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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

There are occasions when it IS necessary/acceptable to re-home an animal?

59 replies

Lookmeupanddown · 04/07/2012 16:52

And that doing so doesn't necessarily make you the devil incarnate? Just seen something on FB (I know, I know!) along the lines of, if you re-home an animal after you have a child you are pond scum. Similarly worded to the below:

FREE TO A GOOD HOME: 2 year old child. Genuine reason, I've just got a new puppy so no longer have the time for the child. Also worried the child may bite the puppy. Child is crate trained and up to date on all shots. Needs home by tomorrow or it'll be put to sleep. Thanks! YOU WOULDN'T DO THIS TO A CHILD SO WHY DO U SEE IT AS ACCEPTABLE TO DO IT TO A DOG? If you can't dedicate 15yrs to a dog, don't get one!!

Firstly, I can't believe anyone would actually put an animal to sleep because they had a child. Secondly - surely there are sometimes valid reasons for re-homing an animal? (I speak as someone who re-homed two cats after having second child so am digging out my hard hat.)

AIBU?

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 04/07/2012 16:56

Of course there are valid reasons sometimes for rehoming animals but I think the point that ridiculous copy and paste is trying to make, is that far too many people are still buying animals...particularly puppies and kittens and getting rid of them for no good reason.

Having a baby is not always a good reason.

And lots of healthy animals are put to sleep because no homes can be found for them.

FunnysInLaJardin · 04/07/2012 16:59

YANBU. There seems to be a trend towards being overly sentimental towards animals, dogs in particular. Of course there are some circumstances when rehoming an animal is necessary.

Original poster

Lookmeupanddown · 04/07/2012 17:01

I think I'm just too reactionary - I was tempted to respond but thought I'd come and have a rant over here and check that it's not just me being Cruella Deville...

OP posts:

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 04/07/2012 17:03

There are valid reasons for re homing a dog, but having a child isn't one of them.

ThatllDoPig · 04/07/2012 17:05

I'm with you.
That info from FB is trying to make its point in the wrong way. Is the writer trying to suggest a child and a dog are entitled to equality in the ways they are treated by a family?
I don't believe that any sane parent would chose the welfare of a pet over the welfare of a child if it really came down to it. Of course in an ideal world both should live together in harmony, but it isn't always possible. For me it was in everyone's interests to rehome the cat, including her.
Was surprised by the strength of feeling that others have about this at the time though and many people tried to make me feel guilty about my choices. But they didn't know the full story, or have to live my reality at the time.

ShakyStart · 04/07/2012 17:05

I have just rehoused one of my two cats. Main reason is that the cat kept weeing on our furniture and even in the car on the way to the vets! As you will probably know, the smell of cat wee is just unbearable and really difficult to get out of leather sofas etc. We've had to replace mattresses and sofas. The cat always had a clean fresh litter tray to do its business in and was toilet trained, but she was always a nervous cat. I think she felt intimated by our other cat and so recently we rehomed her to what seems like a good loving home. Whilst some may consider that somehow distasteful, I just think that it was the best thing not only for us, but also her as she clearly wasn't content living with us. Also, the new owner does not have any other pets or small children and will be able to offer her the attention that she deserves.

Original poster

Lookmeupanddown · 04/07/2012 17:07

yy ThatllDoPig. Exactly. We got some vitriol off a family member when we rehomed ours and it really rankled (said family member had no children) and I think that might be why this has hit a nerve. I don't doubt that it was the best thing to do but I was devastated.

OP posts:

Moominsarescary · 04/07/2012 17:07

I rehomed my dog and actually it was because I was having a child. I was taken into hospital at 31 weeks and the dog was no one to look after him in the day.

ChickensHaveNoLips · 04/07/2012 17:09

Of course there are good reasons for rehoming an animal. Like if you can't afford to keep it well fed and keep up with its healthcare needs. Or you have to emigrate to a country where the animal wouldn't be welcome. Or you had a serious illness. Or had to do a long stretch for armed robbery. Or were abducted by probe wielding aliens But an awful lot of people rehome because they have lost interest or can't be arsed. Those people make me rather irritated.

GiserableMitt · 04/07/2012 17:10

I had to take a friend's dog to the local refuge to be rehomed today. She was in pieces but I don't criticise her decision to put her family and home first.

Moominsarescary · 04/07/2012 17:11

*dog was on it's own as I had noone to look after him in the day

supermoshi · 04/07/2012 17:12

we had to rehome our beloved cat because dd turned out to be highly allergic to cats and she has asthma, cat could even be the main cause. It was a very horrible decision to have to make and we explored all other options first even getting advice from mners. But dcs health has to come before a pet so yes in some cases there are good reasons to rehome imvho

MetalliMa · 04/07/2012 17:13

yanbu
we had to re home our much loved pooch,
we couldn't give it the attention he deserved when dd and her sn came along.
he went to a very good home and was a happy dog.

insancerre · 04/07/2012 17:14

We had to rehome our two dogs when i was pregnant. Not because of the baby but because I had hyperemesis and literally couldn't look after myself never mind 2 dogs. DH was in the forces and we lived hundreds of miles away from family. it broke my heart but I knew i had to do it, I was in bed for days on end and couldn't cope and had no way of knowing when or even if I was going to be better.
So, Op, YANBU

silverfrog · 04/07/2012 17:14

we had to rehome our dog because of dd1.

she developed a severe phobia of dogs (after 2 years of crawling around quite happily with our lovely dog )

we tried to rehabilitate, but in the end it was no contest - dd1 came first in our priorities, and so our dog had to go.

Original poster

Lookmeupanddown · 04/07/2012 17:16

No YABU yet - am pleasantly surprised. Might have to go and comment after all...

OP posts:

AKMD · 04/07/2012 17:22

YANBU. I saw a ridiculous thread on here about a year ago where the OP was adamant that she wasn't going to re-home her cat, even though her baby was severely allergic to it. I really don't understand how people can lose their sense of perspective like that.

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 04/07/2012 17:26

Sometimes having a child is a good reason to rehome a dog.
I have not done it but I have had to consider it.
When we agreed to care for DS2 as a family foster placement it was touch and go whether we could keep our dogs. Our very much loved and cared for dogs.

He has the most terrible eczema and is allergic to dogs and cats.
I had to put the needs of a traumatized, tiny, vulnerable baby before my own and before those of the dogs even though they would have been unlikely to be rehomed successfully.

It was also a consideration when my DD was dx with cancer.

But I hung on and still have one of them (the other died aged about 300 years old). But the work that goes into keeping them AND keeping my DS well is immense.
I have to hoover twice a day, including mattresses and under furniture, damp dust at least once a day, bath the dogs etc etc.

Its getting easier now he is older and more resiliant. He is also more 'used' to our dogs. We took him to a caravan that allowed pets and he reacted so badly to the hair/dander of the previous dogs that he ended up in A&E.

Nothing can prepare you for how protective you feel about your new baby and if they have additional needs you sometimes have to make difficult decisions.

Personally I would rather rehome an animal with someone who can care for them properly than hang on to the animal and half care for them because of lack of time/energy.
Far better to have one traumatic period than years of neglect - even if they are loved.

That C&P on FB had me . Far too simplistic.

Fecklessdizzy · 04/07/2012 17:30

Our much-missed OldFatCat was inherited from a friend after he spectacularly failed to adapt to sharing the house with her new husband and his foul hound ... Poor bugger pulled all his hair out and started spraying everywhere ( cat that is, not husband )

Her loss was our gain and he ruled the roost chez Feckless for a decade and even started his own religion!

SmellsLikeTeenStrop · 04/07/2012 17:39

YANBU, at one point DH and I were 2 weeks away from rehoming our dog. I was pregnant at that time and DH and I were struggling to cope with a dog who was completely unhouse trained. Without giving too much info away, she was a rescue animal but we didn't get her through a proper dog rescue place.

She poo'd constantly. DH would have mess to clear up when he got up in the morning, I'd get up an hour later after DH had gone to work and there'd be more mess to clean up. We'd walk her in the evening and she'd poo outside, but frequently DH and I would be watching TV and we'd smell something nasty and she'd done it again.

We'd tried everything to train her out of this and nothing had worked, then out of desperation we turned to cage training and it worked - so we kept her. If that hadn't have worked we would have got rid of her because it was just so stressful having her in the house and I didn't want that with a new baby.

Elefant1 · 04/07/2012 17:40

YANBU. Responsible owners take on a pet knowing to the best of their knowledge that they will be able to keep it for life but we can't see into the future, lots can happen in 15 years. If life takes an unexpected turn it can be best for owner and pet for a new home to be found.

EndoplasmicReticulum · 04/07/2012 17:42

I rehomed my cats. We had an unforseen move, from a house with a garden to a first-floor flat with no outdoor space on a busy main road.

I thought rehoming was probably better for them than a) never being allowed out or b) being squashed by a car.

Moominsarescary · 04/07/2012 17:45

I had a cat from the age of 4 who tbh wasn't the friendliest of cats but I loved him. When I was 7 we all moved into my gp shop while my mum and dad saved for a house in a better area.

When I was 10 we moved again and the cat came with us. A week later when we let him out he went missing. He turned up 3 days later at my gp a little worse for wear.

They moved about 3 years later and the people who bought the shop kept him and he lived happily to a ripe old age

cory · 04/07/2012 17:46

Might there not be times when rehoming a cat or dog at the arrival of a child is the right thing to do for the dog's sake? Some animals react really badly to a new family member and become seriously unhappy.

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 04/07/2012 17:55

I too, re-homed an animal because of my child. In our case it was a cat and, like some else said upthread, our DD turned out to be highly allergic to the cat. She was allergic to the point of being hospitalised several times with breathing difficulties and she was constantly on steroids due to the lack of control ove rher symptoms.. We tried every method known to man before taking the decision to re-home but in the end had no choice. It was DD's health or the cat, sad to say the cat lost.

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