hating being back at work

[cheekypickle]

first whole day back teaching and I hate it! perhaps because I dont have my own class and am just covering.

miss DD

any words of support?

I'm not enjoying work but I don't want to be a SAHM either. I feel totally confused!

Would you be able to work part time?

Baygreen I think the op is feeling very unsure of herself atm. The constant posting on the same topic makes me feel the op wants someone else to make the decision for her. That way she can do what she wants, guilt-free.
I may be wrong though.

I'm worried to ask headteacher

DH wants me to work full time

I think you are in a good position in that you can see how the next few weeks will go and then have the holidays to think about your options,maybe part time is an option.
But from what I read you are sending DD to the CM for a large part of the day-and I understand your reasons for that-so you won't really be a SAHM either,you will have a couple of hours with her before she goes to bed.
What are your other options,if any?

Your dh must have some clue as to your ability to work ft though? If his reasoning is financial could you cut down on anything to make up for the drop in salary?

Sorry cross posted,does your DH know how confused you feel right now?I wouldn't make any decisions based on your first day or even week back.And even if he does want you to work full time maybe that's too big a step right now

Do you feel well enough to be back at work full time? Could you try 3 or 4 days a week?

Why does your dh want you to work FT? Is it for financial reasons?

No it's not or financial reasons.

I've been ill and thought full time work would help/take my mind off things.

Sorry I'm just crap at being a teacher and crap at being a mum :(

Doesn't sound like you are quite ready but it's early days yet, give it some time.

Are you really allowed to post on MN from school?

Go easy on yourself. Your dd needs you to be engaged and happy when you are together. If this means being part time sahm and part time dd in childcare then do what works for you.

Full time work is a lot to take on when you have a baby who needs constant supervision and love. I think you need to consider what you want to do short term, and take things a bit at a time. If you want to work then work and if you don't (and can afford not to) then don't. Sometimes we seek "permission" from others in order to feel ok about our choices. I wonder if you can't face the responsibility of making the choice whether to work or not.

Did your dh actually say he wants you to work ft or is that what you assume he wants? Sounds like you need some proper advice from someone qualified to help you. Are you having counselling?

The first day is the hardest. Tomorrow will be easier.

Why do teachers get such a bashing about our hours. I work two and a half days is ten hours at home which means I do at least 34 hours a week which is supposed to be part time. Lots to do in the holidays too. The job is pretty stressful and certainly not what most people think. The time in the classroom is literally half the job. Having said that I love it and even though I miss my little girl when I am at work I do enjoy what I do. It's honestly not 3:15 finishes and 13 weeks off. Honest.

Ps sorry meant to say don't panic OP it will honestly get better.

Neville - that's a lovely, supportive post.

Cheekypickle- I have read your other threads & I agree that you need to talk to someone in RL. IIRC, you have just got out of hospital after being in for 6 weeks. This will take some adjusting to as you're now having to fend for yourself & get back into your stride with DD. I don't think AIBU is the best place for the support you're needing sweetheart. There will always be divided opinions and I think this will muddle you further. Is there not a psych team in place for after care? Perhaps you could talk to someone there? Also, is your Health Visitor supportive?

Also try to remember that parenting is difficult and we all question our choices and our way of doing things from time to time. Why not try to stop over thinking things and just give yourself permission to go with the flow for a little while and then if things aren't working you can tweak what you're doing? Also, have you had support from your school? Could you contact your LA's occupational health?

To whoever said that in teaching you don't get people saying they couldn't leave their kids etc etc, yes you bleddy well do!! It's making me feel even worse about working full time

Cheeky- I think full time is possibly too much for you right now. It's too much for the best of us, let alone those who have been in hospital and have a young baby. I must admit the comment you made about being both a crap mum and teacher struck a chord with me. There's just so much guilt involved and I feel for you! I hope you're having follow up appointments, perhaps with GP?

Take care x