to find my ex and ask for my thousand pounds back?

[darksecret]

It's that simple! We broke off an engagement five years ago, thank goodness. He was a compulsive spender and owed me 1000 pounds at the titme. I'm now married and disabled with a 10 month old DD and there are so many ways I could use the cash. In addition, and I'm probably being quite silly, I find it irritating that he never paid me back. His last words were "I'll get that money to you, I promise!" His family are quite wealthy and he has no trouble borrowing money endlessly from them for his own purposes, so he could do that if he wished.

I'm sure I could find him if I tried, though out of respect to DH I could not be the one to make contact.

But perhaps I should just say "bygones....". What do you think?

Paiviaso - Is this a new definition of drip-feeding? Not sure "drip-feeding" accusations apply if you don't bother to read the thread before you post? No one's obliged to read entire thread before posting but perhaps sensible to state you haven't so your opinion is based only on OP rather than accusing OP of drip-feeding once you realise your post sounds odd/misinformed because you haven't read the thread - OP posted about the FB message almost an hour before you posted so the information was already there - you chose not to read it. Absolutely fine. But instead of accusing of drip-feeding doesn't it come down to either read the thread and opine, or don't read the thread and state it when you opine?

My motto is - never lend money you cannot afford to lose.

I think you are rather late but it might be worth you FBing him to request the money back. Explain that you are in a tricky situation a the moment and it would really help.

I have been owed money by 2 ex. One owed me 3k & another 6k. I went without to make their lives nicer,makes me quite angry when i think of it although it was 10 years ago.Neither got the money in lump sums but gradually. How I fell for a load of crap again is a bit sad tbh. One was a secret gambler,one just supremely selfish.
Let it go,if you see the money it would be a miracle (a lovely one!).

It's 5 years ago, let it go.
Just out of curiosity though, you say "out of respect to DH I couldn't be the one to make contact"?????? If it's your money and you want it back, who else is going to ask for it? Are you considering sending the boys round with baseball bats???? Just let it go.

Wheezo any pertinent information that is not included in the OP but is revealed in comments is drip feeding.

I'm baffled as to what your definition of drip feeding must be, if not that.

I doubt I'm alone in not reading every single comment on a post, because it would take ages to get through posts. I usually read about the first 3 comments, and then unless it's a particularly juicy post, I add my YABU/YANBU.

My ex owes me £1450. I haven't bothered him about it, its a small price to pay for never having to see him again

My dad would like to go break his legs though :o

So no, I'd just leave it.

OK Paviaso - you only had to say you hadn't read the rest of the thread before you posted your opinion then you wouldn't have to get cross and accuse the OP of drip-feeding.

icelolly What a dreadful way for your ex to get on. I hope you're with somebody nicer.x
Whitewidow and floggingmolly I was thinking about asking DH if he felt comfortable doing it. My ex was a decent guy, just awful about money. He probably still is.
Paiv: I'm sure I do seem naive in comparison to your sophisticated disdain! The problem with the term 'drip feeding' is that it implies a degree of manipulation. The fact that you're throwing it around so readily suggests that your beef is not with me.

I think I will just leave it.

Yes,but you live & learn. I think I wanted things to work so badly I ignored the signs. There were plenty of them!

Isn't that always the way...