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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to expect parents to back me in the play park!

37 replies

joyciegirl · 01/07/2012 21:07

Group of unaccompanied 12 -13 yr olds monopolising some equipment in the park today. Loads of parents with 2-8 yr olds looking peeved. I took my two over to the item they wanted a turn on and told the kids that my two would like a turn please. They got off and let them have a turn, when my two got off I thanked the girls for taking turns. We went to the roundabout and repeated the request to another group of mostly boys who also got off and let my two have a go. The older kids were obviously a bit put out but they did what they were asked! We had another go on each item again, each time asking the big kids to finish their turn so the little ones could have a go!

Other parents smiled and raised eyebrows at me indicating they thought the older kids were a nuisance but not one came and joined the queue for the basket swing or got on the roundabout too. It would have helped to send the message to the big kids that they have to take turns!

OP posts:

pjmama · 01/07/2012 21:10

You asked them to give your kids a turn and they did exactly what you asked, not sure why you needed backup?

Petsinmypudenda · 01/07/2012 21:12

Why did you need them? They moved when you asked them too?

AnyoneForTennis · 01/07/2012 21:13

I don't understand either!

Wheezo · 01/07/2012 21:20

I think you did the right thing asking for a turn but how are the older children going to know who wants a go unless they are approached by either one of the older-younger children or a toddler with mum in tow.

We live in central London and I must say that I sometimes get a bit cross when we turn up at the playground (clearly labelled up to 11 years old) and there's a gang of 12 - 15 year old boys jumping on the bridges etc. but on the flip side I'm not so sure where they have to go just to hang out - and it was quite sweet to see a group of about 8 of them part ways to let my 2 year old walk back and forth across the bridges with one of them shouting at the others to wait until he's finished. Since having a toddler and spending a lot of time in parks and playgrounds just this summer I've generally been pleasantly surprised about how considerate most of the 'hoodies' we encounter are - I do ask for a turn on the equipment but the politeness of the responses are nice and it's just teens being as unthinking as they generally are but if I relied on what I read in the papers I'd think I was going to be knifed every time I said Can he have a go on the swing please - and it is thankfully very very far from that.

I think there are 2 youth clubs nearby, 1 which might have been shut down which had outside space. The other is really a room with a pool table.

funchum8am · 01/07/2012 21:20

Well done for showing people that teenagers, if dealt with like normal human beings, will generally do the right thing. It seems strange that people will sit there tutting but not actually just try speaking to them. Obviously they are being rude by not letting younger children have a go but if all it takes is a polite request.... I don't see why people are so reluctant to ask just because someone happens to be under 21 (and possibly wearing a hoodie).

It would be nice if local authorities put in some age-appropriate facilities for teenagers in separate areas of parks and open spaces so they didn't monopolise that which is left for the little ones too.

usualsuspect · 01/07/2012 21:25

You asked they moved, don't see your problem tbh

ThisIsAUsername · 01/07/2012 21:28

What did you want to happen? To have a line of mums behind you looking disapprovingly at the older kids?

They moved when you asked. That's all that matters, isn't it?

Sirzy · 01/07/2012 21:30

Whats the issue? They didn't stop your children from being able to use anything, they weren't rude or abusive. They were using a public space and showed consideration for others using it.

BlackOutTheSun · 01/07/2012 21:31

Not seeing the problem, they moved when asked?

LoveAndOtherIndoorSports · 01/07/2012 21:33

So you think 12-13 yr olds shouldn't be allowed to play? what do you suggest they do? Go and mug oldies?
You asked them for a turn. They gave your kid a turn. What's the problem?

WhiteWidow · 01/07/2012 21:33

They did as you asked why is there a problem?

You'd rather the others said something too? That's bullying

LoveAndOtherIndoorSports · 01/07/2012 21:33

So you think 12-13 yr olds shouldn't be allowed to play? what do you suggest they do? Go and mug oldies?
You asked them for a turn. They gave your kid a turn. What's the problem?

AnyoneForTennis · 01/07/2012 21:33

Op come back and explain!

poorbuthappy · 01/07/2012 21:34

I think the issue is that a lot of patents would simply inwardly rant about this (or post on here) instead of being reasonable and asking big kids to let little kids have turn.
Big kids are still kids and sometimes can't see past the fact that no one is wanting to go on the basket swing etc so won't move.

I would have joined your queue OP.

WorraLiberty · 01/07/2012 21:34

I can't see the problem either?

Most teenagers (even in this shitty area) will move off the equipment if little ones want to go on it.

And there's a 14 age limit on the equipment here too.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 01/07/2012 21:37

Maybe the other Mums weren't bothered about trying to make their children play on something when they were happily occupied elsewhere just for the sake of making a point, especially one that didn't need to be made because the teenagers were good?

Pickles77 · 01/07/2012 21:39

I don't think it's about backing up, I think the post is more about people and parents not being intimidated by these teenagers as when approached properly they aren't all like these we see on the news?
I think that's the point? How I interpreted it anyway?

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 01/07/2012 21:47

I read the second paragraph in the OP differently then Pickels

Pickles77 · 01/07/2012 21:49

I have a really bad habit of speed reading so I may be getting it wrong lol

AnyoneForTennis · 01/07/2012 21:52

I think the op was another attempt at demonising teenagers.... If so, it was an epic fail!!

mummy349 · 01/07/2012 21:52

I think at that age they r still kids so I dont c anything wrong with them playing in the park, playgrounds r intended for up to 14 years
doesnt really bother me much if they r in the park as if my ds wants a turn he will tell me, and I have never come across any kids who have been rude if ive asked if ds can have a turn and they always let him.
what really grinds my gears (sorry I watch way to much family guy is when there r teenagers in the park who r drinking/smoking/spitting/swearing
a group of 12-13 year olds who r just playing doesnt bother me in the slightest

WhiteWidow · 01/07/2012 21:59

I read that in Peter Griffins voice then mummy ha. Thanks for the laugh! :o

mummy349 · 01/07/2012 22:03

:-) I constantly say it, I said it to my elderly gran the other day she was like grind ur what...is this another 'saying of the youth' as she calls anything she doesnt understand!

saintmerryweather · 01/07/2012 22:08

so basically the thread is about nothing?

Original poster

joyciegirl · 01/07/2012 22:13

I did not have the problem with the big kids! Just the silly parents looking disgruntled and tutting but doing bugger all to ask the kids for a go. When I did they all still looked a bit sheepish and just shrugged and smiled but did not then ask for the turns they obviously wanted their kids to have! They will be the parents who grumble and post on forums but not do anything. TBH the big kids did know they were controlling the equipment..& it is aimed at younger kids...there is another local park with more 'challenging' apparatus.. Its that thing about the whole village raising the kids. If adults allow kids to develop selfish habits we pay the consequence! My kids had a great time!

OP posts:

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