of these things ourselves so we'd have to put them away in our big storage cupboard.

She's planning on coming back to live here if/when she finds a job so we don't know how long we'd have to keep the items for but under any other circumstances we'd have said yes, of course. However, we're moving ourselves in two weeks and already have a van load of stuff. In addition, the new flat has much less storage space (no big cupboards) and already has far too much furniture (and three large bins?!) so I'm not sure where we could keep it, especially in the long term.

DP said we could keep it until we move if she wanted to come back for it within the next fortnight which I thought was fair but now I'm feeling a bit guilty. She has a boyfriend (with a car who lives at home) so he could probably take it for her instead. Would it be rude of me to suggest that?

OP posts:
ENormaSnob · 05/07/2012 20:08

Yanbu at all

mynewpassion · 05/07/2012 20:20

I think your DH's solution is great. What's wrong with what he said? She has two weeks to figure it out.

vodkaandcaviar · 05/07/2012 20:36

She probably won't be back here in the next fortnight - at least not with her parents in their car. This is the second car load they've taken back in a week, I think they underestimated how much stuff she had and bulky stuff like ironing boards are difficult to fit in.

Still feeling guilty!

OP posts:
fedupofnamechanging · 05/07/2012 20:38

Why feel guilty? You have enough stuff of your own to take to your new place - why would anyone think it reasonable for you to transport their stuff too, especially when you will have nowhere to put it.

twitchrabbitbouncebounce · 05/07/2012 20:39

also agree your dh's suggestion sounds best for you all...alternatively, I am also moving & need a chest of drawers, tv stand and could do with a bin, so you can send them to me if you want Wink Grin

vodkaandcaviar · 05/07/2012 20:40

I think because she knows we're hiring a van so imagines we'll have the space to transport it. I doubt she's thought about where we'd store it. I don't think their parents really want it at their house either, to be honest!

OP posts:
hermioneweasley · 05/07/2012 20:48

Nothing wrong with your DP's suggestion - as passion says , it gives her 2 weeks to sort it. If it comes to it and these things are worth it to her she'll have to pay for storage.

EugenesAxe · 05/07/2012 20:48

Don't feel guilty. It's quite nice to read a thread where the DP/DH actually deals with his own family in potentially 'sticky' situations. You feel bad you aren't being made uncomfortable in your own home so she can be comfortable?! Really, no guilt required there.

If she doesn't realise about lack of space in your new flat explain it to her. 'We would have been happy to, if it weren't for...' openers etc.

FallenCaryatid · 05/07/2012 20:48

let your DP and his sister sort it out, stop with the unnecessary guilt and fuss.

vodkaandcaviar · 05/07/2012 20:50

twitchrabbitbouncebounce Haha! We might have some to spare once we're in the new place, it's hard to know what you'll need until you're living there. You're welcome to anything we don't need ;)

I don't think DP's sister wants to get rid of the stuff, she wants to use it again when/if she comes back to live here. I guess it makes more sense to try and keep it here rather than dragging it home only to have to bring it back again.

OP posts:
VolAuVent · 05/07/2012 20:54

YANBU. She could always pay for short-term storage.

vodkaandcaviar · 05/07/2012 20:59

EugenesAxe I know! I was a bit surprised but I think he just didn't want to have to carry more things down from the third floor than he really has to.

They have tonight/tomorrow morning to decide what they're doing. Do these options sound reasonable?

  1. she leaves the stuff with us but comes down with parents to collect it before we move out
  2. she leaves stuff here but her boyfriend collects it before we move
  3. she pays for storage (could she find this at short notice? I guess we could keep it until she did?)
  4. she gets rid of it/leaves it in the flat for the next tenants
OP posts:
mynewpassion · 05/07/2012 21:05

Leave it alone. Just say give her date that she has to pick up her stuff.

Why are you worrying needlessly? Just give her date. Tell her that if she doesn't pick them up, she will likely lose them because you will no longer live in the house and will have no way of getting back.

vodkaandcaviar · 05/07/2012 21:17

I just don't want there to be a row over the fact we can't keep it for her until she moves back here. Her parents are quite precious with her and she's used to always getting her own way so will likely throw a huge strop tomorrow morning. I'd rather avoid it!

I should add that DP's parents said we should 'think about it' so I think they're expecting us to just agree to take it.

OP posts:
cureall · 05/07/2012 21:22

Just say there's no room in your new place and you're really sorry not to be able to help. Your DH should convey this though to save you getting flak.

Does she (or you) have a friend with a garage with room for her stuff on the understanding she picks it up within a time period?

vodkaandcaviar · 05/07/2012 21:30

DP will tell her - it was him who spoke to her in the first place. What you've said is pretty much what he told her.

Her boyfriend lives just a few miles away at home but I'm not sure how much space he'd have. I thought it'd be worth asking as there's a chance they'd have a garage or something. I think most of her other friends have already left the city.

Us and all of our friends who still live here live in flats so none of us have garages. We could have kept it in our big storage cupboard if we'd been staying here. She's known for months that we'd be moving though.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread