To find looking after daughter really hard

[cheekypickle]

She's 11months and I have her for the morning. Don't know what I'm doing ! Shes happy playing away though. Do I need to chill out a bit?!

I found this age a bit hard too, my DS was happy playing by himself and would even look at me a bit crossly sometimes if I interrupted him but always felt bad if I was letting him be and getting on with other things! As others have said, the fact you are worried says you are a good mum, but please don't let it get you down. I have just read your other thread and you are having a rough time. Take it easy on yourself!

I'm having a rough time of it you're right. Wish I could snap out of being so anxious!

It's normal to worry a bit cheeky but they are so happy playing around. Sometimes I think right I'll spend the next hour playing and he dosent want to know!

You won't snap out of it but it will gradually fade and fade until you realise that you're feeling comfortable and secure. Be kind and stop asking so much of yourself, you've been through a lot and it takes time to get better. Sounds to me like you're doing brilliantly.

Please get some help cheeky from reading all your posts recently it seems you could really do with some :)

I've been there ( not with the same concern) but your questions mimic mine when I had severe anxiety...

Maybe see your GP again? :)

When mine were little we had a big table in the kitchen & we use to put the playpen on the table so Dd's could see all round & I would chat to them while I did the chores, lobbing things back into them, playing peekaboo, it killed a happy hour or so & got some boring stuff done. Only for about an hour or so, it was a wooden one with open bars & they loved it. So easy for keeping them safe.

You can keep up a running commentary of what you're doing & count things, sing songs etc. They just love the reasurance of your voice!

Have a chat with your HV if you are worried about your feelings.

Can I suggest maybe get off the Internet and spend time with her. And please find some real life help. You seem to post in AIBU almost every day with a similar thread. You are obviously struggling, are you getting any help or support?

What about friends/family? Is there anyone who you could meet up with for a walk or a playdate? Perhaps if you saw how others interact with their children it might help. Babies grow up so quickly and it seems you are missing out on a chunk of your dd's life, which I think is sad for both of you, especially if you dread the time you do spend with her. It's not easy, nor always enjoyable looking after kids. But it can be fun and rewarding if you can relax and enjoy it.

Whereabouts are you? Have you thought about mumsnet local meet ups?

My DD is 11 months and she's currently destroying the playroom, she's had every toy out and is now starting on the DVDs. Shes occasionally coming to me for a kiss or to bring me a book to read to her, but mostly happy just to potter about on her own. Nothing wring with a lazy morning!

Maybe what you need is a back to basics. Instead of doing CM five days of the week, cut back to two and hire a ST nanny to be with you. Or hire a nanny for the whole holidays. Or just have someone who can be in the home with you so you can observer how they care for DD and who can gently help you ease back into caring for your DD while gaining confidence.

Do you have a husband? I can't remember if you have said that you did. Where's he in all this?