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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is a bit unhelpful/difficult?

21 replies

KellyElly · 04/07/2012 14:34

My aunt lives in London, as do I, and she's alway wants me and my daughter to stay for the night rather than just visit for a few hours. I would personally rather go home and sleep in our own beds as we are only 40 mins on the tube from each other. To accomodate the sleeping arrangements I bought a second travel cot which they keep at their house for when we stayed as mine is too heavy to lug across london with all our other bits.

My daughter is now too big for it so I have bought a bed guard they can use and keep and am pretty skint so I need to sell the travel cot. I sent a text saying that I'd put the cot on ebay and make sure the person who bought it came at a time convenient to them to pick up and got a text back saying 'oh no, you'll have to arrange to get it home. I don't want people coming to the house.' Now she knows I don't drive and will have to arrange a lift or pay £35 in a cab to get home. The strangest thing is she sells stuff on ebay and has people come to pick it up from the house!?

Is it just me or is she being a bit difficult considering the only reason I ever forked out for two travel cots is because SHE wanted us to stay overnight every time we visit.

OP posts:
ChristianGreyIsAJackass · 04/07/2012 14:37

Yanbu!

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 04/07/2012 14:38

She is allowed to say she doesn't want people to come to the house, just as you coud have said that you don't want to stay over.

How difficult would it be for you to arrange a lift or to visit for a couple of hours then carry the travel cot home?

Nagoo · 04/07/2012 14:40

why are you staying when you don't want to?

she sounds like an arse.

PoppyWearer · 04/07/2012 14:40

Could she sell the cot on eBay for you and make the arrangements with the buyer, in return for some of the profits?

They're very heavy, it's not reasonable to expect you to transport it.

Aworryingtrend · 04/07/2012 14:41

YANBU to want to sell the cot but YWBU not to have checked with her first that it would be alright for people to come and view it before listing it on ebay.

Original poster
KellyElly · 04/07/2012 14:45

Nagoo she practically insists. I'd rather not cart all my DDs stuff over as at her age they come with masses of things and do a day visit but she gets offended if I say no.

PoppyWearer I could ask her but as she didn't offer that and was quite abrupt I'm thinking it will be a no. I wouldn't see what the difference would be who sells it as someone would still have to come to the house. The thing I don't get is that she has people coming to pick up ebay stuff anyway. Maybe she thinks my buyers are shady characters Confused. They are always nice mums when it comes to kids stuff in my experience of ebay.

OP posts:
Original poster
KellyElly · 04/07/2012 14:46

Aworryingtrend I haven't listed it. I texted her to let her know that was my plan and waited for her to get back to me.

OP posts:
catus · 04/07/2012 14:50

YANBU.

Original poster
KellyElly · 04/07/2012 14:50

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos I wouldn't be able to carry it home. Two tube lines with no step free access and a toddler in tow. I would have to ask a friend for a lift she lives the other side of London and would be a two/three hour round trip for her which is a big ask as she has a young baby. My other friends don't have cars and my family don't like in London. I'll probably have to ask my ex (DDs dad) but don't really want to as he is the only other person with a car.

OP posts:
Original poster
KellyElly · 04/07/2012 14:50

*live in London

OP posts:
PoppyWearer · 04/07/2012 14:59

I agree OP, have sold lots of baby stuff myself and bought and encountered nothing but nice mums. V odd of her.

RaPaPaPumPum · 04/07/2012 15:03

She sounds a somewhat odd... and as if everything has to be on her terms.

Could you just ask her to ebay the cot for you? Maybe she wants to be able to vet buyers that will come to the house herself?

Otherwise I would put it on ebay and arrange with your buyer to pick it up at your Aunt's house at a time when you will be there - so buyer doesn't even have to come in, you can handover on the street.

But really, I would also be laying down my own boundaries with your darling Aunt. She sounds a bit controlling and manipulative in her insistance that you stay at her house. If it doesn't suit you say No. And if she keeps insisting keep broken recording her - Sorry Aunt but it's not possible/practical.

Good luck!

MAYBELATERNOWIMBUSY · 04/07/2012 15:14

IT"S not you, she is being VERY unreasonable

Original poster
KellyElly · 04/07/2012 15:26

RaPaPaPumPum she is a bit. I invite her over to mine but she never comes or agrees and cancels. Considering she drives, doesn't work and doesn't have a toddler it would be a lot easier for her to come to me but some people are just like that. I think you're right and its time for me to stop trying to be polite and have her accomadate me for a change.

OP posts:
slartybartfast · 04/07/2012 15:30

hmm, ask her, to bring it to you by car - no way should you be taking it in a taxi

slartybartfast · 04/07/2012 15:31

maybe speak to her rather than text, i can see whyshe woulndt want strangers come to the house so if you just ask her to bring it to yours. prblem solved

Original poster
KellyElly · 04/07/2012 16:03

slartybartfast no way would she drive to me. When I was in hospital she had my dd for one night as dds dad had to work that night and he had to get his dad to pick dd up in the morning as she said my house was too far to drive to and she might get lost! (its a max 45 min journey and close to a very well known and well signposted part of London). She is just one of those people who don't like to be put out under any circumstance. I should ask her just to see the look on her face :) She would think I had a cheek lol.

OP posts:
HoneyDragonWearingLederhosen · 04/07/2012 16:09

Sell the bed guard recoup your money that way and stop visiting.
UANBU

MummytoKatie · 04/07/2012 16:20

Can you take the bed guard back? In which case I'd do that and then not stay as you don't have a guard and can't afford one until you sell the cot.

She wants you to stay. She can decide if she'd rather have the undesirables over or have you go home.

Original poster
KellyElly · 04/07/2012 16:43

MummytoKatie I can just keep the bed guard and use when we stay with friends. That's a good plan. I will say can't afford a bed guard until I sell the cot so we can't stay :)

OP posts:
DontmindifIdo · 04/07/2012 16:46

You need to stop letting her control your relationship with her completely. So you don't stay over now. Just leave, if she wants you to stay over, she can get a bed guard, as she hasn't got one and you can't afford it, you are going to leave every time you visit. If that doesn't work for her, then you don't visit.

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