To hope my relative gets adopted.

[turbo1]

One of my distant relatives was removed from her so-called parents on an ICO last year. I was in part responsible for this when I found the dad in charge of the pram totally off his head on drink and drugs and phoned SS.
Prior to adoption the SS are assessing family members to see if they are suitable to take the baby. The only problem is my SIL and BIL have put themselves forward. I have told SS that I have seen my BIL punch their 5 year old daughter in the head but they cannot take this farther as they need evidence of this. They live on benefits not that I am judgmental of this and have 2 cars, a smart TV they have bought on pay weekly for over £2000 and my BIL is getting a motorbike. The children are always dressed in the same tatty clothes, they are being fed on jam sandwiches and are just about to have their water cut off as they are £500 in arrears. Plus they cannot afford heating. My SIL has depression (again I am not judgmental of this) and they both have learning difficulties. Apparently they stand a good chance of getting this baby. I feel horrible as I love my SIL (not my violent BIL) and just want this child adopted. Am I being a total cow?

Ah so you're not directly related to the abusive scumbag then, that's a relief - so if your SIL did leave him, you'd never have to see him again. I hope you can help her to get to that point.

Smellslike - read the thread.

No you are looking after this child's best interest.
The process of adopting a child is long and complex and requires a huge amount of assessments. If they are as bad as you say, they won't be approved.

Am always surprised when grandparents of feckless parent are given the grandchild as their childrearing produced the feckless parent in the first place.

How do you know all this, the arrears and the jam sandwiches? You seem to know an awful lot.

The only thing you could do is step up yourself. Or speak to SS

@secretplace

I know this because I talk to my sil and the last time I was there I took my niece out to get her a birthday present. I witnessed her being fed the sandwich and then once she got in our car she started moaning she was hungry. Plus anyone can see she is as thin as a stick.

The best outcome has already been achieved, the judge has placed the baby for adoption.

I fully agree with you op, there are children in my family who I believe should have been adopted out but were fought for by certain family members who were desperate to 'keep them in the family'
as a result they are now extremely damaged children due to the fact that their mother hasn't been kept out of ttheir lives and they have witnessed things they shouldn't have.

The mother has one remaining child with her who will become my responsibility should the mother go back down the road of drugs or if her schizophrenia becomes unmanageable :(

That is what bothered me-even though the parents were only supposed to have a few hours a week access, my SIL and BIL were going to give them unlimited access and would have probably left them unsupervised too. They are not responsible enough to adopt this child and I am glad the judge agrees.