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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think how can she be so bloody stupid

100 replies

cuteboots · 04/07/2012 09:27

Ok so this women in our office admitted that she lets her 8 year old play on his xbox using games for an 18 year old. She then said he can only play on them for a short lenght of time each day as his behaviour changes! Duhhhhh

OP posts:
IawnCont · 04/07/2012 11:41

"You seem to be projecting on a child the level of understanding you yourself as an adult has. " ASIDE: I would like to apologise to all Mumsnetters for that poorly constructed sentence.

Nagoo · 04/07/2012 11:42

I just think that there are a billion age-appropriate games, so why are they playing ones with blood and guts and swearing in?

There's no need for it. With films, you can watch it first, and assess it. With a game, you can't possibly play out every scene before they do.

ChaoticismyLife · 04/07/2012 11:43

You can't eliminate all bad influences out of a child's life but why introduce those that can be avoided.

Personally I'd have no problem with a 16 year old playing an 18 rated game but not a 8 year old.

BupcakesandCunting · 04/07/2012 11:43

It's not even lazy parenting, it's not parenting at all. It's allowing them to have what they like for an easy life. Frankly, I think you'd have to be a bit of a pleb to not understand that somewhere along the line, children playing this shit are being impacted by it.

Dahlen · 04/07/2012 11:45

Doing age-inappropriate stuff is a rite of passage, but it's a question of degrees IMO. And I can't see anyway of altering the fact that this is age inappropriate by 10 years, not just 2 or 3.

Repeated exposure to something desensitises people. Watching violence on a regular basis makes it less shocking. That's not a good thing in a young person who is still discovering and building their attitudes and values.

Lottapianos · 04/07/2012 11:45

'And when he does kick off at school she'll say "oh but if I take the game away he throws a tantrum" as though that makes it all ok '

YANBU OP. Call it judgy pants or whatever but I'm with you. It's downright neglectful, can't-be-arsed, everyone-else-will-sort-my-kid-out, irresponsible parenting. There's plenty of it around Hmm

I also judged (in my head) the mother I saw at the bus stop feeding her two little kids chocolate bars for breakfast this morning Hmm

imnotmymum · 04/07/2012 11:46

Oh well Iawn I have bought up a SS who is nearly 19, and am bringing up 3DDs and my DS all are fantastic kids. I have bought them up all in the same way and the 19 year old has done brilliantly at Uni first year, has a lovely Girlfriend and his a lovely lad. I believe that everything balanced (btw does not play his console daily and does not play this game regularly, I was just making the point at the time) and really communication.

thebestisyettocome · 04/07/2012 11:47

She sounds like a complete tit. I hate parents like this. And yes, I do judge. She deserves it...

anklebitersmum · 04/07/2012 11:49

My eldest doesn't play violent type 15 games and he's nearly 13. It's not hard..the rating is there for a reason and the reason is it's not suitable viewing.

I popped in to his friends house to give him a change of clothes (sleepover) and he was sat in the front room having 'his turn' on Grand theft auto Vice city while friend and sister of said friend watched, encouraging him to beat someone up. Sister couldn't have been much beyond 4.

Quite frankly I was horrified, while friend's Mum said 'it's just a game' and didn't see the problem. DS was removed from the premises.

Prissy? Uptight? Prudish? Judgemental?

Yup, damn skippy I am.

BupcakesandCunting · 04/07/2012 11:54

They aren't "just games" though are they, anklebiter? I totally agree with you.

I allow DS (5) to play on the Lego Star Wars game on the PS2. Even though it is age-appropriate for him he still comes off it pretending to chop his teddy's heads off with his light sabre Blush so I have severly restricted his use of it. Fuck knows what it would do to him if he was able to play shit like GTA :(

IawnCont · 04/07/2012 11:54

I'm sure your children are lovely imnotmymum. But to let him play a game which is 10 years too old for him is not a kind thing to do IMO. Dahlen has it- These games desensitise you. They have no benefit. I honestly don't understand why you would take the risk that they may affect him.

The reason I feel quite strongly about this is that I've experienced it myself. I had a bit of an obsession with Vice City (didn't play it very often, but really enjoyed it). I didn't become violent, or horrible, or mean. But I suddenly realised I was starting to drive too fast, as I did in the game. I hadn't even thought about it- It had seeped into real life completely subconsciously.

BupcakesandCunting · 04/07/2012 11:54

I did chuckle at "removed from the premises" Grin

WhosPickleisThatOnion · 04/07/2012 11:54

YANBU - some of them are AWFUL.

Lottapianos · 04/07/2012 11:57

'while friend's Mum said 'it's just a game' and didn't see the problem'

This translates as 'it keeps the kids out of my hair for a while and means I don't have to bother supervising them, while I get on with something much more interesting'

Good for you for removing DS from the premises anklebitersmum - I have visions of you frogmarching him out and call him 'young man'. Fine by me if you did by the way Grin

valiumredhead · 04/07/2012 11:59

GTA is such a nasty game that a lot of really hard core gamers I know dislike it. Vile game.

anklebitersmum · 04/07/2012 12:01

Bupcakesandcunting we have occasional 'star wars lego' related teddy violence here too as the middle 2 are 6 & 7. Blush

worldgonecrazy · 04/07/2012 12:02

YANBU - and ^^ to what all the sensible and sane people on this thread have written.

WhosPickleisThatOnion · 04/07/2012 12:02

Thats what I was thinking of valium my nephew asked for it and I informed my sister how vile it was, he is only 9. She didnt get it.

anklebitersmum · 04/07/2012 12:03

do I know you in RL Lottapianos?

Lottapianos · 04/07/2012 12:07

I don't think so anklebitersmum - I don't think I know anyone with children those ages. You sound cool though! Grin

anklebitersmum · 04/07/2012 12:09

It was just you had me down to a tee :o

Losingitall · 04/07/2012 13:36

"Allowing your young child to watch games like that is child abuse, they are too young to rationalise what they are seeing"

Really? Child abuse??

This makes me so bloody Angry

girlpancake · 04/07/2012 13:39

Yanbu. Experienced professionals spend a lot of time looking at those games before they rate them. I am happy to go with their judgement. You should hear Tanya Byron on the subject

Empusa · 04/07/2012 13:51

"I just think that there are a billion age-appropriate games, so why are they playing ones with blood and guts and swearing in? "

^This!

valiumredhead · 04/07/2012 14:24

Haven't heard TB talk about them but I can imagine!