in not stopping my children help with nappy changing?

[Sluttybuttons]

I have b/g twins. When it comes to nappy changing they like to help me with the other. So for example DTD will help wipe DTS (after ive got the messy part done) and "help" put his nappy on and do the tabs.

The other day a HV (not our usual one) was in just seeing how they were and saw what they do at nappy changing time. She said oh you cant let them do that, its inappropriate.

Was IBU to laugh at her and tell her not to be so ridiculous?

They are 2 - my HV visited until I kicked her out ds was 5.

i only questioned as i have never known a HV to vist unless thier specific issues, problems or concerns. My hv visited me at home once when dd was about 3 weeks old and then I only seen her at clinic for weighing or If I had a question for her.

I see the HV at home because my buggy doesnt fit into the clinic. She came to give try and talk me into the MMR (which i will have but only when they are a little bit older) my proper HV knows this but this 1 was standing in and im guessing she saw they hadnt had it and felt the need to remind me they hadnt had it. She also reminded me that they will be due their 2 year check.

Well i'm still changing a shitty nappies now and my baby is 14 yrs old soon. Maybe because just before I wrote my post there was shyte all over my bed, DS legs, feet, my arms etc, Was how I felt at the time of posting.

Shouldn't have posted, sorry.

. I had one initial visit from the HV (at 10 days old) for all three of mine; then told if I had any problems I could ask to speak to her when I went to the baby weighing sessions at the local health centre.
Is that sort of constant surveillance (5 years) normal?

SoleSource. . You're entitled to vent if you need to.

oh solesorce hope you managed to get cleaned, I know how physically difficult it is to provide that level of support, so I do admire you for that.

An other eason it is inappropriate is because it is not a very good message to give your children that it is OK to use each others genitals for their own appeasment or pleasure. If it is anolder child who is genuine capable and able to do it for genuine reasons of help and support then that is different and by no means inappropriate.

:) thank you, sorry OP x

You can post any time you want Sole - you weren't rude or anything

sole no need to appologise. Cleaning up shit from anywhere other than a nappy is not fun (not that its fun from a nappy either) no wonder you need to vent.

I would hardly say they are using each others genitals for their own pleasure, that just sounds wrong. DT do it to their dolls and they do it to each other. They wash peoples faces and blow noses too.

Slutty - I just think that 2 is not a bad time to start teaching DCs about the difference between publicly visible parts of the body and private ones

It doesn't sound strange to me. I get the 'wave a wipe' thing. They want to look like they are helping, the're not getting crap out of crevices.

of course they are why else are they being encouraged to do it, it is serving their own need and pleasing them selfs and their mother. Last I heared there was not much need to install appropriate bounderies around nose blowing. a bit grim though getting young children to help blow each others noses. Using dolls is a very safe way to explore these roles as children. At 2 they should be learning that their genitals are private and no one needs to be touching them unless for an appropriate reason.

TheEnthusiasticTroll, they are not encouraged. They are only 2. Should i stop bathing them together or maybe i should make sure they never see each other naked again. Its not like when they are potty trained ill be "encouraging" them to wipe each others bums.

TBH, I don't think it's that big a deal, but I still wouldn't do it, for the reasons I've given. I'd say that seeing is different from touching. And helping is to be encouraged. I suspect they'll lose interest in the wiping on their own, soon

of course they can bath together that is totaly irrelevent and a pathetic responce.

Yuk, i would not encourage it. How odd

Being bathed together is not same as touching intimate areas

"Its not like when they are potty trained ill be "encouraging" them to wipe each others bums."

well assuming that is going to be pretty soon, could you explain the difference now to when they are potty trained?

OP I can completely see the innocence and sweetness of the helping. However, there is a reason the health visitor (for once) would tut in that fraternal twins can have boundary issues and close can become too close. Time to teach them privates are private even from each other and best avoid horrible mess.

I agree with the hv, its not something i would be comfy with.

OP I don't think there is anything wrong with it. They are 2 ffs. As far as they are concerned it is just a normal part of caring for each other. Twins are going to be close to one another, in lots of different ways, and I think any attempt to read too much into that closeness is weird. And says more about others than about your DTs.

It is to protect the twin whose bum is being wiped rather than suspicion of the one doing the wiping. Children need to know who and why others are allowed to touch private parts. IMO 2 is not to young to learn that this is restricted to Doctors and parents.

... and even then only in certain circumstances (obviously)