AIBU to expect my husband to...

[Lonelylou]

wake up and help me with my heavy case when I come back from a weekend of looking after elderly parents. He didn't offer to get up even though he could see me struggling.

He didn't give me a kiss or a hug and say he'd missed me...does this only happen in films? I've told him before I get upset about the none-contact.

He does get up at 5.30am for his driving job and return about 1pm. This makes him tired. I got in at 2.30pm

I just ignored him because he'd upset me and did my own thing for the rest of the day and went to bed early. We barely spoke and I'm still seething!!!

I'm acting the martyr aren't I?

She got home at 2:30 in the afternoon ... Norway should he be so tired .... Plenty of people do much longer hours

My H said that he struggled with verbal displays of affection as he thought that saying it more became a habit so you mean it less.

Then he had an affair. So yes, sometimes actions do speak louder than words

Ah thats different then. Its not really the helping you with the case is it, its the fact he didn't greet you.

The thing is - if he has never been the sort to give you a hug or kiss to greet you then you can't really read too much into it but if it makes you unhappy then you do need to tell him.

I hope you are ok!

Do you ever greet him with a hug and a kiss? Or is it always a cats bum face because he hasn't gone to do it first?

Hmm, I don't know if men (makes massive sweeping generalisation) always 'get' that us wimmin like to hear these things. I'm on mat leave and always greet DH with 'You're Home!!!!'/'it's daddddeeee!' (to DS obvs), but have to swoop in to get a kiss most of the time as it's just not his priority when he gets home after a long commute (and wants to go to the loo/hang up his coat/get into comfier clothes etc).

You could always say... 'when X happens I'd like you to say Y, Z and do blah blah etc' and maybe he will. But it's less satisfying when you've asked him to do it rather than it being spontaneous, i know. :-(

Also if your parents are unwell (?) you may be feeling extra-sensitive and sad because of this? Can you say to DH that you're feeling a bit sad about it all and will he sit and chat with you when he's had a rest etc?

Sending virtual/un-mnetty hugs!

Did you greet him with a hug and a kiss?

DH is not very demonstrative at the best of times. I had to give myself a bit of a kick up the arse and acknowledge that it doesn't really matter who instigates the hug and kiss as long as one of you does.

I don't get the snoozing on the sofa all day if you get up at 5.30am - I get up at 6.20 and manage to get through to 10-10.30pm before the snoring snoozing on the sofa starts.

Cockwomble I loved the catsbumface reference. That made me laugh.

Thanks for your support and advice all...even if I did wince a bit it was constructive criticism and I do need to start the conversation...but again it's ALWAYS me who has to start the conversation about the SAME subjects.