To be livid with my ExH?

[Minstrelsaremarvellous]

ExH had affair, got OW pregnant, ran up enormous debts and ran away (I am a lucky lady to have escaped tbh!). Anyway fast forward several years and he lives about 40mins away. Has good contact with DD. am civil but no more.
I'm remarried with DD2 and took her baby swimming today with DD1. As we go in, DD1 says "I've been here before, this is where daddy and OW bring my brother swimming". This is the pool where I also took DD1 swimming as a baby.
I am furious - the pool is my local and my ExH has to go out of his way to have baby swimming lessons in this pool. It's not his local and I KNOW there are many options where he lives.
This is not the first time this kind of thing had happened. He & OW got exactly the same breed of dog as me (it's an unusual one) and there are many more examples.
I'm annoyed because he doesn't have to reproduce these things and I genuinely can't think why he'd want to?
I was obviously unhappy with me to have an affair and leave, so why have I got a list of situations like this?
Just wish he'd use his imagination....

I had an ex who named his first child the same name as me, easier than covering up the name on his arm maybe

Why are you spending your time thinking of an ex. You are only causing yourself hurt. Either don't think about him or perhaps seek some form of counseling.

Moomins - a little about that story!

YABU. Move on, move on, move on.

Speaking as a man, I'd be really surprised if he is stalking / winding you up in some way. It's not usually how men work but I grant you every person is different. As other posters have said, there are many reasons why there. Easier to park at, better changing facilities when with baby, cheaper, familiarity, fond memories, others booked out etc....

Why assume it's to get at you? Assume it's not, and get on with life.

Maybe he's just too dumb to figure these things out for himself? Nice dog = one like Minstrels's. Baby swimming = pool Minstrels goes to. Childrens clothes = Marks and Spencers. Etc.

His poor new wife, she's really just Minstrels II!!

YABU

Does it have to be coming him? I just asked because I respect a lot of the decisions DHs ex has made regarding my stepsons and as a slightly older woman who has done a good job, I certainly look up to her as an example.

There's a local wildlife centre she was a member off and took the kids to. It's very close to where we live and I've thought about joining when my baby is born. I now feel like a bit of a weirdo but I'm not from the area and my stepsons are ace so clearly the woman knows her stuff!

WaitingForMe you sound lovely

Waiting, I'm having a bit of a shit, emotional day and your post made me well up - in a good way. Good for you!

YANBU to be livid he sounds like a twat but YABU because this reason is daft, men tend to go out with very simmerler type ladys it stands to reason you will do simmerler things. and anyways you cant claim ownership or sole custody rights of a public swimming pool.

have a bit of fun with it see if you can get him to change cars or start getting oW to wear weird shoes and i lovwe the house painting idea

Livid? really?

You should probably just chill a bit.

It could be for any number of reasons that they go to that one, as a PP has pointed out. He probably doesn't care enough to discount going to it simply because that's the pool you go to. Or it hasn't occurred to him.

Minstrels, don't waste your anger on him!!

My exH had an affair and left me for the Troll thing. I went round to discuss our DD (much later) and found he had tiled their bathroom with the same tiles he had done mine with!!

I suppose he knew he could live with them and they were resonably priced. Men are lazy. I think that is what it boils down to, going for the easy option.

Does it really matter that much what he does if you have got a new partner yourself and have remarried and moved on. Most men wouldn't think too much about this sort of thing. He probably liked the pool and the breed of dog and other things and just went ahead and chose them rather than thinking oh I did this before. (Not saying men are insensitive or anything of course!!!)

It has made me chuckle about having a bit of fun with this.... Rant over, all calm in Minstrel house, will. Let. It. Go.

Another one who thinks you are reading far too much into this.

Maybe you are right. Or maybe he thought, "Well, DD went there and has done well. They are trustworthy and do a good job with good facilities. Let's try DS there, seeming how we know it will be money well spent." If not, and it is purely just to imitate you, then allow him to continue wasting his petrol and showing that he is wasting his time as his games are not getting to you.

Livid?

I'd have a lot of fun with this one - drop some bizarre things into conversation and watch him toddle off and do them. I had a friend at uni copy everything I did - it was actually very annoying but everyone said 'imitation is the sincerest form of flattery' so I just let it go.

Marks & Spencer for kids clothes - definitely. I think all Mnetters should spend their money there, and if you buy online make sure you go through the MN linky.