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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to see a new doctor and not tell them how many dcs i have?

28 replies

5dcsinneedofacleaner · 05/07/2012 19:16

I had PND after my first baby was born, it wasnt as bad as it could have been i struggled but never went on medication (i did see a counsellor) but then had 3 more with no problems at all. I had dc5 4 months ago and everything seems so hard. Not the 5 children part ( to be honest that the same as having 4) but my mood is awful i just feel in a bad temper all the time, i cant face thinking about things and i just do my little routines without even lifting my head up from the list (i have lots of lists its how i keep things under control day to day!).

Im not going to be dramatic here i am ok but i feel wrong if that makes sense.

The problem is of i try to mention anything to anyone, either friends, family or doctor of hv even here on mumsnet they just say "well you have got 5 under 7" or "thats what you get for having them so close!" . I am never allowed to have any problems it seems!

I know that the number isnt the issue i really like having them, i enjoy looking after them its just my mood is the problem.

I did finally convince the doctor to do a blood test as i was so tired (he claimed it was having 5 for the last few months) but as it turns out i am really anemic.

I want to go to the doctor and say firstly could it be PND and secondly could it be this mirena coil i had put it after the baby was born.

But im pretty sure they wont take me seriously - so would it be unreasonable to go to a new doctos or the out of hours etc and just lie when they ask how many children i have? To try and get the to at least discuss the problems?

Im guessing it would be but you never know.

OP posts:
FiveRingsForDinner · 05/07/2012 19:23

I'd think very badly of a GP that expressed such prejudices.

ENormaSnob · 05/07/2012 19:26

I wouldn't lie tbh.

If you get caught they will be very interested in why you lied.

TheCrackFox · 05/07/2012 19:29

Yes it could be your mirena. Think about having it removed. A quick google will reveal a lot if women linking it to their depression.

Also ask your doc to check your thyroid function. 5-10% of post natal women can develop thyroidtitis (under active which self corrects at about a year after birth) which can lead to a low mood.

It could be PND.

Sadly some doctors just like to brush off post natal women's mental health.

ObiWan · 05/07/2012 19:29

I don't think there'd be any point in lying, they will have access to your notes.

Perhaps you could pay for a consultation at a private practice? You might be able to put your point across more forcefully at those prices. Grin

Or see your health visitor or just switch to another G.P.

sugarice · 05/07/2012 19:31

Don't lie, it'll be on your medical records anyway.

Dprince · 05/07/2012 19:31

The gp would find when your notes are transferred. Then you would be asked why you lied.
I had my implant removed because I was so depressed, angry etc. I felt so much better straight away.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 05/07/2012 19:32

They will be able to see on a screen how many dc you have.

You need to find a more professional GP and be honest with them.

Original poster
5dcsinneedofacleaner · 05/07/2012 19:34

Ah i suppose my records would give it away wouldnt they!.
I think angry is a good waynto describe it i never had pmt but i would imagine this is what it feels like. My dh complained about his bike today and i felt liek just ripping his head off- i am so mild mannered normally its not me at all :(.

OP posts:
3monkeys · 05/07/2012 19:37

I would want to know (as a GP!) how many kids you had, but i wouldn't blame everything on them. You need to be honest though so you can build up a relationship

TouTou · 05/07/2012 19:37

Please don't lie to your doctor. The number of DCs you have may be a factor, or may not, but it's still worth noting down.

If you aren't happy with the advice your dr has given, you must change. Get your next dr to book a good amount of time off (explain this to the receptionist) and start as a clean sheet. Explain why you felt frustrated with the previous advice.

Hope you are feeling less angry soon. And, sorry, but 5 under the age of 7 does sound like hard work and I admire you.

MammaTJ · 05/07/2012 19:39

Get that coil removed!!!

I had one and it made me feel as though I was going mad. Zoning out, depression, panic attacks.

Don't lie to the docs, just push for help!! I think you are right in that 5 is not many more than 4. You know how you feel!! Print off your OP and show them.

Original poster
5dcsinneedofacleaner · 05/07/2012 19:42

I will ask to see the other gp in the practice, i think the anemia thing really annoyed me which has got me all in a tizz with my current gp. Probably overreacting Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
5dcsinneedofacleaner · 05/07/2012 19:44

Mamma i have had panic attacks a few times in the last few months - i didnt put that down to the mirena - perhaps it may be time to ask about it!

OP posts:
TouTou · 05/07/2012 19:45

MammaTJ - sorry for hijacking thread, but I have had a mirena for 4 years now. Do you think it really causes many problems? Dh has offered to have the snip Grin and I do sometimes get black moods. Could it be my coil?

greenblue · 05/07/2012 19:48

This definitely definitely sounds like your coil!

I had a similar thing on dianette (can only describe it as rage intercepted with occassional weepiness) - my doctor told me over and over that my mood was due to a recent run of bereavements and the final few months of my masters, i told him it wasn't "i know my own body/ mind yadda yadda" but he insisted and put me on anti-depressants until one day i got the courage to bin the meds, walked into his surgery and demanded he change my pill. He put me on to microgynon and within days i was fine. I KNEW I was right!!

MrsKwazii · 05/07/2012 19:53

I've only had blood-boiling rages because of contraception. Mine was on cerazette. I really could have murdered people left, right and centre. Stopped taking it and was back to my usual (although irritable not murderous!) self. May be worth getting your coil out to see. Hope that is what it is for you as it must be horrid to feel like you do. Congratulations on DC5 btw Grin

McPie · 05/07/2012 19:58

The merina coil works amazingly for some women but for others, like me, it is the work of the devil. I had really bad lows which lead me to want to throw myself down the stairs as I was sure nobody would care! Once it was removed I felt normal within a couple of days and it was only then I told my dh exactly how it had made me feel.
Getting rid of the coil and seeing how you feel after should be your first step. I found newborn twins and a 5 year old who had just started school easier to deal with than my merina coil!

TheCrackFox · 05/07/2012 19:59

Microgynon gave mr the rage. Every woman is different and it is important to listen to your body. You know it far better than any doctor.

Cheriefroufrou · 05/07/2012 20:05

"My dh complained about his bike today and i felt liek just ripping his head off- i am so mild mannered normally its not me at al"

that was me on cerazette, I would get rage sitting in a room alone, I would get a whole range of intense emotions (not happy ones though) in a very short period of time with no provocation for them. I was frightened by the rage I had towards DH at times. I actually felt I had potential to do harm on that pill! - stopped it and have never felt that way since! So it does sound like a contraceptive thing

I second getting thyroid functions checked, although that would probably make you feel more "flat" then "ragey" IMO, but still worth checking. My main priority would be getting the coil out!

AnaisB · 05/07/2012 20:05

Sorry you're finding things difficult.

When you go to the other GP could you tell him/her the truth (they'll know from your notes anyway) and say something along the lines of "TBH though, I feel like keeping the number of kids I have a secret, cos it means that people aren't taking my problems seriously." Then you've addressed the issue honestly from the start and he/she will hopefully be mindful not to make the same presumptions that others have.

Cheriefroufrou · 05/07/2012 20:07

was also panic attacky - felt very out of control, kind of like I was floating through my daily tasks..

not at all how I felt with low iron or low thyroid function - I was more blank and flat and not able to go through the motions of daily tasks as normal

VolAuVent · 05/07/2012 20:40

Lack of iron - try Spatone supplements for a week or two and see if these help with your energy levels.

Mirena - you could always go to the family planning clinic and ask for it to be removed. But try other things first.

Supplements - 5HTP can help boost serotonin levels.

pinkappleby · 05/07/2012 20:47

I had a similar reaction to a brand of pill after DC3 that had been fine after DC1 and DC2 so your body can change in the way it reacts to hormones after a baby. Agree you should be assertive with your current doctor.

And yes - spatone twice a day works really well for iron deficiency, absorbed better than the tablets.

Greatauntirene · 05/07/2012 20:51

5HPT gave me severe headache at one side of my head! though can't remember the dose I took.

RuthlessBaggage · 05/07/2012 21:01

I think if you see a new doctor and say "I gave birth xx months ago and got the coil shortly thereafter and since then I have felt like this..." then those are the pertinent points that you feel need addressing and they should act from that.

"Do you have any other children?"

"Yes, but I've never felt like this before."

No lying, no evasion, just sticking to the main points.