CM (or someone) feeding my DD random stuff

[WifiNappies]

DD is 9mo and been with a CM since last week. The CM has a policy of not providing meals so we send a pack up for lunch and plenty of snacks. This is so "you can see what and how much she has eaten" but also obviously saves her doing it and probably makes her a bit cheaper too.

DD is a great eater - eats all before her and mostly feeds herself - and I've gone to great pains to try and ensure this, but last week she was coming back having hardly touched anything. Not even fruit which she loves, tbh it looked like it hadn't even been tried, and a lot of the snacky stuff was still unopened in packet. I came to the conclusion that she was having too much milk (which to be fair she probably was) so dropped a bottle over the weekend.

One evening the CM remarked that she had given DD a biscuit at snack time so she wasn't left out as the other children were having one. I was a bit about it especially as there were healthier biscuity type equivalents in her lunchbox but I thought perhaps we hadn't packed her enough food but when I looked in her bag it was all still there.

Yesterday she came home stinking of tomato ketchup so god knows what that was about, and tonight I have found weird flat oval undigested things in her nappy - like giant kidney beans or Minstrels!

Now I accept the other kids could be feeding her stuff but I don't understand this policy if she is going to just feed her other stuff regardless.

I am a bit of a food nazi so I don't know if I'm being unreasonable to be pissed off about this or if I just have to accept it as part of her being in someone else's care all day.

Should I say something or just leave it or what? I'm not very assertive but I would mention it if consensus here is that I ought to.

Ffs just had to type this twice as mn went offline sorry if it appears twice!

At 9 mo I would have really cared. DD had no refined sugar and crap like that at that age. Now, at 18 mo the CM gave her a doughnut last week and I couldn't care less.

How does your childminder tell you how much/ what your DD has eaten/ times etc?

I am a CM and all children have a daily diary, I have a 3 weeks rolling menu or parents can send a packed lunch but either way I write down exactly what each child has eaten and when (not as time consuming as it sounds as they all eat together at set times usually) could you suggest this? Maybe give CM a note book and ask her and give concerns over DD not eating enough as a reason?

I think that seems rather off of your CM to be honest.

If she has asked you to provide all her food surely this is what your child should be eating ?? and you know what she likes so I am assuming you pack her stuff that she thinks is yummy?

I think you need to have a word with your CM as something is not right here.

Maybe she's been off her food a bit if she only started with the cm last week, just ask her

Also, other kids shouldn't be feeding her stuff and your CM should be watching for this. At 9mo your DD may have undiscovered allergies etc!

Seems weird that she is not feeding the stuff you provide, but is giving other things. I'd call the CM for a proper discussion about it.

I think you need to chat with your CM. But I also would not read too much into the contents of nappies. Weird shit can be quite literally that, I definitely wouldn't assume that stuff that looks like Minstrels is actually Minstrels. Afterall breastfed babies aren't fed a diet of pure mustard...

At 9 months as a I wouldn't be giving biscuits etc without permission.

I have a 10 month old mindee and she brings pack up but last week she tried some potato, ham and strawberries with the others but I had asked mum if she could. Also she has a biscuit at snack time at the playgroup we go to but mum ok'd this. Just ask her to use the snacks you provide.

You are a client, the CM is providing a service. The CM and you need to negotiate and agree what happens re. food and then the CM must stick to that agreement.

I'd leave a CM if this issue continued tbh, because it is about trust as much as the individual food items.

The more I think about it the more unhappy I am, about the biscuit thing really. She SHOULD only be having what we approved. She's never had refined sugar or added salt or anything, and yes I pack her stuff she loves.

We HAVE now analysed the nappy contents (DH insisted, he's weird like that) and it was halved cherries that we gave her

She doesn't do a diary, I wish she did and I never realised that CMs did that. She just runs through the day when we pick DD up and we can see what she left because its sent home in her lunchbox.

I need to check that she's not feeding her biscuits every afternoon...

Bit of a derail but....

"Weird shit can be literally that."

Absolutely brilliant!

Was cm. all food eaten is recorded and sent in daily diary.

No children in my setting fed each other, how bizarre concept as choking issues etc.

Your cm should be providing daily verbal and written diaries in all this sort of thing.

Is she ofsted registered. Sounds sloppy practise to me.

Yanbu and what on earth can the weird flat things be???

Everything thebody said, diaries aren't absolutely essential but are seen as good practice.

She sounds a crap cm to me. Mine was too - just before we agreed to part, she let it slip that she had been binning my painfully expressed breast milk because it separated so looked off. She wouldn't follow any of my instructions because she thought she knew better than me - I was pfb, I admit, but she did things like put her in a front-facing car seat at 6 months, and was constantly telling me what drinking cup dd should have (literally every time I picked her up she would make a comment).

Honestly, if you can't trust her to do the simple stuff, I would look for someone else.

Could weird flat things be raisins, btw?

Im thinking the weird flat things could be rehydrated raisins?

The most important thing that you need to have with your childminder is communication. If you can't speak to her about your issues then you need to find a new one!