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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Your figure or your face?

31 replies

Dolcelatte · 05/07/2012 15:37

Is it true that when you become certain age (let's say over 40) you have to choose between your figure ot your face? I didn't think so, but now i am starting to believe it. By way of example, I have 2 x SIL - one younger and one slightly older - the older one has always been a 'big girl' but has gorgeous skin, is confident and happy, and really hardly seems to have aged; the other has a fabulous model girl figure at 46 but an 'old face' (also happy, by the way!).

Which is best, worse, if you could choose? Or are you just lucky to be healthy and apart from being reasonably sensible with diet, exercise etc just don't worry about it - in which case it is a shallow question. But AIBU to wonder which you would choose?

I'm not saying which, if any, category I belong to - just sufficiently insecure to post this thread!

OP posts:
MamaMary · 05/07/2012 15:41

I choose my face so I can scoff what I like

picnicbasketcase · 05/07/2012 15:43

I'm 32 and that train has already sailed.

PoppyWearer · 05/07/2012 15:45

I dieted after DC1 a few years back and my face looked gaunt (then mid-30s). So after DC2 I have now shed weight but not going as far as before, will allow myself to slide from a size 12 lower half to a 14.

The original quote was from Dame Barbara Cartland, BTW. She chose face.

SoleSource · 05/07/2012 15:45

Why one or the other, have both.

MissFaversam · 05/07/2012 15:46

According to the BMI thingy I'm about a stone over and wouldn't want to be any slimmer due to having a rather thin face. A bit of plumpness I feel helps me look younger.

So Deffo a vote for the face.

PartyInMyPants · 05/07/2012 16:08

Face. Body can be mostly squeezed and moulded into something reasonable with clothes. A bad face is hard to hide.

Spuddybean · 05/07/2012 16:12

That famous sage and feminist Barbara Cartland said once she 'always thought women of a certain age had to choose between their figure and face' her advice was 'to have a lovely face and sit down'.

Err thanks, now how do you feel about putting your make up on with a trowel?

Dahlen · 05/07/2012 16:45

If you eat and exercise well, you won't have to choose between them at all (barring other health issues) as your body will naturally find it's optimum weight leaving both looking great. For some women this may be larger or smaller than the current social norm, but they'll still look fabulous.

lastnerve · 05/07/2012 16:46

Sadly it does seem true chubbier older women look cheerful,

thin older women often look haggered.

lastnerve · 05/07/2012 16:46

*haggard? sp

WorraLiberty · 05/07/2012 16:49

You don't have to choose.

Also (face wise) genes tend to play a big part.

My Dad is 80
His brother is 82
His sisters are 84 and 86

None of them have particularly wrinkled skin at all. In fact, I've seen people in their late 50's with far more wrinkles than any of my family.

They're all slim and always have been.

bubbub · 05/07/2012 16:51

i wont have to chose not smug at all
i have always had a bad face and a bad figure.
as one friend of dh said once "she looks like an orc from lord of the rings"
thankfully i have a good sense of humour. which wont fade when im old and wrinkly... hopefully!

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 05/07/2012 16:52

I don't think it's entirely true. There was a thread about this a while back and I started paying attention!

I think thinner women only really look older if they have gained and then lost a lot of weight, if they have always been slim they are likely to be ok.

Personally, I'd rather look a couple of years older than look fat.

sherbetpips · 05/07/2012 16:54

definately face, 35+ and weight loss will give you instant face sag

JamieandTheOlympicTorch · 05/07/2012 16:55

Both are OK. The bit in between is suffering (neck)

lastnerve · 05/07/2012 16:56

Outraged I know alot of women who have always been very slim and begin to look haggard in their 20's

I think genes plays a big part.

my mum has always been big but has a 'thin face' go figure.

JamieandTheOlympicTorch · 05/07/2012 16:56

I don't think you get to choose (much) after a certain age

Chandon · 05/07/2012 16:58

ehm...I choose both?

Not so thin (nowhere near) that I look gaunt or old.

not so big (though wide hips and a bit of fat in all the places females store fat) I look fat.

BMI somehwere in the middle of "normal"

bit of exercise.

done

MrsCampbellBlack · 05/07/2012 16:59

I don't think you have to choose but I personally think being overweight can be ageing - I definitely look frumpier if carrying excess pounds.

But up to each individual of course.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 05/07/2012 17:00

I agree genes probably have a lot to do with it. My Gran and my mum and her sisters all have great skin (apart from the one whos alcoholic) but we all have to make a big effort to stay slim.

Sluttybuttons · 05/07/2012 17:01

I have neither, im fat and look shit

Chandon · 05/07/2012 17:04

and you're so positive too sluttybuttons Wink

here, have some of my smugness based on nothing

Sluttybuttons · 05/07/2012 17:06

i just have a mirror lol

PackItInNow · 05/07/2012 17:09

Meh, couldn't care less. I'm going to grow old disgracefully and have lots of fun with DH and the kids Wink.

WorraLiberty · 05/07/2012 17:11

I think a lot of overweight people get jowls as they get older rather than wrinkles, but that can look just as bad....and make up doesn't cover them.