Do I need to get a grip? Am I being a spoilt brat?

[cheekypickle]

Come out of hospital for bi polar 2 months ago

Got depressed being a SAHM, begged to go back to work.

Now I'm back at work I hate it. Now want to work part time but have already committed to being full time.

So I don't want to be SAHM, don't want to go to work either.

Want to see DD but get anxious when I look after her for long periods.

Had DD this morning she's now at childminders, I'm sat here feeling sorry for myself when I should be enjoying myself/ getting on with housework.

I think I'm depressed

Hi cheekypickle, I'm sorry to hear that. I can't help or comment as I don't have an understanding of bi polar so am unsure of what you're going through. Also AIBU can be a little harsh at times, can I suggest you repost this on one of the health boards. There will be some lovely people there who can talk to you with understanding.
Best wishes :)

My honest opinion is switch the computer off, get the houswork done, which will at least give you the feeling of having acheived something today.

What are your plans for the rest of the day?

It is so easy to get sidetracked, spend the day faffing about on the internet, then suddenly notice the time and realise you have wasted the day. I have done this myself so often and it really does have a bad effect on you if you are prone to depression/mood swings etc.

Sounds like going part-time and getting in a bit more support would be the best way to go. What harm can it do to ask if you can go part-time? If you don't ask, you don't get.

How much support at home are you getting? It sounds to me like a visit to your psychiatrist might be a good idea. Do you have a support worker or a CPN you can speak to? someone to talk to who can help lift you up when you are besieged by doubts could really help.

Bi-polar is a horrible illness and you've done amazingly to come out of hospital and get back to work so soon. Stop being so hard on yourself. Few people get excited about doing housework and you're still readjusting to things. It's normal to worry.

Hope you feel better soon.

You sound incredibly anxious all round, and that can't be helping you to think clearly.

Your anxiety about many aspects of your life seem to be presenting as a kind of over-anxiety about your daughter and her care (which from all of your recent posts on the subject seems pretty well thought out by the way ).

When you were discharged from the hospital, did they put support in place? A local community MH team or something?

It might be worth talking things through with them, just so that you can get a sense of perspective, and whittle down what it is that you are so anxious about. After what you've been through, you're bound to feel a bit 'out on a limb', and perhaps they can help you to rationalise that.

I suppose that your meds are being reviewed often? 8 weeks is a very short time in the scheme of things.

OP as I said on your numerous other threads, I don't think you are anywhere near well enough to be coping with going back to work and I think you need to speak to your support team asap.

I really agree with squeakytoy. I am sat here on mn, know I have got loads to do but also feel slightly depressed for no reason.

Once the computer is off I seem to perk up. When it goes off line it can be annoying but also liberating! I then actually get things done.

I have no experience with bi-polar, but I really think that part time would be a good compromise. You can only try

Good luck

cheeky.....I have no knowledge of bi-polar so could not possibly comment...but have suffered & still do at times with anxiety & low moods. I have had to devise an 'action plan' for mine & my DS day so that not only do I get 'my time' to browse MN, emails etc..but I also 'schedule' in play-time, housework, activities etc. it's not a rigid timetable.....there are no set times for each 'action' & each day is different. It gives a sense of achievement when all my 'actions' are done in a day.
I would advise chatting with the doctor & seeking support.

I wrote this on your coping with your daughter thread:

Maybe what you need is a back to basics. Instead of doing CM five days of the week, cut back to two and hire a ST nanny to be with you. Or hire a nanny for the whole holidays. Or just have someone who can be in the home with you so you can observer how they care for DD and who can gently help you ease back into caring for your DD while gaining confidence.

Do you have a husband? I can't remember if you have said that you did. Where's he in all this?

squeakytoy fab post :) you've inspired me greatly.