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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a little bit annoyed with my sister

28 replies

goodiegoodieyumyum · 03/07/2012 12:56

On Sunday I went on to Moonpig to create a birthday card for nephew, I found one I thought he would like it is a spoof magazine with Australian Footballers on the front and needs for me to upload to photos. As he loves Aussie Rules I think he would love the card.

I skyped my sister and asked her if she could send me some photos, I needed two and could one of them be of my nephew in his football jumper. She said she would do it that night and would probably have to take a photo of him. I told that so long as I got it by the middle of the week that would be fine.

I recieved an email from my BIL with a tiny photo on it of my nephew in his basketball top, I could not download it so emailed back I couldn't use it He sent another back wich I could download to my computer.

Am I being unreasonable to think it would have taken a minute for my nephew to put his jumper on and take a photo, and another to download and email to me or is it too much to expect.

I have been in trouble in the past for not sending cards, live in a country where it is hard to get birthday cards in English which is why I normally use moonpig.

The most recent phots of my niece and nephew are nearly two years old and are ones we took when they visited us last, my sister never sends us photos

OP posts:
imnotmymum · 03/07/2012 12:58

Do you know it makes you wonder why we bother !! Send an e-card !! yanbu

MidWeekSlump · 03/07/2012 12:58

I think you are being a little unreasonable. If a relative asked me to drop everything and send them a picture of my child in a certain outfit in the next day or so I'd probably explode as I am in the middle of a very busy week.
(obviously why I am currently on here)

Byeckerslike · 03/07/2012 12:59

Did she know what it was for? Perhaps she asked your bil to do it and he didnt listen?
perhaps she is busy, i wouldnt be annoyed though! Just call her, or use the basketball one?

Icelollycraving · 03/07/2012 13:00

Yabu. Perhaps she is very busy?
I do understand you wanting to do something nice though.

MerryMarigold · 03/07/2012 13:00

YABU in my opinion. You are doing something nice for his birthday. It takes more than 1 min to get a kid into a top, take a photo and then download and then email it. I've been meaning to download some pics for ages and haven't got round to it.

I think the personalised card is a great idea...but maybe getting his parents to put lots of work in is not.

boredandrestless · 03/07/2012 13:01

If my sister asked me to do this I would tell her I can't be arsed /can't find camera USB cable/ DS's football shirt was covered in mud, and to just choose a different card! She probably wouldn't ask in the first place though.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 03/07/2012 13:02

YABU - you are the one who wants to do the card........I thought the whole point of doing a personalised card was for a nice surprise......surely you have some pictures of your DN somewhere you could use.

When I do stuff with moonpig I wouldnt dream of asking that person to send me a photo, I just work with that I have got.

MerryMarigold · 03/07/2012 13:02

My sis definitely wouldn't ask. She is far too considerate and would 'find a way'. You sound a bit high maintenance OP!

Original poster
goodiegoodieyumyum · 03/07/2012 13:02

I didn't ask my sister to drop everything, I asked if she had a recent photo of nephew in his football jumper, she said she didn't and offered to take one, she said she would do it that night, i said if I am going to do the card I will need it by the middle of the week.

If she had said no that would have been fine.

Considering I moved house for her while she was on Holidays twice I don't think it a big ask.

OP posts:
imnotmymum · 03/07/2012 13:05

But it takes 30 seconds to take a photo. Merry she is far too considerate ?? She is asking for a photo not blood !! I asked my in laws for photos of DH for a card was I being inconsiderate???

Original poster
goodiegoodieyumyum · 03/07/2012 13:09

I haven't seen my nephew in nearly two years Betty and I wanted to use a recent photo, I share photos with my family it would be nice if my sister did the same thing.

OP posts:
DuelingFanjo · 03/07/2012 13:16

so is this about the card and the photo or more about your relationship with your sister in general?

littleducks · 03/07/2012 13:23

i would find it a complete PITA, but then I wouldnt have offered to do it, as I dont think my kids would appreciate the effort!

imnotmymum · 03/07/2012 13:25

Really, my kids would have loved it.

PenisVanLesbian · 03/07/2012 13:34

it doesn't take 30 seconds to take a photo for all of us. It would take fuck knows how long to find the camera (and the jersey), then charge it, then find the lead to upload it to the laptop, then email it.
If my sister asked me to do that just so she could send a card, I'd probably do it, but I'd grumble and I wouldn't rush.

JayelleBee · 03/07/2012 13:39

When I do moonpig cards, I pinch the pics from facebook. HTH

VolAuVent · 03/07/2012 14:20

YABU

Pixieonthemoor · 03/07/2012 14:29

YOU want to do this so you are demanding that THEY drop everything, get him changed (where is the top? Is it clean? Ironed?) find the camera (is it working? Charged?), take the photo, download it (where is the cable? Has it downloaded properly?) and email it to you (has it attached properly? will it work?).

Now you are throwing a strop because it hasn't worked?

Totally U. You sound like hard work.

imnotmymum · 03/07/2012 14:55

She did not ask them to drop everything (do not know OP but feel like defending her )and sis agreed. If there was a problem with camera etc then Sis should just have said "Oh we do not have time/camera/child..." Nor do i think she stropping ! Why is she hard work she just wanted to send a card ona subject her Nephew loved for his Bday.

Original poster
goodiegoodieyumyum · 03/07/2012 15:15

Sorry had to go and pick up DD

Ok I shouldn't be annoyed, I don't how I am hard work, she could have said no, but if she has time to play words with friends with me, surely she has five minutes to do this. I would not have been annoyed if she said no but she said yes. Yes maybe it does have to do with her relationship with me.

Love to nick photos from facebook, a bit hard when she won't post any, this how the most of rest of my family communicate and how we keep up with each others lives it was why we got accounts in the first place.

One example is before I moved away from Australia, I was expected to look after the cat every tme she wanted to go away. As I said earlier they went on holiday when their contracts exchanged on their house so I finished packing for them and then moved for them and even went and bought storage and moved the cat and by the time they got from their holiday, most of the house was unpacked and the cat was settled.

Obviously asking for one photo is unreasonable and I am hard work. I don't ask much of my family and I was trying to do something nice for my nephew.

OP posts:
mynewpassion · 03/07/2012 15:17

Yes the sister agreed with good intentions but life got in the way and the picture went to the bottom of her priorities. Be understandable.

They still got you a picture. Not the precise one but they still sent you but picture you got.

Cheriefroufrou · 03/07/2012 15:19

YABU, you wanna make him a card, that's nice, but youre asking your sis to do most of the work.. not that its a lot of work but its still a chore, another thing on the to do list! so what if she played games, she may have NEEDED her zone out time! I'm sure you can find something else where the efford is more on your part then theirs!

Viviennemary · 03/07/2012 15:25

YABU I think OP. You want to make a card. That's nice of you. But you should have asked weeks ago for the photos to make sure you got them in time. Or found a photo of him that you had. I can understand people not wanting to post loads of photos on facebook. If I was asked to take a photo it would take months. To find the camera, then it would have run out of batteries, then the lead would be missing. So it would be hopeless.

Original poster
goodiegoodieyumyum · 03/07/2012 15:59

I asked if she had a photo to send, she said she didn't, I did not ask her to take the photo she offered, for me this would have taken a minute, I know where my camera is it takes seconds for me to take a photo ,seconds to take the memory card out of the camera and put it into the computer. So maybe I was looking at this from my perspective and not hers,

I suppose it bothers me that in nearly two years she has not once sent me a photo of her children either by email or by post, I always include photos in my Christmas cards and will be giving all of my family copies of our family portrait when we have it done later this year. We share photos via facebook she does not.

I think I will just have to choose another card son time for his birthday.

OP posts:
Pandemoniaa · 03/07/2012 16:03

It may be the easiest thing in the world for you to grab your camera, take a photo, download it and send it off but it's not really fair to assume the same of your sister is it? Who knows what other things might have got in the way. Not least the availability of the child, shirt, camera and basically the time to co-ordinate all these things.

Also, it occurs to me that this is not so much about her tardiness with the camera but much more about the lack of contact since you've been in Australia. Not everyone wants to share their children's lives on Facebook (and who can blame them) and not everyone is as interested in capturing every moment of their family life on camera. Let alone having a family portrait every year.

So yes, I can see why you are annoyed but actually YABU.