To have just walked out of my mum's house shaking with rage

[BlackholesAndRevelations]

...because she hit my toddler daughter?!

It was only a tap on the bum but WE DO NOT DO THIS and she knows it! I actually said, "how dare you?!" Have never spoken to my mum like that but having my own kids, well... I'm different bow I suppose, and someone else hitting my child was like a red rag to a bull. Mumsnet jury?

YANBU

YANBU

I think once you have calmed down you need to have a proper talk with her and explain that she must not do this again.

Why did she smack her and how old is your dd out of interest?

I would be fuming too!

You need to speak to her once you are calmer and explain why it was wrong and really stress that it is not something you 'do' .

a tap on the bum isnt "hitting your daughter" imo

what was the child doing to warrant being disciplined

YANBU

Bums are private areas for everybody, aswell.

YANBU. My mum did this years ago to my 4 year old and screamed and shouted at her because she said the milk she had been given was off (it was!)

I told my mother she had a vipers tongue and packed my bags and drove home with my children. It was 2 months before I spoke to her again.

Well it is a very good way of showing your mum you are serious about this while your daughter is too young to be too upset by it so I would say YANBU.

A tap on the bum. Not Hit. I think you have made your point, don't fall out over it.

My mum knows not to smack my children so I would react exactly as you did in the same circumstances. Hitting/smacking/"tapping" another persons child regardless of whether the parents are smackers or not is unacceptable in my view.

I think yanbu - and I have smacked all my dcs. It's not about the tap/smack/hitting. It's that she disciplined your dc in a way you do not want to use. That's not acceptable and it's good that you showed that.

if you don't want people to discipline your child, get there first. make sure she doesn't need your mother's interventions.

YANBU. But probably best that you all calm down before discussing this further. Is your daughter still with your mum?

lovebunny Yeah, because no toddler pushes it

Its not about discipline, it about the principle of hitting/smacking/tapping a child that is not yours!

Exactly, lovebunny

Hitting children is wrong whatever the reason, but whether or not you were right in your reaction depends a lot on context.

Can you give a bit more information about the situation?

YANBU not at all. Completely unacceptable behavior from your Mum.

YADNBU.

It'd got nothing to do with whether anyone else agrees with smacking or not.

You have told her you don't, she did it anyway.

Massive lack of respect. Hopefully you making a stand will shift the boundaries with her.

Oops- for some reason this has posted twice?! I have explained on the other one! She pushed her baby brother and mum got in there before I'd even fully registered- was an instant reaction. No bloody thought behind it whatsoever. Grr