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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want to just curl up and go to sleep?

44 replies

NewMummy48 · 30/06/2012 15:36

DH's parents are visiting and due to be here in about 20 minutes. I was diagnosed with PND 2 days ago and I have never felt worse since taking the antidepressants yesterday, I had no sleep last night and DH said that I needed to clean the house this morning for his DP so I am tired. The antidepressants have totally taken it out of me, I don't stop crying, I'm irritable and I am so tired. AIBU to just want to go to bed and read a book and have a sleep while they are here?

OP posts:

Original poster

NewMummy48 · 30/06/2012 17:58

My DH said that he would leave me if I done that, I asked him if that would be okay yesterday and that's what he said. I told me DM this and she said you have to do what's right for your family. I feel completely isolated and alone It's like it's me against everyone else.

OP posts:

SpottyTeacakes · 30/06/2012 18:02

Maybe try posting in relationships? There are some lovely helpful ladies on there. Your dh is being very unsupportive it's not on. I hope you get some rest

SoleSource · 30/06/2012 18:11

Is DH being a complete arse orare his requesats more acceptable in your specific culture?

Original poster

NewMummy48 · 30/06/2012 18:14

No it's nothing like that at all, I do not know why he is being like this.

OP posts:

Fairenuff · 30/06/2012 18:23

I told me DM this and she said you have to do what's right for your family

If there are problems in your relationship, you cannot fix them all by yourself. Your dh has to take some of the responsibility. He is being completely unreasonable and you do not have to put up with that behaviour.

What do you want? Do you have any friends nearby who are supportive.

CuriousMama · 30/06/2012 19:23

So out of the blue he's suddenly being a twat? How long have you been together? And is this since your baby was born?

Nice that he'd so easily leave you given how ill you are

Original poster

NewMummy48 · 30/06/2012 19:29

He has been like this before and he has been particularly off with me since I said to him that I was going to go to the doctor about PND and when I got diagnosed he just became angry with me. We have been married 2 years now. I have not heard a peep from him since, they have had a takeaway delivered and seem like they are having a right laugh. I am so exhausted about this situation that I just want to sleep all night but I know that he would be annoyed and his DP would find it utterly rude.

OP posts:

CuriousMama · 30/06/2012 19:32

Sorry to hear this. You know this isn't a healthy relationship though don't you?

Have a nap and maybe go down after that? Only if you feel like it though.

when are you back at the GP? And when do you see your HV?

Laquitar · 30/06/2012 19:43

He must very ignorant about PND. Is any case that he is angry because he sees PND -or mental illnesses generally- as a stigma? Your posts and your families sound to me like a certain culture, are you not British?

I second the idea to take your dh with you when you see someone. He needs to be educated re pnd. How is he with your son.

You sound very sad and isolated . I hope you find some help here.

Original poster

NewMummy48 · 30/06/2012 19:52

I can see that our relationship has gone downhill, I never wanted that but he seems to be asking for it to happen in a way. I see my GP in 2 weeks and the HV in 10 days. I will talk to the HV and see if she would just talk to him about PND, he told me that I was being attention seeking and overdramatic how tired I said I was (I have never been attention seeking, I am shy and quite reserved) We are English, No culture or religion either.

OP posts:

CuriousMama · 30/06/2012 19:57

Blimey he is very ignorant isn't he? Can you bring any of these appointments forward? You need to tell your HV what he's saying imo. I'm sure she's heard it before?

griphook · 30/06/2012 20:34

Hi op, I maybe way off the mark and apologies if I am. How much of your dh's attitude towards you do you feel is contributing to your depression. I ask because he sounds very controlling and i wondered how much aniexty this is causing which is a major factor in depression.

With my ds he goes to nursery twice a week, and even through we can not really afford it I honestly think it saved me. Just those few hours a week where I could curl up if needed or just not been needed Ifyswim.

Rachaelboo · 30/06/2012 20:51

I hope your okay. You just do what you need to do to get yourself better. If you want to stay with your family just do it, it's upto you not him. What is wrong with you going to your parents for a few weeks?

also some people are very ignorant when it comes to mental health. A lot don't understand , especially those who have never been there. If they pick at you stand your ground, don't feel ashamed or beat yourself up over what you are going through. Lots of people are suffering don't feel on your own just because they make you feel like you are on your own. Your not.

Rachaelboo · 30/06/2012 20:54

You also need to stand your ground with this bully. Your ill and no sleep, he can do his own cleaning ESP when it's his parents and he shouldn't have them there if you are too ill

thebackson12 · 30/06/2012 22:31

God, poor you just leave , leave , leave!!!

Fairenuff · 30/06/2012 22:36

I am so exhausted about this situation that I just want to sleep all night but I know that he would be annoyed and his DP would find it utterly rude

Why do you care what your dh thinks about this, or what his parents think. You are tired, you go to sleep. It's not difficult to understand.

What can they do about it if you go to bed? They can sit downstairs tutting at each other in disapproval but so what? You'll be snoring by then. Just ignore them x

CuriousMama · 01/07/2012 13:25

How are you today OP?

thebackson12 · 01/07/2012 14:10

Let us know how you are doing , I don't say this lightly but I really think you should break away from this person/family.

really nasty pieces of work.

Foslady · 01/07/2012 14:23

Think it's about time you lost it with him - you have nothing to loose. If it doesn't shake him up, then tell him to go back with his parents. My ex didn't understand my PND - I had counselling and it took me 6 months to admit it to him, and all he did was get angry and accuse me of having a go at him despite the fact I never mentioned him at all, just that I'd been struggling with all the changes, with physically and mentally! He also expected me to do everything and helped with nothing, after all, I did nothing all day and he went to work, so I had to look after our child, have our home spotless, visit all the relatives to make sure that everyone was happy, run all his errands, cook all his meals and when my day was over could go to bed when he did (otherwise I was being awkward) ready for the night feed. Looking back I was a classic case, and it sounds like you are too. You NEED to start being kind to yourself, and if he won't change his attitude, then you maybe need to look at changing the situation. Note that he is now my ex, and life is much more calmer now, for both me and my child.......

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