to think this person should attempt to care for the children they have got before producing another one?

[GnocchiNineDoors]

A family friend has taken in, one by one, the four DCs of her cousin. At around two, they move in with her permanently and stay until they leave as an adult.

Said friend has two children of her own who are now adults, living elsewhere with their own partners and families, and while I know she obviously accepts these children into her life and cares for them (very well), I feel for her in that she's done her bit. She's raised her kids.

I am unsure of the reasons behind the cousin not being able or willing to care for her own DC, and accept that she may find motherhood hard, may have health issues, may be unable to support them financially or emotionally. For that reason, I think it's great of Family Friend to step in and take care of the DCs.

The cousin sees the DCs one afternoon a week (on average).

This cousin has now announced that she is pregnant, and taking the very excited "eeek, another baby, yeah!!!!!!" stance. She is excited that she is to "be a Mummy for the fifth time, whooooop!!!!".

AM I BU to actually think "another child to dump on Family Friend, you irresponsible cow"

Yy, you may think that well, she might 'do it right' this time.....well, she has four DCs who she could take back and do it right for before having yet another one.

yanbu, people like that should be sterilised.

This isn't my bio-mum is it? Sounds just like her and no YANBU but people like bobbledunk make me sick, who are you to be able to say someone should be sterilised!

Schrdingersmew - I hate the thought of enforced steralisation but must say am at a loss of what else can solve this sort of problem and the poor damaged children it invariably produces ??

The OP has said the children have been well looked after, yes this set up is very unfair but OP hasn't said anything to say the children are damaged.

Based on what you've said OP, YANBU. I used to work with a lady who adopted a DS. Two years later she was asked to adopt his new little brother.Both same bio parents. She did. Then two years later she adopted her boys' new sister, then finally, another boy. All the same bio parents. I didn't have DC at the time, but I did wonder why this couple kept having children that they put up for adoption. It was not a surrogacy or private fostering agreement (colleague assured us of this).

How can she have the front to be all chuffed about the new baby number 6 when she can't even look after the ones she has?! Doesn't this irony of this occur to her?

People like this shouldnt be allowed to have more kids.

She shouldt be sterilised but she should be made to have some sort of contraception. It's ridiculous how some women are just baby making machines, then said babies are dumped onto other people.

Its hard as well as some of the cousins friends are acquantances of mine so if and when I see them theyll be "oooh isnt it so exciting about Cousin and her new baby"....

Also, as an aside, this news is being shared with all and sundry yet she xant be more than 5 weeks.

poor children, I think perhaps she enjoys the baby stage then gets bored and enjoys attention of being pregnant.

does she have alchohol/drug problems bio mother??

Not that I or anyone I know is aware of.

Im hesitant to discuss it too in depth with FF as I dont want to appear insensitive or unsupportive of what shes doing.

My Dmum is very blunt and says "come on now, FF, yiuve brought your kids up....get her told" which I think is unhelpful and obviously something Ff doesnt want to do.

I'd think you were talking about my cousin op but she's already had 5th child and actually 3 years on has managed to keep this one!

SS kept taking her dc (quite rightly due to drug problems) and giving them to my auntie, cousin kept having more in the hope that she would one day get to keep one. (Which she has now she's off drugs)

Anyway YANBU

Nobody can force anyone to be sterilised or take contraception. There is a lot of money and time put intO trying to get high risk women to use larc but a lot of them 1) don't see what they did wrong with older DCs and 2) believe (hope over experience) that they can do it if they can just keep one
Also in some families there is a normality in DCs being looked after elsewhere and it's not particularly shameful. I know lads who proudly have their dc names tattooed on them despite them being removed and adopted, girls who proudly announce they are having a boy after 2 girls on Facebook when those 2 girls have been adopted...it's not such a stigma, sadly.