WWYD about nits and discos and telling people....?

[TheOriginalSteamingNit]

Ok, it is dd's induction day at secondary today. She is then going off with a friend to her house straight afterwards to get ready for the y6 Leavers' Disco.

She wanted her fringe straightening this morning and what should I see in it but a bloody goddam fucking nit. No way she's missing the induction day, but luckily it didn't start until 9.50 so have Nitty Gritty'd her hair and tied it up firmly, and not seen any more of the little bastards.

My feeling is that I should do the following: text friend's mum and say I found one, say that dd would be mortified for her dd and the other friend who will be there to know, she has her own hairbrush with her and she will make sure she doesn't borrow any hair things or get too close - oh and you may want to check your dd if nits are about at the mo.

Is that unreasonable, and if so what else can I do? I know there is a risk that she might tell her dd anyway - as mine said 'if Friend's Mum texted you that Friend had nits, would you tell me, though?' and I had to accept that actually I might (because I do trust dd not to say anything to anyone else) - but not so sure others would manage to keep quiet.

I don't see that I could have not sent her to induction day, or the disco - am I doing the right thing, for her and everyone else though? She has been looking forward to both with an excitement not usually seen other than on Christmas Eve....

A nit? Or a head louse?

The nit is the egg...

Sorry - a louse! I always forget that distinction...

As long as your DD knows how important it is not to touch heads with her friend, etc., I'd leave it until tomorrow and tell the two friends' mums then. Even if they do tell their DDs, it will save your DD the embarrassment of it all coming out at the induction day or disco. There's no shame in having lice though. They're not a reflection on personal hygiene or anything (unless you're crawling with them because no one can be arsed to do anything about it!). One of the friends may be the person your DD has caught the lice from in the first place!

It's also worth remembering that it's actually quite unusual for lice to be passed on through hair accessories and brushes. Likewise, whether hair is tied up or down makes very little difference since healthy lice (capable of laying eggs) will nearly always stay near the warmth of the scalp, rather than travelling up and down the hair shaft. Most lice are passed on through direct head-to-head contact. I'd check your own...

Lice are a pain though. You have my sympathy.

Thank you dahlen, I think that's a good idea, and thanks for the sympathy - yep, they're a PITA!

Yes, I know they're not a dirty-hair thing (both mine have had them a few times over the years!) - but I also know that 11 year old girls may not be so sensible in their attitudes.

OMG I can't believe you are making such a big thing about ONE fucking headlouse!

My dd constantly has the little buggers, and I am constantly de-nitting her hair. They are so common. The is nothing to be ashamed about.

I really hope that you didn't even contemplate not sending her on the induction day. TOTAL over reaction.

Headlice are not the frigging plague!!

No, Kerry, I didn't contemplate not sending her, as you can see from the OP. I am not ashamed and nor is she but I wondered whether another mum might be annoyed at not having known, and I also feel slightly worried, 11 year olds being what they are, that at some point in what is a big day for her meeting new people that some little charmer will say 'uuuurgh that kid's got nits'.

Both my girls have had them several times, of course it is no shame but children can be silly, wouldn't you agree?

As there are lots of mums on mumsnet, I thought it would be useful to ask what they would prefer in the situation of the other mother.

Kerryblue that was totally unnecessary.

TheOriginal wasn't overreacting - she was showing consideration to ohters. I'd hope that everyone would think that this was the correct course of action.

If your DD keeps getting reinfested I think you ought to recnsider your delousing strategies.

Fair enough but personally I seriously would not even mention it to anyone. I would also not expect another mum to tell me about their child having a nit.

What could I do?

You have done your best to make sure there are none for her big day. Cool. Leave it at that.

Thanks Greta.

Kerry I thought it might be courteous. Knowing the other mum, I think it quite likely that she would give me the heads-up (ha!) if the situation were reversed.

Not really unnecessary. Just my instant reaction to the op.

Reinfestation with my dd, I am sure, comes from a set of twins in her class who are constantly crawling with them.

So - normal all the way, check head again quickly when I pick up, don't say anything, do we think?

I probably wouldn't say anything at all actually. That might be (probably is) completely the wrong thing to do but I'd be selfish in this situation. The thing is, if your daughter has them to the extent that the eggs have hatched then the chances are her friends from the same school also have them at the moment. And their mums may have already noticed. Or they will soon enough.

Lice are everywhere.

I would do exactly what you have done so far but I would also tell the other mum but only if she's sensable

I can see both sides now really - don't want to make a big deal, don't want to be sneaky either!

I did half-fear that someone would be along to say that it's people like me sending their lousy children to induction days and discos that cause all the nits though, so I think I've got off quite lightly!

I wouldn't say anything. Worst possible time to embarrass your daughter.